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| Irregular Webcomic! #901 | [caption]: Larissa Railway Station, Athens. / / Monty: Trains to Moscow are operated by the Russian railway, so we need to find a Russian employee. / / Minnesota Jones: There's one! / / Worker: * http://irregularwebcomic.net/901.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #902 | Spanners: No, we can't risk contaminating an entire planetary ecosystem with hostile alien organisms by smuggling Paris' body in. / / Serron: Hang on... There's more than one side to this, you know. You can't paint it in black and white terms. / / Iki Piki: I'm impressed that you're weighing that against loyalty to Paris and the chance we could save her. / / Serron: What? I'm weighing it against my potential profit margins. http://irregularwebcomic.net/902.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #903 | Charity Collector Guy: So what's this job you wanted me for? / / Head Death: COLLECTING THE SOULS OF THE NEWLY DEPARTED. IT PAYS $50 A SOUL, PLUS INTERDIMENSIONAL TRAVEL EXPENSES. / / Charity Collector Guy: Oh. Sorry. I can't do that. It's against my principles. / Head Death: OH? / / Charity Collector Guy: I only work for charitable causes. I refuse to be paid. / Head Death: YOU'RE KIDDING... http://irregularwebcomic.net/903.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #904 | Alvissa: They hold an annual apple harvest festival in Footcrag. We should be there in time to see it. / / Mordekai: I'm really interested to see this town. / / Alvissa: I didn't know you enjoyed exotic local customs. / / Mordekai: I like places where nobody knows me yet. http://irregularwebcomic.net/904.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #905 | Ophelia: [[at Shakespeare's desk]] I'm sorry about your love's labour's lost, Will. All that writing... / Shakespeare: Turns out it's okay, Ophelia. / / Shakespeare: They decided not to publish a novelisation of the movies, and I got paid commission anyway, as outlined in the contract. / / Shakespeare: So it was much ado about nothing, but all's well that ends well! / / Ophelia: [[walking back to her own desk]] Except my ploy to win him over with sympathy has turned into a comedy of errors... http://irregularwebcomic.net/905.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #906 | Prof. Jones: [[in Cyrillic characters]] Zdrastvuitye!, moy Russkiy druk! [[in Latin characters]] Any chance last night's train to Moscow has been delayed somewhere? / / Ticket Seller: Russian trains always run on time! / / Prof. Jones: Yes, yes, very loyal. What if I give you this new pair of tennis shoes? / / Ticket Seller: Is stuck in Kiev! http://irregularwebcomic.net/906.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #907 | [[scene: on a commercial jetliner]] / Steve: Crikey! I'm glad we got that sorted, Terry. / / Steve: Buggers me why you think Jane Goodall doesn't like me though. She was very helpful. / / [[scene: external shot of plane flying]] / Steve: Especially the way she got me through that express VIP customs lane at the airport. / / [[scene: inside the plane again]] / Terry: She had you deported, Steve. http://irregularwebcomic.net/907.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #908 | Spanners: So we're agreed? We flush Paris' body out the airlock? / / Iki Piki: Yes. We're passing a handy garden planet. Maybe she can rest in eternal peace there. / / Serron: No! Far too dangerous! / Iki Piki: Because of the alien parasites? / / Serron: No. Do you know how much Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock sucked? http://irregularwebcomic.net/908.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #909 | Head Death: VERY WELL, YOU'VE TALKED ME DOWN TO PAYING NOTHING. WILL YOU DO THE JOB? / / Charity Collector Guy: Is it for a worthy cause? / / Head Death: RESTORING THE DELICATE BALANCE OF LIFE AND DEATH TO THE UNIVERSE. / / Charity Collector Guy: I don't have an unusually high midichlorian count or something, do I? http://irregularwebcomic.net/909.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #910 | [caption]: ==Mythbusters== "Smoking is a health hazard" / / Jamie: Today's myth is an interesting one, Adam: that "smoking is bad for your health." / / Adam: Well, that's just stupid. I don't think there's any need to even test that one! / / Jamie: I agree. This myth is busted. / Adam: Totally busted! / [caption]: [[in tiny print]] This episode of Mythbusters sponsored by Philip Morris Tobacco. http://irregularwebcomic.net/910.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #911 | [[scene: walking along the streets of Athens]] / Monty: Tennis shoes, dad? / / Prof. Jones: Oh yes. Tennis is very big with Russians, particularly ones who deal with government bureaucracy. / / Prof. Jones: They especially like the end of the game, where they congratulate the other player. / / Monty: Oh? / Prof. Jones: Yes, they love leaping over a wall of nyetting. http://irregularwebcomic.net/911.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #912 | Lambert: Oooow... Owooow... / Alvissa: Lambert, what's wrong? / / Lambert: It's been four years to the day, Alvissa... It's never fully healed. / / Alvissa: Since that Ringwraith stabbed you on Weathertop? / / Lambert: Since I tried to eat that ninth dessert at the Hungry Boar Inn.... Oooow... http://irregularwebcomic.net/912.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #913 | Me: Hmmm... it's late. I wonder what it's like outside. I'll go look out the window. / / [[Vincent van Gogh's Starry Night out the window]] / / Me: Wow, it's a starry night out there. http://irregularwebcomic.net/913.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #914 | Martian 1: We need a new plan for invading Earth. / / Martian 2: How about we fire cylindrical capsules with pilots who can build huge war tripods armed with heat rays? / / [[silent beat]] / / Martian 1: Oh? And I suppose this time we just dose them up on vitamin C first? http://irregularwebcomic.net/914.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #915 | Spanners: We have to fire Paris' body into a star. It's the only way to safely dispose of the parasites in it. / / Serron: Man. There's no coming back from that. Poor Paris. We didn't get along all that well, but I'll miss her... / / Iki Piki: Hey! What about those clone backups Spanners mentioned when we were in cyberspace? / / Serron: Shhhhh!!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/915.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #916 | Minnesota Jones: If we fly to Kiev, we can still intercept Dr Smith. To the airport! / / Prof. Jones: Oooh. There's a good view of Kiev's Saint Sophia Cathedral and Mariyinsky Palace from the air. / / Monty: Isn't it a bit difficult to see them out of a tiny plane window? / / Prof. Jones: Not if ukraine your neck. http://irregularwebcomic.net/916.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #917 | Long Tom: [[on a rowboat, approaching the barge]] Arrr! Avast, ye barge lubbers! Prepare to be boarded! / Lambert: Barge pirates! Kyros! Fireball them! / / Kyros: Remember when I said that travel by water weakens my command of fire magic? / Lambert: Oh, yeah, sorry. / / Kyros: Actually, I didn't mean to imply I couldn't cast spells. All it does is affect my accuracy a tiny bit. / / Lambert: Draak, it's up to you to save us. http://irregularwebcomic.net/917.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #918 | Charity Collector Guy: Let's see. Worthy cause. Non-profit. Okay, I'll do it! / / Head Death: EXCELLENT. / / Charity Collector Guy: What's my first assignment? / / Head Death: THERE SHOULD BE AN INSANELY OVERPOWERED FIREBALL GOING OFF VERY SOON NOW... http://irregularwebcomic.net/918.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #919 | Martian 2: Dang. That Earthling Mars rover is still wandering around out here. It's been what, nearly a year now? / / Martian 3: It's spotted us! Quick! Pretend to be a rock formation! / / [[Rover approaches "hiding" Martians]] / / [sound]: Griiiind!!! (rover uses rock abrasion tool on Martian]] / Martian 2: Oww!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/919.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #920 | Yoda: When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not. Hmm? Soon will I rest. Yes, forever sleep. Earned it, I have. / / Luke: Master Yoda, you can't die. / / [[five small panels showing Yoda resolutely not vanishing]] / / Yoda: Sucks this does. Apparently right you are. http://irregularwebcomic.net/920.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #921 | [caption]: ==Mythbusters== Giant frog! / / Jamie: Today we're testing the myth that choking on a giant frog is fatal. For this, we need a giant frog and someone with a big mouth. / / Jamie: Adam! Bring on the giant frog! [[Adam drags in a giant frog with chains]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/921.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #922 | [[scene: the Death picket line]] / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Thanks for helping us out, Choking. I'm glad we can settle our differences for this cause. United we stand! / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: Er, sure, Fireballs. Look, would you mind my spot in the picket line for a bit? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Sure. Anything for a comrade in arms! Solidarity will prevail over any opposition! We shall overcome!! / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: Thanks. I just have some business... er... I mean... non-business-related personal matters to attend to... / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: No worries! http://irregularwebcomic.net/922.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #923 | [[scene: an airport mechanical workshop]] / Monty: Can you fly us to Kiev? / Pilot: There's a snowstorm up there. Too dangerous. / / Monty: What are you? Chicken? / Pilot: What? How dare you! / Monty: Too chicken for Kiev? / / Pilot: Chicken for Kiev?! I'll show you! I'll serve it up on a plate! Follow me! / / Prof. Jones: [[standing with glazed eyes as others walk off]] Mmmm... http://irregularwebcomic.net/923.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #924 | Spanners: For clone backups to effectively replace an individual, they require a recent mind download, which we don't have for Paris. / / Iki Piki: You mean...? / / Spanners: We could recreate her physical body, but she'd be an empty shell with no personality or memories of us. / / Serron: So... What's the down side to this? http://irregularwebcomic.net/924.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #925 | [[huge fireball engulfs the entire scene]] / [sound]: Fwackoom! / / [[dead pirates lie on the barge]] / Mordekai: Hey! The pirates are all dead. And we're all untouched. And the barge isn't even singed. / / Mordekai: I thought you said travel by water affects the accuracy of your fire magic? / / Kyros: Have you ever known me to hit exactly what I wanted and nothing else before? http://irregularwebcomic.net/925.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #926 | [[on the Death picket line]] / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Say, where's the new guy, who took over Living For Over 900 Years? / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: [[distinguished by the fine top hat he is wearing]] 'e's scarpered, guv. / / [[silent beat]] / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Why do you have a cockney accent when you're wearing an accoutrement of the aristocracy? / / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: 'aven'choo 'eard? The class system's dead, guv. http://irregularwebcomic.net/926.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #927 | Adam: [[close up shot]] Well Jamie, I've stuffed that entire giant frog down my throat and I don't feel any adverse effects at all. / / Adam: [[camera pulls back slightly]] I'd say this choking on a giant frog myth is well and truly busted. / / Adam: [[camera pulls right back to show a tiny Adam standing in the middle of a vast empty plane]] Jamie? / / [[Death of Choking On A Giant Frog appears]] / Adam: Oh. I guess that makes it "plausible". / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: TRY "CONFIRMED". http://irregularwebcomic.net/927.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #928 | Death of Living For Over 900 Years: OKAY, I'M HERE. SORRY I'M LATE. SOME TROUBLE AT THE OFFICE. YOU KNOW HOW IT IS. / / Yoda: Too late you are! Decided not to die yet, I have. / / Luke: Ben? / Death of Living For Over 900 Years: DO I LOOK LIKE BEN, YOU DOLT? / / Luke: You've had years to decay since you died! I dunno how this Force ghost stuff works! http://irregularwebcomic.net/928.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #929 | [[on the infinite featureless plane of Death]] / Long Tom: Arrr! Who be ye? / / Charity Collector Guy: I'm filling in for the regular personification of Death. / / Long Tom: But ye nay be havin' a skull, nor crossbones! Ye be belittlin' the whole piratin' experience! It be a disgrace! / / Long Tom: We be rather dead than collected by the likes o' ye! / Wendy: Um... cap'n... http://irregularwebcomic.net/929.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #930 | [[red dotted line on map showing route from Athens to Kiev]] / / Monty: Can't you make this flying heap go any faster? / Pilot: I'm redlining it! http://irregularwebcomic.net/930.html |
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