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| Irregular Webcomic! #841 | [[scene: A mighty river. The fantasy party stand on the bank, admiring the view.]] / Alvissa: Behold the mighty Elusian River! / Lambert: We need to cross this? Look how wide it is! / / Draak: My race call it Uk' Hai A' Mal Akh' Mor Dh'uk Har K'al Glo' Dhan U' K'ak Brak. / / Alvissa: Oooh. So poetic. What does it mean? "Grand Majestic Rolling River of Immense Breadth" or something like that? / / Draak: It mean "man who row sole boat from this side to that side charge lot of gold". http://irregularwebcomic.net/841.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #842 | [[scene: The new Death Star, under construction.]] / Moff Jerjerrod: I assure you, Lord Vader, my men are working as fast as they can. The Emperor asks the impossible. I need more men. / / Vader: Then perhaps you can tell him when he arrives. / Moff Jerjerrod: The emperor's coming here? We shall double our efforts! / / Vader: Double? So now you'll have them working twice as hard as they possibly can? / / Moff Jerjerrod: If we can mount a successful planetary invasion in ridiculously top-heavy vehicles with legs, we can do anything, Lord Vader! http://irregularwebcomic.net/842.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #843 | GM: You do realise you're having this discussion with a slavering alien monster about to attack and eat you? / / Serron: [[with the xenomorph still lurkng behind him]] Oh... right... yeah... / / [sound]: [[Serron turns and fires a blaster at the alien]] BLAM!!! [[the alien collapses in a pool of green blood]] / / Serron: [[calmly]] NPCs never seem to take full advantage of attacks of opportunity. / Spanners: Indeed. http://irregularwebcomic.net/843.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #844 | [[Me thinking in front of the computer]] / / [[Me thinking even harder]] / / Me: I hate it when I write myself into a corner. / / [[scene change: night outside Will's house]] / Ophelia: So how do we get in to Will's house? / Mercutio: Oh. Hadn't thought of that... http://irregularwebcomic.net/844.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #845 | [[scene: night at the Parthenon]] / Monty: Hmmm. It's after 2 o'clock and Dr Smith still isn't here. / / Monty: You know what this means, don't you dad? / / Prof. Jones: Ha! She stood you up! http://irregularwebcomic.net/845.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #846 | [[scene: the pirate ship, in the open ocean]] / Sailor: [[groggily waking up, lying on the deck]] Oh, my head... Whu- what happened? Where am I? / / Sailor: [[looking around]] I'm on a ship? How did I get here? / / Wendy: We be slippin' somethin' into ye grog in that bar in Tortuga. Ye be a part o' the crew now! / / Sailor: Wow. What a slick operation. I'm impressed! http://irregularwebcomic.net/846.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #847 | Terry: We found this note implicating Steve in the deaths of a crocodile's family members, on your letterhead. If you didn't write it, who did? [[in the background, Steve picks up a snake]] / / Jane Goodall: Hmmm. It'd have to be someone capable of acquiring that stationery from my office without me noticing. [[in the background, the snake rears to attack]] / / Jane Goodall: Someone with unusual and uncanny command of the very geometry of spacetime... [[in the background, Steve wrestles the snake to the ground]] / / [[scene change: a horrible non-Euclidean dimension]] / Cthulhu [typing]: ... and then he turned your mother into a pair of shoes... http://irregularwebcomic.net/847.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #848 | Alvissa: [[on the bank of the might Elusian River]] Actually, we don't need to cross the river. We're travelling upstream. / / Alvissa: A culture of barge people ply their wares up and down the river. We should be able to flag down a barge and travel upriver with them. / / Mordekai: Well until we see one, let's walk upstream along the bank so we're still making progress. / / Lambert: That makes sense. How fast do these barges travel, anyway? / Alvissa: About walking pace. / Mordekai: Perfect! http://irregularwebcomic.net/848.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #849 | [[scene: A picket line of Deaths stand blocking access across the infinite featureless plane of Death]] / [picket line slogan on banner]: PAY AND WE SHALL REAP / [picket line slogan on banner]: The Wages of Death are SINFULLY LOW / [picket line slogan on banner]: Two wrongs don't make A RITE / [picket line slogan on banner]: HELL, NO, NO-ONE WILL GO! http://irregularwebcomic.net/849.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #850 | Iki Piki: What should we do about Paris' body and the alien larvae feasting on her remains? / / Serron: Flush her out the airlock! / / Spanners: Your compassion for our fallen comrade astounds me. / / Serron: Hey, we can play Amazing Grace while we do it. Will that help? http://irregularwebcomic.net/850.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #851 | Monty: It's worse than that, dad. Dr Smith tricked us into waiting here in Athens while she races to Moscow with the orichalcum! / / Monty: This is the worst possible thing that could have happened! / / Monty: Nothing could make this situation any more hopeless! / / Minnesota Jones: [[tapping Prof. Jones on the shoulder]] Uh, boys... [[Haken and Erwin are pointing guns at them]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/851.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #852 | Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: Finance Minister, the new polling procedures are in place. Citizens can now vote via the Internet. / / Nigerian Finance Minister: Good! We are bringing the people of Nigeria into the 21st century! / / Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: But how will we encourage them to use it? / Nigerian Finance Minister: We add value by giving them more votes! / / Nigerian Finance Minister: One vote for each dollar they send to us by PayPal! http://irregularwebcomic.net/852.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #853 | Kyros: [[on the bank of the mighty Elusian River]] There's just one problem. / Draak: What that? / / Kyros: If I travel by water, my command of fire magic weakens. / / Mordekai: What are we waiting for?! / Alvissa: That's a problem? / Lambert: Let's go! / Draak: Draak like! http://irregularwebcomic.net/853.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #854 | [[scene: night outside Will's house]] / Mercutio: We could hack our way in to Will's house. / / Ophelia: Mercutio, you can hack into computers, but you can't hack into houses. Honestly... / / Mercutio: Oh yeah? [[holds up an axe]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/854.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #855 | Terry: Well, I'm glad we cleared that up, Jane. We'll be on our way. [[in the background, Steve is lying motionless on the ground with the snake on him]] / Terry: Steve? [[Steve is motionless]] Steve! Oh no! [[the snake crawls away]] / Terry: That's a red mamba! The 301st most venomous snake in the world! [[Steve still hasn't moved]] / Jane Goodall: 301st? That can't be too bad then. / Terry: The top 300 all live in Australia. / Jane Goodall: Oh. http://irregularwebcomic.net/855.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #856 | Haken: So, Herr Doktor Jones, we meet again. / / Haken: [[brandishing his hook]] And this time die glove is on die other hand! / / Monty: You must go through a lot of gloves... / / Erwin: You mean "Die shoe is on die other foot", Herr Kolonel. / Haken: Ach! Nazi science sneers at English cliches! http://irregularwebcomic.net/856.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #857 | Iki Piki: So where is Paris' body? / / Spanners: The computer's detecting infrared signals in Serron's cabin. Looks like the alien parasites are about to hatch! / / Serron: Well that settles it, then. / Iki Piki: We need to dispose of her body quickly? / / Serron: No, I'm definitely getting her old cabin! http://irregularwebcomic.net/857.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #858 | [[scene: the picket line of Deaths]] / Head Death: [[walking along the line, stopping at Fireballs]] My my... Quite the little show of support you have going on here, Fate Worse Than Death... / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: That's right. Until our demands are met, nobody's souls are getting collected! / / Head Death: That's what you think! I'm hiring a bunch of guys to do the reaping while you're all here standing around! / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: You... you're hiring scabs?! / Head Death: Lesions, actually. The Plagues haven't had much to do in the past century or so. http://irregularwebcomic.net/858.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #859 | Julius: So what qualities are important to get elected to the Senate, Marcus? / / Marcus: Scrupulous honesty. Integrity. A desire to put the needs of Rome and its citizens ahead of yourself. Endless sacrifice and compassion. / / Julius: Wow, I didn't realise you needed to be so dedicated, virtuous, and selfless. / / Marcus: There's your first lesson, Julius. The ability to lie through your teeth convincingly. http://irregularwebcomic.net/859.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #860 | Alvissa: [[spotting a barge coming along the river]] Ah, good. Here comes a barge! Let's hail it. We'll need to negotiate a fare for passage. / / Alvissa: These barge folk can be a bit wary of strangers. Try not to look too threatening or they may not stop. / / Mordekai: But we're all carrying weapons. How can we look harmless? / / Alvissa: Hmm, true. Lambert, you go wave them down. / Lambert: Hey! http://irregularwebcomic.net/860.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #861 | Haken: So, give us die orichalcum. / Monty: We don't have it! / / Haken: We intercepted a message from Fraulein Dr Smith saying she would give it to you here tonight! / / Monty: That's not what it said... / / Minnesota Jones: She did that deliberately! She's played us all for fools! / Erwin: Funny... it worked... http://irregularwebcomic.net/861.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #862 | [[scene: the Death picket line]] / Death 1: It's the 61st anniversary of D-Day. So, we pause to remember all those who fell on this day. / Death 2: Yes, we have much to be thankful for. The sacrifices they made... / Death 3: Indeed. So everyone could receive the benefits of their courage. / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Yeah. We all made quota that day. http://irregularwebcomic.net/862.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #863 | Serron: [[returnign to the bridge]] Okay, I'm back. That unpleasant job's done. / / Iki Piki: You dragged Paris' putrefying body, writhing with alien parasites, into the airlock? / / Serron: No, I've been down to her old cabin to remove all the floral decorations and Duran Duran posters. http://irregularwebcomic.net/863.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #864 | Lambert: [[calling out to the man poling the barge along the river]] Hail, bargemaster! We seek passage upriver. / / Bargemaster: What do you offer in return? / / Kyros: We won't fry you and your barge to a crisp. / Alvissa: Kyros!! / / Kyros: Didn't you say we needed to negotiate? http://irregularwebcomic.net/864.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #865 | Terry: [[kneeling to examine Steve]] Steve! Steve! / / Terry: He's not breathing! / / Jane Goodall: I'll go call someone. / / Terry: An ambulance?! / Jane Goodall: The newspapers. / Terry: Jane!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/865.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #866 | Monty: So Dr Smith fooled us all, and is racing to Moscow with the Atlantean orichalcum. / / Monty: I guess that means you can't shoot us because now we make an agreement to cooperate to recover it, yes? / / Haken: Ha! We may be Nazis, but we are not that stupid! / / Monty: Oh? How stupid are you? / Erwin: Nice command of English, Herr Kolonel. http://irregularwebcomic.net/866.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #867 | Shakespeare: [[at Ophelia's desk]] I had the weirdest dream last night, Ophelia. / Ophelia: Oh?... / / Shakespeare: Yeah. There were two people outside, trying to get in the house... to hack my computer, I think... / / Shakespeare: O day and night, but this was wondrous strange! / / Ophelia: There are more things in heaven and earth, Will, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. / Shakespeare: Yeah, I suppose so. http://irregularwebcomic.net/867.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #868 | [[scene: the bridge of a captured Imperial shuttlecraft, being flown towards the forst moon of Endor by members of the Rebel Alliance]] / Luke: Vader's on that ship. / Han: Now don't get jittery, Luke. There are a lot of command ships. / / Han: Keep your distance though, Chewie, but don't look like you're trying to keep your distance. / / Chewbacca: Roawrrr? / Han: I don't know... Fly casual. / / Luke: He's still not wearing any pants... how much more casual can he get?! http://irregularwebcomic.net/868.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #869 | Julius: [[gesturing at the impressive round building in the background]] Behold, the Flavian Amphitheatre! One of the new wonders of the world! / / Marcus: Bah, this gladiator kick is just a fad. / / Marcus: Trust me, Julius, in ten years nobody will even remember this building was ever here. http://irregularwebcomic.net/869.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #870 | [[scene: It's still night at the Parthenon. The Joneses are being covered by Haken and Erwin with guns.]] / Monty: Don't worry, dad, grandad. / / Monty: This is where we discover Sallah escaped the labyrinth on Santorini and is here to save the day! / / Prof. Jones: You mean "night". / Monty: It's just an expression, dad! / / [[scene change: A Berlin street at night.]] / [caption]: Meanwhile in Berlin... / Sallah: [[watching a prison]] I wonder where Monty and his dad and grandad are. They should be being thrown in this prison by now. http://irregularwebcomic.net/870.html |
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