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Irregular Webcomic! #661 [caption]: Athens / / Prof. Jones: [[standing in front of some ancient reek ruins]] Mmm... Greece... Souvlaki, moussaka, spanokopita, galaktobouriko, dolmades, loukoumathes, baklava, kataifi... / / Sallah: Feta. / Prof. Jones: Oh yes, feta, lovely cheese... / / Sallah: No, if you eat all that you'll become much feta.
Irregular Webcomic! #662 [banner]: BIG SCIENCE CONVENTION [[this panel is drawn with crude stick figures]] / Scientist 1: I have this cool idea for a new type of DNA that doesn't use any adenine, thymine, guanine, or cytosine! / / Scientist 2: [[also a stick figure]] That's my idea! You stole it! / / Scientist 1: That's a totally baseless accusation! / / Me: [[sneering at computer screen]] Man, I hate webcomics by people who can't draw...
Irregular Webcomic! #663 Head Death: [[at his desk on the infinite grey plane of Death]] Living for Over 900 Years. Sit down. / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Yes, sir. / / [[scene: zooms in on Head Death's face]] / / [[scene: zooms in on Head Death's eyes]] / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Sir? / Head Death: Quiet! I'm glaring at you! / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Sorry, it's hard to tell without eyeballs, sir.
Irregular Webcomic! #664 Sallah: [[walking past some old ruins]] How are we getting from Athens to Santorini, Monty? / / Monty: It's an island, so we take a boat. / / Prof. Jones: This is going to be too slow! Haken will have gone by zeppelin! They're probably uncovering the secrets of Atlantis right now! / / [[scene change: Santorini]] / Erwin: [[to a bull statue]] Moooo...!
Irregular Webcomic! #665 Iki Piki: [[looking out the bridge windows at a glorious coloured nebula]] I don't know, I find it hard to grasp the concept of these interstellar clouds. / / Spanners: They're not that complicated. / / Iki Piki: But they're so nebulous.
 
Irregular Webcomic! #666 GM: After fleeing the village, you spend the night camped in a nearby forest clearing and wake up the next morning. / / Kyros: So, we've burnt down the tavern, alienated the entire village, been run out of town... / / Mordekai: How could things possibly get any worse? / / Lambert: Alvissa gets back today. / Mordekai: Aiiieee!! / Draak: Draak not like! / Kyros: Uh oh.
Irregular Webcomic! #667 Haken: So die Minoans were die Atlanteans? / / Ginny: No, they came here thousands of years after Atlantis was destroyed and built on the ruins. / / Haken: Ah! Like die Third Reich will build on die ruins of all who oppose it! / / Erwin: [[returning to the conversation after carefully axamining the bull statues]] Except die Fuhrer wants die Reich to be like Atlantis, not Minos...
Irregular Webcomic! #668 Shakespeare: [[at Mercutios's desk]] Mercutio, that code you've written needs to be revised for internationalisation. / / Mercutio: Oh man, why do we need to worry about that? / Ophelia: [[behind Will]] Because country matters! / / [[silent beat]] / / Shakespeare: Ahem... / Ophelia: Forget I said that...
Irregular Webcomic! #669 Me: Oooh, this is a cool webcomic. Wow, over 650 strips in the archive to read... / / [[scene: Eight tiny subpanels showing me interested, laughing, shocked, engrossed, chuckling, angered, yawning, and physically drained]] / / [caption]: 8 hours later... / Me: Man, they were great! But now I'm cramped, tired, hungry, and my eyes are watering... / / Me: Hang on... there's annotations??!!
Irregular Webcomic! #670 [[scene: a seaside dock in Athens]] / Prof. Jones: Ah, to sail the Aegean! Following in the footsteps of Odysseus, Agamemnon, Menelaus, Achilles, Jason... / / Prof. Jones: To cross the waters plied by the Argo, the fleets of Ithaca, and the traders of Phoenicia... / / Prof. Jones: You can almost smell the weight of legend and history on these myth-steeped shores. / / Sallah: I think that's the open air fish market just over there, Professor.
 
Irregular Webcomic! #671 Head Death: You arranged a death - of a Great Old One no less! And when the correct Death showed up, you let him get killed! / / Head Death: By his own assigned method!! I had to call in the Paradox Department to clean up this mess! You know how much I hate those guys! / / Head Death: This is such a severe breach, I'm transferring you out of Death, to the Fates Department. / / Head Death: You'll be A Fate Worse Than Death. / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Noooo!!!
Irregular Webcomic! #672 Lambert: Alvissa! [[as she arrives at their clearing outside the village]] / / Alvissa: Hey guys. What are you doing here in the forest outside the village? / / Alvissa: Oh, don't tell me. You got the merchant schedule and are waiting here in ambush for a rich caravan to pass by? / / Alvissa: Right? / Lambert: Er... close...
Irregular Webcomic! #673 [[scene: Inside an ancient Minoan palace on Santorini. More bull statues line the richly decorated halls.]] / Ginny: [[walking down the corridor]] The ancient architecture in this palace of the local ruler is extremely fascinating. / / Ginny: Being Minoan, the style and motifs are very much like the Great Palace of Knossos on Crete. / / Haken: Ja, ja... very interesting. But where is die Atlantean stuff? / / Ginny: Wait until you see what's under the palace. It's a-maze-ing.
Irregular Webcomic! #674 [[scene: Death Star control room]] / Tarkin: Since you are reluctant to provide us with the location of the Rebel base, I have chosen to test this station's destructive power... / / [[scene change: exterior view of peaceful blue planet]] / Tarkin: ... on your home planet of Alderaan. / / [[scene change: back in the Death Star]] / Leia: No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can't possibly... / / Tarkin: Don't give me that! This is the special DVD edition! Alderaan fires first!
Irregular Webcomic! #675 Shakespeare: [[at his desk]] Ughnnn... / Ophelia: [[looking out from her desk, concerned]] What's wrong Will, are you okay? / / Shakespeare: I have a headache after that meeting with Mr Marlowe. / / Ophelia: [[going to Will's desk]] Well that's understandable. Here, I have some headache pills. [[hands Will a small box]] / / Ophelia: Be careful, though, they're homeopathic. Take two for a normal headache, one for a severe one.
 
Irregular Webcomic! #676 [[scene: on board a small ship cutting across the Aegean, bound for Santorini]] / Monty: You know dad, we should hold some sort of memorial for grandad. / / Monty: What with escaping the Nazis in Berlin and racing to Santorini to thwart their evil plans, we haven't had time to mourn. / / Prof. Jones: Yes. Perhaps we should make some sort of offering to the wine-dark sea. / Monty: Good idea. / / Monty: I know! Pour some of your whisky overboard, dad. / Prof. Jones: What?!
Irregular Webcomic! #677 Alvissa: I spent two days travelling to get a new bow and meanwhile you guys achieved nothing? / / Kyros: Well, I think we achieved something very important. / / Alvissa: You didn't get the merchant schedules, but started a fight, burnt down the tavern, nearly got lynched, fireballed a bunch of villagers! / / Alvissa: And you barely escaped with your lives! / Kyros: Exactly!
Irregular Webcomic! #678 [[scene: a dock in Kingston, Jamaica]] / Stud: [[to a black-skinned man standing in a small boat]] Are you Quarrel? / Quarrel: Who's asking? / / Stud: James Stud, secret agent 0x0A with the British Secret Service, licensed to kill. / / Stud: On assignment investigating toppling of American rockets, suspected to be caused by radio beacon from somewhere here in Jamaica. / / Quarrel: Man, do you ever need to work on your snappy noncommittal one-liners.
Irregular Webcomic! #679 Monty: We should take a few minutes to reflect on grandad's life. / Prof. Jones: Yes... / / [[scene: camera zooms out]] / / [[scene: camera zooms out further to show the ship, tiny on the vastness of the sea. Humbling, it is.]] / / Monty: What are you thinking, dad? / Prof. Jones: I hope his will was up to date.
Irregular Webcomic! #680 Spanners: We need to upgrade the ship's computer's operating system. / Paris: Oh no! / Serron: Not again! / / Iki Piki: Does that mean...? / Spanners: Yep! I'm jacking us in. / / [[scene change: cyberspace]] / Serron: Oh man. Why do we have to do this in cyberspace? It's insanely overcomplicated! Can't we just insert a disk and have everything work? / / Spanners: Have you ever even used a computer?
 
Irregular Webcomic! #681 Lambert: All right, all right, let's take detailed stock of what goals we've actually achieved so far. / / Lambert: Break into merchant's guildhouse - no. / Mordekai: Steal merchant shipping schedules - no. / / Kyros: Ambush caravan and make off with gold - no. / Draak: Buy new sword for 'bert - no. / / Lambert: Get new bow for Alvissa - yes!! / Mordekai: See, we're making progress!
Irregular Webcomic! #682 Prof. Jones: [[on the deck of the ship bound for Santorini]] You know, some years ago on Santorini I stopped a plot by some ruthless archaeologists. / / Prof. Jones: They tried to smuggle away a pair of ancient Minoan religious statues. When I discovered their plan, I knew I had to act. / / Sallah: I can see how the potential loss of those artefacts would have weighed heavily on your mind, Professor. / / Prof. Jones: Yes. It was two Thera bulls to contemplate!
Irregular Webcomic! #683 [[scene: artillery control room in Imperial star destroyer, engaging rebel blockade runner above Tatooine]] / Imperial Officer 1: There goes another one. / / Imperial Officer 2: Hold your fire. There are no life forms. It must have short-circuited. / / Imperial Officer 1: What about droids who might be carrying the plans? And why bother saving one shot?! We've fired thousands already! / / Imperial Officer 2: Saving one shot could qualify us for the Most Efficient Battlegroup Of The Month award. / Imperial Officer 1: Oh yeah, I forgot.
Irregular Webcomic! #684 Ron: I wonder who our Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher will be this year. / / Hermoine: Remember the sequence, Ron. Evil, incompetent, good. Evil, incompetent, good. / / Harry: But Crouch and Umbridge were both evil! / / Hermione: So this year we need someone twice as incompetent as Lockhart. / Harry, Ron: Professor Steve!
Irregular Webcomic! #685 Haken: [[walking past more bull statues in the ancient Minoan palace]] But won't die Atlantean artefacts be in die sea, underwater? / / Ginny: [[stopping to answer Haken's question]] Only part of Atlantis sank. Santorini is what's left. / / Ginny: But since the Minoans built on top of it, we have to go far below ground if we hope to find any of it. / / Haken: Ah! So we are to plumb new depths? / Erwin: Nazi science is good at that!
 
Irregular Webcomic! #686 Alvissa: Uh, guys, there's one minor thing you left off that list of goals. So small I hesitate to mention it... / Lambert: Yes? / / Alvissa: Crossing the Orcrift Mountains, then descending into the Swamp of Terror, in search of the Golden Citadel... / / Alvissa: ... to seek an audience with the great Dragon Sage Ardaxar and inquire into the possible location of the missing Ruby of Dwarven Might... / / Alvissa: ... from the ancient and shattered arcane Crown of Power, then returning to claim our reward from the Duke. / Lambert: Oh, that.
Irregular Webcomic! #687 Shakespeare: [[at Mercutio's desk]] Mercutio, do you have a minute? / / Mercutio: Just a second, Will. I'm refactoring some of my code. / / Shakespeare: What does that mean? / / Mercutio: It means I'm rewriting it the way it should have been written in the first place, but it sounds cooler.
Irregular Webcomic! #688 Monty: Here we are. Santorini! [[the ship slips majestically into the tiny island harbour]] / / Prof. Jones: Yes. We have to be careful. Dr Smith and the Nazis are well ahead of us. / / Prof. Jones: Who knows what dreadful sort of nasty reception awaits us on these docks... / / Minnesota Jones: [[standing on the dock as the ship pulls alongside]] Well you boys certainly took your sweet time! / Monty: Grandad! / Prof. Jones: Pop!
Irregular Webcomic! #689 [sound]: Knock! Knock! / / Charity Collector Guy: I'm collecting for the Fund to Raise Money for Severely Underfunded Charities. / / Steve: Crikey! How much do you need? And where's your collecting tin? / / Charity Collector Guy: If we could afford a tin, we'd have already made our target.
Irregular Webcomic! #690 Lambert: Did I ever tell you about my uncle Bilbert? He got caught once stealing a ring. / / Lambert: They locked him up for a while, but as soon as he was released he stole some precious stones. He went to prison again. / / Lambert: Once out, he pilfered a necklace. Prison, released, and then he lifted some diamond earrings. He couldn't help himself. / / Alvissa: You don't mean... / Lambert: Yeah. He was a hobbit-jewel offender.
 

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