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| Irregular Webcomic! #571 | Head Death: [[enumerating]] ... the radio officer, Erwin, Doctor Monty Jones, Professor North Dakota Jones, and three members of the ground crew. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Uh... I'll just go back for them, shall I? / / Head Death: Oh I don't think so. / / Haken: [[pointing his hook at the Head Death]] This sounds like you could use some reliable Nazi organisation! http://irregularwebcomic.net/571.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #572 | [[scene: still in front of the blacksmith's shop]] / Kyros: So where are we going to find a rich merchant caravan to rob? / Alvissa: This is stupid! / / Mordekai: The Merchants' Guildhouse will have records of regular shipments and details of cargoes. / / Kyros: But we can't get access to those. / Alvissa: Nice to hear some sense, finally. / / Mordekai: We can break in! / Draak: Draak help! / Alvissa: I speak too soon... http://irregularwebcomic.net/572.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #573 | Luke: [[flying his X-wing fighter]] Biggs, Wedge, let's close it up. We're going in. We're going in full throttle. / Biggs: [[over the radio]] Luke, at that speed will you be able to pull out in time? / / Luke: It'll be just like Beggar's Canyon back home. Pop the ailerons, bank into the turns... / / Biggs: [[over the radio]] Luke, you dweeb! You can't manoeuvre like that! There's no air out there! http://irregularwebcomic.net/573.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #574 | Haken: So... die Joneses should be dead too, but they are not, ja? / / Head Death: That about sums it up, Herr Colonel. / / Haken: This is being grossly unfair! I'm a Nazi, you know! You can't treat me worse than them! I demand they die as well! / / Head Death: I was going to suggest we simply return you to life instead. / Haken: Oh, ja, that works too. http://irregularwebcomic.net/574.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #575 | Shakespeare: [[sitting at a table in the bar, with a drink]] Thanks for getting me to drop that Nigerian Finance Ministry freelance job scam thing, Ophelia. / Ophelia: No problem, Will. [[takes a sip of her own drink]] / / Shakespeare: Now I can get back to more important things. Things that will have a better chance of making money for me. / / Ophelia: That's good to hear. So have you got any ideas for the productivity meeting? / / Shakespeare: Oh, I meant writing my Harry Potter fan-fic. http://irregularwebcomic.net/575.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #576 | [[scene: the blacksmith's shop, yadda yadda yadda]] / Lambert: We'll need to steal more than 2000 gold pieces for my new sword. Alvissa could use a new bow... / / Alvissa: Er, no, it's okay. Really. I can carve one out of wood while we're travelling. / / Lambert: You can't carve a bow! / / Alvissa: I'm an elf, you little twerp! http://irregularwebcomic.net/576.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #577 | Head Death: Okay Fireballs, we're going to have to send Colonel Haken back. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: What?! You can't do that! / / Head Death: We're a professional service, you know. We have client satisfaction to think of. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Satisfaction?! He's dead! http://irregularwebcomic.net/577.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #578 | Hermione: No, Professor Dumbledore! It's Cthulhu! I read about him in Unaussprechlichen Kulten. / / Dumbledore: Miss Granger, that's a very dangerous book from the Highly Restricted Section of the library... / / Hermione: I wouldn't talk, Professor. Exactly who hired this new Professor Steve? / / Dumbledore: Has anyone ever told you that you're one devious little witch? http://irregularwebcomic.net/578.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #579 | [[scene: Pleydell-Smith's office in Kingston, Jamaica]] / Stud: So Strangways was last seen alive at your bridge game at the Queen's Club? Who else played? / / Pleydell-Smith: Professor Dent, a metallurgist who runs a test laboratory, respected, clean bill. Potter, old general, ex Indian Army, been here for ages. / / Stud: Case solved. It was Potter! / Pleydell-Smith: But he has a gammy leg, and we were with him the whole time! / / Stud: Er... Dent then? / Pleydell-Smith: Perhaps you'd better meet them first... http://irregularwebcomic.net/579.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #580 | Nazi 1: [[emerging from combing the zeppeling wreckage]] Herr Erwin! We have found another survivor! / / Erwin: [[with Monty and Prof. Jones]] Who is it?! / Nazi 1: Herr Kolonel Haken! / / Monty: Oh. That's bad luck for us, I suppose. / / Erwin: Ja. And there goes my chance for a promotion too. http://irregularwebcomic.net/580.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #581 | [[scene: blacksmith's shop in the background]] / Mordekai: Lambert's right, you know. If we're going on a quest, you really should be prepared. You need a new bow. / / Alvissa: *sigh* Okay, I suppose so. But I have the money to pay for it. I don't need to rob anyone. / / Alvissa: Just point me at the nearest bowyer. / / Kyros: That'd be in the next town, 30 miles east of here. / Alvissa: But our quest leads west! http://irregularwebcomic.net/581.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #582 | [sound]: Knock! Knock! / / Terry: Yes? / Plumber: You called a plumber? / / Terry: You said you'd be here last Thursday! I fixed the stupid leak myself! Where were you then?! Why are you here now?! / / [[scene chage: reality]] / Me: [[angrily checking watch]] Where the hell is that bloody plumber? http://irregularwebcomic.net/582.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #583 | [[scene: Hitler's brain's chamber in Berlin]] / Haken: So, mein Fuhrer, we have captured Herr Doktor and Herr Professor Jones! They have been thrown in prison! / / Haken: Die mission to Venezuela was a resounding success! / / Hitler's Brain: Excellent! So die dinosaurs are now safely being unloaded from die Graf Zeppelin? / / Haken: Die mission to Venezuela was a qualified success! http://irregularwebcomic.net/583.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #584 | Head Death: It is your impatience that has undone you again, Fireballs. You raced back with one soul when many more awaited. / / Head Death: As I foreshadowed last time, I am forced to demote to you to Death of Living For Over 900 Years, in order... / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: This is unfair! You wanted to be fair to Colonel Haken! What about fair to me?! / / Head Death: ... to teach you patience. / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Oh. Not a good start, I presume? http://irregularwebcomic.net/584.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #585 | GM: You do realise you have an actual quest to go on? All this mucking around is wasting time! / / Alvissa: [[still hanging around in front of the blacksmith's shop]] He's right. We should help this adventure run more smoothly. Let's get the preliminary stuff done quickly. / / Alvissa: What do you think would be the best way to do that? / Lambert: Let's split up! / / GM: [[banging head on table]] Noooooooo!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/585.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #586 | [[scene: a prison cell in Berlin]] / Monty: So, dad. Pop is dead. And here we are, stuck in a cell in Berlin again, surrounded by the Nazi army. / / Prof. Jones: Things aren't quite as bad as they seem, Junior. / / Monty: Oh, you see some good news in all this? / / Prof. Jones: I just remembered, I lent my hip flask to Sallah, not Pop. So it wasn't destroyed after all! http://irregularwebcomic.net/586.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #587 | Dumbledore: [[outdoors, pointing his wand at Cthulhu]] Banisho Cthulhu! [[Cthulhu vanishes]] / / Steve: Crikey, Dumbles! What'd yeh go and do that for? I 'ad 'im under control! / / Dumbledore: He had eaten three Ravenclaws... I hardly call that under control. / / Harry: [[to Steve]] Yeah, I said Slytherins! http://irregularwebcomic.net/587.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #588 | Pleydell-Smith: Shall I bring them in for questioning? / Stud: Good lord, no. I want to meet them socially. / / Pleydell-Smith: You can join our bridge game tonight. Do you know how to play? / / Stud: I'm sure I can pick it up quickly. Ñ always says I'd make a good dummy. / / Pleydell-Smith: You're sure he was talking about bridge? http://irregularwebcomic.net/588.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #589 | [[scene:Berlin prison cell]] / Prof. Jones: Junior, I hate to tell you this, but events have taken a bizarre twist. / / Monty: What is it dad? Do you think they'll torture us? Starve us? Drive us mad? / / Monty: Is there a steady and infuriating drip of water that you can't get out of your head? Are they playing mind games on us?! / / Prof. Jones: [[pointing to the next cell]] There's a woman in the next cell! http://irregularwebcomic.net/589.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #590 | [[scene: ... you guessed it...]] / Lambert: Alvissa, since you're going to the next town for a new bow, can you pick up some pipeweed for me? / / Lambert: There's a hobbit village not far away. We all grow tons of it on nearby land. We just can't stop... it's like a compulsion... / / Alvissa: Please don't tell me it's hobbit-farming. / / Lambert: Hey! Stop stealing my jokes! You're not supposed to be the thief! / Mordekai: You mean the "lovable rogue". http://irregularwebcomic.net/590.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #591 | Paris: [[checking navigation]] Uh oh... / Serron: What is it? / / Paris: The ship is running into a vast cloud of cometary nuclei and rocky fragments surrounding this solar system. / / Spanners: Yes, they'll be the left over remnants of planetary formation, orbiting at vast distances from the sun. / / Spanners: Brace yourselves! This is going to Oort! http://irregularwebcomic.net/591.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #592 | [[scene: Berlin prison cell. We can see a woman with an orange ponytail dressed in a flight jacket and pants in the cell next to the Joneses.]] / Monty: Don't worry, we'll get out of here, Miss... / Ginny: Doctor, actually. I have a Ph.D. in archaeology. / / Monty: But... that's amazing! / Ginny: What's so amazing about that? Women can do anything men can! / / Ginny: [[pointing accusingly at Monty]] It's sexist pigs like you that are holding back progress, and are responsible for things like Nazi policies. / / Prof. Jones: Junior! This is no time to form romantic liaisons! / Monty: If you think that was forming, dad, you need to get out more. http://irregularwebcomic.net/592.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #593 | Ophelia: [[at the table in the bar]] That was a nice lunch. Thanks for sharing it with me, Will. Now, we'd better get back to the office. / / Shakespeare: [[drinking]] Yeah. So, where's this productivity meeting going to be? / / Ophelia: The board room. / / Shakespeare: "Bored" room? That definitely doesn't bode well... http://irregularwebcomic.net/593.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #594 | Lambert: Alvissa's gone to buy her bow. She'll be back in two days. / / Mordekai: So we have two days to break into the Merchant's Guildhouse and get a cargo schedule? / Lambert: Yep. / / Kyros: We'd better make the best use of the time that we can, then. / / Lambert: Back to the tavern! / Mordekai: Yeah! / Kyros: More ale! / Draak: Draak like! http://irregularwebcomic.net/594.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #595 | Prof. Jones: Pleased to meet you. I'm Professor North Dakota Jones and this is my son, Doctor Monty Jones. / / Prof. Jones: We're both archaeologists too. So, may I ask your name? / / Ginny: It's Smith. Doctor Ginny Smith. / / Prof. Jones: [[excited]] I've read your papers on Atlantis! Great work! / Monty: [[to himself]] Oh lord, another nutcase... http://irregularwebcomic.net/595.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #596 | [[scene: outside Hogwarts]] / Dumbledore: I'm afraid, Professor Steve, I'm going to have to let you go. / / Steve: Crikey! I haven't shown these kids half the critters I planned to! / / Dumbledore: Leave the list with me and I'll make sure the next Care of Magical Creatures teacher covers them. / / Steve: Okay... well, there's one more species of Australian croc, two from Africa, some Asian crocs, and two American. Then there's alligators... http://irregularwebcomic.net/596.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #597 | Stud: So, bridge foursome later. Can you take me to Strangways' place now? / Pleydell-Smith: Certainly. / / [[scene change: Strangways' cottage. It is a mess, with filing drawers open, furniture overturned, and a big blood stain on the floor.]] / Pleydell-Smith: We left it how we found it. The blood matches his secretary's type. / / Stud: Hmmm... nosebleed? / Pleydell-Smith: She was abducted! Probably killed! / / Stud: Hey, who's the secret agent here? I'm supposed to be making the deductions. http://irregularwebcomic.net/597.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #598 | Prof. Jones: So, Dr Smith, why are you here in a cell in Berlin? / / Ginny: Hitler's interested in the occult powers of the ancient Atlanteans. The mystic metal orichalcum could be used for indestructible Nazi war machines. / / Ginny: He asked me to help find the lost kingdom and sources of their wealth and power, but I refused. / / Monty: Ah, well at least you have some morals. / Ginny: He didn't offer me enough money. http://irregularwebcomic.net/598.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #599 | Alvissa: [[giving her horse a break from being ridden]] I can't believe I've travelled 30 miles in the opposite direction to our quest. / / Alvissa: Still, leaving the others for a couple of days has given me a nice break. / / Alvissa: It's let me reflect on my experiences with the arty and see how it's affected my growth and development as a person. / / Alvissa: Yes, it's nice to get in touch with my inner elf. http://irregularwebcomic.net/599.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #600 | [[scene: On board the Millennium Falcon. Chewbacca and the droids are playing holographic chess in the background.]] / Luke: You don't believe in the Force, do you? / Han: Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. / / Han: I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. / / Obi-Wan: Captain Solo, how old are you? / Han: Late 30s. Why? / / Obi-Wan: You don't remember 20 years ago, how the Jedi used the Force to keep peace across the entire galaxy, the Clone Wars, and the rise of the Dark Side? http://irregularwebcomic.net/600.html |
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