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| Irregular Webcomic! #31 | Me: [[staring at computer again]] Hmmm... hungry. / / Me: Must be healthy. Need something with all five major food groups. / / Me: Eureka!! / / Me: [[still at the computer, now eating a big slice of greasy pizza]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/31.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #32 | Monty: Good morning. My name is Dr. Montana Jones, and I'll be your archaeology lecturer for this semester. / / Monty: Are there any questions? Yes? / / Student: Why are you carrying a bullwhip? / / Monty: Class discipline. http://irregularwebcomic.net/32.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #33 | Iki Piki: What shall we do with the prisoner? / / Spanners: Kill him! / / Paris: You can't kill him in cold blood! / / Spanners: I'm an insect! http://irregularwebcomic.net/33.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #34 | Me: Hmmmm. Lots of cloned animals are dying lately. / / Me: Must be the work of a copycat killer. / / Me: [[gives the reader a look]] / / Me: [[rolls eyes]] Oh, that was baa-aaa-d. http://irregularwebcomic.net/34.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #35 | GM: You fire two guns at once? Okay, -4 to hit with each one. / / Serron: Hang on. I know from personal experience that I can fire two guns with no loss of accuracy. / / GM: Oh? What experience is that? / / Serron: Nintendo and Playstation. http://irregularwebcomic.net/35.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #36 | Lambert: Hail, barkeep! Four ales! / Barkeep: Be warned, friends. Dark elves prowl the nearby woods at night. / / Lambert: Hmm... thanks... What's your name? / / GM: Uh... Fred. / / Mordekai: No assigned name. He can't be an important NPC. / Lambert: Mm-hmmm. http://irregularwebcomic.net/36.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #37 | Kyros: So, Alvissa, what's the basis of elven philosophy? / / Alvissa: As an ancient elven philosopher once said: "God does not play dice with the universe." / / Kyros: *snort* How naive. / / Kyros: Not only does God play dice, sometimes he ignores the result and just says it worked. http://irregularwebcomic.net/37.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #38 | Me: Oh cool. Scooby Doo. / / TV: [[Scooby-Doo and Scrappy Doo show]] / Me: Awww crap!!! / / Me: [[incredulous look]] Scooby, sure. But a whole race of talking Great Danes? / / Me: Something is rotten in the State of Denmark. http://irregularwebcomic.net/38.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #39 | Kyros: So, Alvissa, what gods do the elves worship? / / Alvissa: Ancient elven philosophy speaks of but one god. / / Mordekai: Oh, that's ridiculous! Everyone knows there are many gods! / Kyros: Yes, indeed! / Alvissa: I beg to differ. / / GM: Either way, there'll be some serious smiting if you don't get on and explore this dungeon! http://irregularwebcomic.net/39.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #40 | Coach: Okay guys, this is it. The World Cup Final! / / Coach: Keep an eye on their centre. He's big and mean, and he plays dirty. / / Coach: If you get in his way, he'll eat you alive! / / Allosaurus: RAAARRRHH!!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/40.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #41 | Kyros: So, Alvissa, who are the great names in elven philosophy? / / Alvissa: Notable ancient elven philosophers include Goldenleaf Lirandel, Greenfern Elladon, Elwyn Quessedil, Celebrithor... / / GM: Aaaargh! That's enough!!! Smite, smite, smite! / / Kyros: I think someone's got a god complex... http://irregularwebcomic.net/41.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #42 | GM: One more word about elven philosophy and I'll dock experience points. / / Kyros: Hey, this is character development! It's good roleplaying! / / GM: Normally, yes... / / GM: But you're in the middle of a combat. [[Shows party surrounded by warriors]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/42.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #43 | [[scene: inside an elevator looking out at the stars]] / Spanners: The Space Elevator! A cable stretching from the satellite in stationary orbit to the ground. / / [[scene: large orbital station above a planet]] / Spanners: You simply ride an elevator car into orbit! The trip takes 48 hours. / / [[scene: inside elevator]] / Spanners: It's a marvel of modern engineering! / / [[music: The Girl from Ipanema]] / Iki Piki: Be more of a marvel if we didn't have to listen to elevator muzak for two straight days. http://irregularwebcomic.net/43.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #44 | Me: Need some fake Latin for a comic. Let's try IRC. / / IRC: * Now talking in http://irregularwebcomic.net/44.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #45 | Steve: Crikey! A gorgeous specimen of Albertosaurus olseni, a late cretaceous theropod from Mongolia! / / Steve: These critters grow up to 3 metres tall. / / Terry: I think they grow bigger than that, Steve. / / Steve: What makes you say that? / Terry: [[points to large Albertosaurus behind Steve, about to bite his head off]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/45.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #46 | Haken: The Ark of the Covenant! It's a radio for speaking to God! With this, Hitler's armies will be unstoppable! / / Monty: [[struggling in his ropes]] Don't open it, Haken! You're messing with powers you don't understand! / Haken: Silence, Dr. Jones! Offnen Sie es! / / Haken: Oooh! Shiny! / Erwin: Mein Gott! Dieses est wunderbar! / / Monty: Er... hello? I ordered a deus ex machina about now. http://irregularwebcomic.net/46.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #47 | Kyros: Across the Bridge of Khazad-dum! There lies the way out of the Mines of Moria! Make haste http://irregularwebcomic.net/47.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #48 | Guide: If you'll just cross this bridge, we'll begin our tour of the space station. / / Guide: [[leads them out across an extremely narrow bridge]] Just mind your step. / / Guide: Does anyone have any questions? / / Paris: [[looking over the edge of the bridge]] Why do space stations all have apparently bottomless chasms spanned by narrow bridges with no guard rails? http://irregularwebcomic.net/48.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #49 | Kyros: [[points to Elvish sign]] It reads: The Doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter. / / Alvissa: What's that mean? / Kyros: If you are a friend, say the password and the doors will open. / / Kyros: Make camp. I may need to think about this puzzle for several tedious hours. / / Lambert: Or just cast knock and we can go straight in. / Kyros: Oh. Good idea. http://irregularwebcomic.net/49.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #50 | Mordekai: I notice you often smoke pipeweed, Lambert. / Lambert: Yes. / / Mordekai: Why is that? / Lambert: Well... / / Lambert: Females of my race are often attracted to males who smoke, to marry and start families with. / / Mordekai: Ah, so it's hobbit-forming. http://irregularwebcomic.net/50.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #51 | Me: [[reading news on the web]] War in Iraq... / / Me: Nuclear threats by North Korea... / / Me: United Nations falling to pieces... / / Me: [[peers into his GURPS: Special Ops book, grinning]] This is great material for my new campaign! http://irregularwebcomic.net/51.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #52 | Operator: Mercy Hospital, hello. / / Operator: You need an ambulance sent over for your husband? Right away. What's his condition? / / Operator: Did I hear you right? A veterinary colonoscopy kit and a Tyrannosaurus? / / Operator: Is that you Terry? / Terry: How could you tell? [[in front of a Tyrannosaurus with a mouth full of Steve]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/52.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #53 | Threepio: He made a fair move. Screaming about it won't help. / Han: Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookie. / / Threepio: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid. / Han: Droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that. / / Threepio: I see. I suggest a new strategy, R2. / / Threepio: [[pulls out a laser-sword]] Let us win or I'll laser-sword your head off. http://irregularwebcomic.net/53.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #54 | Obi-Wan: Gaaah!! / Luke: Ben! Are you okay? / / Obi-Wan: I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. / / Obi-Wan: I fear something terrible has happened. / Luke: What?! / / Obi-Wan: It's given me a splitting headache. Do we have any aspirin? http://irregularwebcomic.net/54.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #55 | Luke: With the blast shield down, I can't even see. how am I supposed to fight? / / Obi-Wan: Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them. Stretch out with your feelings. / / Han: Hokey Religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid. / / Luke: Huh? [[turns to face Han and accidentally cuts his head off]] / Obi-Wan: Raise the blast shield! Raise the blast shield! http://irregularwebcomic.net/55.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #56 | Dino Boy: CAPTAIN SPATULA! THE HIPPO HAS ESCAPED AGAIN! / / Captain Spatula: TO THE WORM MOBILE!! / / Captain Spatula: DINO BOY! CREATE A DIVERSION! REFRACTIVE MAN AND I WILL FIGHT THE HIPPO! / Worm Master: WHAT ABOUT ME? / Captain Spatula: SORRY, WORM MASTER LOOKS LIKE YOUR LOYAL WORM HORDES ARE USELESS AGAIN! / / GM: [[sticking his tongue out in disgust]] These are the stupidest superhero character concepts I've ever seen. http://irregularwebcomic.net/56.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #57 | Kyros: So elven philosophers often put Descartes before the horse? / Alvissa: Sartre-nly. / / Alvissa: Making a Plato the masses is one of the Marx of elven philosophy. / / Lambert: Will you stoop the philosophy puns?! / Kyros: Why? / / Lambert: I'm Zenophobic. / Alvissa: You Kan't be serious... http://irregularwebcomic.net/57.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #58 | Vader: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. / / Motti: Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader. / / Motti: Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the Rebels' hidden fort... / / Vader: Hmmm... Actually, that's a good point. http://irregularwebcomic.net/58.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #59 | Spanner: Eureka! I've invented a devolvo-gun! / Iki Piki: Cool! What does it do? / / Spanner: It rearranges the molecular structure of a living being to show us what sort of thing it evolved from. / / Spanner: Let's try it on that parrot. / Iki Piki: Uh... / / Allosaurus: RAAARRRHH!!! / Iki Piki: Remind me to give you a lesson in Terran phylogenetics sometime... http://irregularwebcomic.net/59.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #60 | Narrator: No one would have believed, in the last years of the nineteenth century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space. / / Narrator: No one could have dreamed that we were being scrutinised as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few men even considered the possibility of life on other planets. / / Narrator: And yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this Earth with envious eyes, and slowly, and surely, they drew their plans against us. / / Martian 1: What about germs? / Martian 2: Psssh! We don't need to worry about those. http://irregularwebcomic.net/60.html |
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