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| Irregular Webcomic! #511 | Monty: [[still dangling from the rope under the zeppelin]] I could climb up this rope, if we weren't so heavy... / Prof. Jones: [[hanging just below Monty]] Sacrifice one of us to save two? It's a tough decision, but only logical, Junior. / Minnesota Jones: [[at the bottom of the rope]] What?! / / Monty: I meant sacrifice two to save one. / Prof. Jones: Now hang on a minute...! / Minnesota Jones: Heh. http://irregularwebcomic.net/511.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #512 | Vader: So you're telling me that because of orbital physics we can't get around this planet any faster to destroy the Rebel base? / / Imperial Officer: That's right, Lord Vader. / / Vader: Hmmm. Now if only we had, oh, I don't know, some sort of super weapon that could blow up the planet so it wasn't in the way? / / Imperial Officer: Oh, er... / Vader: Right. Get on it. http://irregularwebcomic.net/512.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #513 | Serron: Hey Spanners, what's that you were rubbing on to your head just then? / / Spanners: It helps me think. It's absorbed through the chitin and makes the brain run more smoothly. / / Serron: Yeah, but what is it? / / Spanners: Axon grease. http://irregularwebcomic.net/513.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #514 | Nazi 1: [[on the zeppelin bridge]] Herr Kolonel! We have found stowaways hanging off die zeppelin mooring cable! / / Haken: Ach, cut them loose! No... wait... are they trying to climb up die cable? / / Nazi 1: No... it looks like they're arguing with each other. / / Haken: What do you think, Erwin? / Erwin: Herr Doktor Jones and his father! http://irregularwebcomic.net/514.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #515 | [[scene: A fish market. Worm Master and Dino Boy are examining a large fish for sale in the background]] / Refractive Man: Nothing like a trip to the fish market for fresh seafood. / Captin Spatula: Yeah. And no supervillains. Who would even think of launching an attack here? / / GM: Aqualich! He has the power of command over dead fish! / / [[scene: Aqualich, a skeleton in regal robes weilding a magic staff, directs dead fish to flap through the air and fight our heroes, who fight back valiantly]] / Worm Master: There's no worms for me to tuna into... / Captain Spatula: What would worms be doing in a plaice like this? / Refractive Man: Stop it, you're giving me a haddock! http://irregularwebcomic.net/515.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #516 | Mordekai: So what's this quest we're supposedly going on? / / GM: Bar patrons say the Duke wants adventurers to cross the Orcrift Mountains into the Swamp of Terror and so to the Golden Citadel... / / GM: ... to inquire of the great Dragon Sage Ardaxar the possible location of the missing Ruby of Dwarven Might from the arcane Crown of Power. / / Kyros: Sounds boring. Let's not apply. / Draak: What this quest pay? http://irregularwebcomic.net/516.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #517 | Haken: Haul them up! / Nazi 1: [[pulling the dangling rope up through a cargo bay hole in the zeppelin floor]] Jawohl, Herr Kolonel! / / Haken: [[to Monty as he appears through the hole]] So, Herr Doktor Jones. We meet again. / / Monty: That line's starting to get cliched, Haken. [[as Prof. Jones climbs up into the zeppelin]] / / Haken: Well if you stopped interfering in my plans I wouldn't have to say it all the time! [[as Prof. Jones helps Minnesota Jones up]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/517.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #518 | Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: Finance Minister, this just came in from the freelance writer you hired for the Internet revenue raising project. Take a look. [[hands a sheet of paper to the Finance Minister]] / / Nigerian Finance Minister: [[reading the page]] Wow. This is ground-breaking. I'm glad we decided to hire a professional. / / Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: Yes, that's a fantastic idea he's come up with... / / Nigerian Finance Minister, Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: Lower case! http://irregularwebcomic.net/518.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #519 | Vader: I sense something... A presence... / / Vader: Commander, what happens if we blow up the planet between us and the Rebel base? / / Imperial Officer: Since Yavin is such a big gas giant, we may ignite fusion in the core and cause an explosion big enough to deastroy the Death Star. / / Vader: Hmmm. Don't fire http://irregularwebcomic.net/519.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #520 | [[scene: Zeppelin cargo bay. Monty, his father, and grandfather are tied up on chairs.]] / Nazi 1: Herr Kolonel Haken, there is a thunderstorm over die mid-Atlantic, right in our flight path. / / Haken: We cannot afford to keep die Fuhrer waiting! Stay on course! / Nazi 1: Jawohl! / / Monty: You're mad, Haken! You can't expect to fly a zeppelin through a thunderstorm without igniting the hydrogen! / / Haken: [[to Monty]] Ha! I sneer at your American science! In die Fatherland we know this gas as Wasserstoff http://irregularwebcomic.net/520.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #521 | [[scene: still in the tavern]] / Alvissa: So what's this Crown of Power? / Kyros: The god Bolkon forged it at the dawn of time to symbolise Divine Right. / / Kyros: He took some of the essence of each intelligent race and captured it in one of ten glittering Soul Jewels, with which he adorned the Crown. / / Kyros: The wisest kings wore it, until the War of Damnation scattered the Jewels to all corners of the world and the Crown was destroyed. / / Lambert: Wow, how did you get to be so smart? / Kyros: I fudged my dice rolls during character generation. http://irregularwebcomic.net/521.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #522 | Hermione: Harry! Ron! Did you hear the bad news? Hagrid's been taken away to Azkaban Prison! / / Harry: That's terrible! / Ron: Yeah! They can't do that! / / Hermione: I'm more worried about who they've got to replace him as the Care of Magical Creatures teacher. / / [[scene change: Outdoors, several students at a Care of Magic Creatures lesson watching the new teacher.]] / Steve: Crikey! This 'ere's yer standard three-'eaded demon-dog. No worries, 'e's practically 'armless! http://irregularwebcomic.net/522.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #523 | [[scene: Head Death's desk on the infinite grey plane]] / Head Death: Ah, Insanely Overpowered Fireballs. Sit down. / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Yes, sir. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: It wasn't my fault, sir! He had this mystical Force and sensed me even before I materialised! / / Head Death: Very well. I'm going to give you one last chance in this important position... / / Head Death: Zeppelin. Full of hydrogen. Sworn enemies. Guns. Dinosaurs. Thunderstorm. Don't mess it up! http://irregularwebcomic.net/523.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #524 | Screen: From: financeminister@finance.gov.ng / Screen: Our greetings come to you, our helpful friend,/ We hope that on your grace we can depend. / Screen: To share with you good fortune is our need -/ One hundred percent legal, guaranteed! - / Screen: To pay our country's debts we have a stash/ Of thirty million dollars all in cash http://irregularwebcomic.net/524.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #525 | Me: How can I really mess with my readers' minds...? / / Me: I know! I can rerun the deja-vu strip again! / / Me: Oooh! And then go back and change the original to something else and pretend it was like that all along! / / Me: George Lucas, my apologies. I underestimated your comic genius. http://irregularwebcomic.net/525.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #526 | [[scene: Zeppelin cargo bay. A huge thunderstorm crackles the sky seen through the windows with lightning.]] / Monty: [[still tied up]] Erwin! You have more sense than Colonel Haken! Untie us so we can get the zeppelin out of this storm! / / Erwin: Herr Kolonel Haken informs me die zeppelin is perfectly safe. / / Monty: What does he know about science? He's a colonel! I have a Ph.D.! / / Prof. Jones: Didn't you flunk physics and chemistry, Junior? / Monty: Dad!!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/526.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #527 | Hermione: Harry! Ron! Have you heard the news? / / Harry: Yeah, they say there's a half-blood prince here somewhere at Hogwarts. I wonder who it could be? / / [[scene change: Professor Dumbledore's office]] / Dumbledore: Nice of you to fill in for us on such short notice. Tell me something about yourself. / / Steve: Crikey! Well, me mum was a muggle croc-wrangler, but me dad was a wizard descended from Charlemagne... http://irregularwebcomic.net/527.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #528 | [[scene: In the tavern. Still.]] / Mordekai: The Duke is offering 5,000 gold pieces for the recovery of the Ruby of Dwarven Might? Is that all?! / / GM: Well, he'll also let you keep any incidental treasures you may find... / / Mordekai: Let us? How is he even going to find out? I'm certainly not telling him... guys? / / Alvissa: Uh uh. / Lambert: Not me. / Kyros: No way. / Draak: Draak know not of more loot. http://irregularwebcomic.net/528.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #529 | [[scene: Zeppelin cargo bay. The storm rages outside. Monty, hs father, and grandfather have been left alone, tied up.]] / [sound]: Rggnnrraaaakkkrhrrrkkkhhhh!! / Monty: What's that horrible noise?! The Tyrannosaur's escaped! We're all going to die! / / Prof. Jones: I don't think that's a Tyrannosaur, Junior. / / Monty: Well then, what is it, dad? / [sound]: Rggnraakkrhhkkrhhh!! / / Prof. Jones: Pop is snoring. http://irregularwebcomic.net/529.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #530 | Iki Piki: [[looking out the bridge windows to a giant ringed planet]] Okay, starting our survey of this new planetary system. / / Serron: It looks like the orbits are spaced according to some sort of geometric progression... / / GM: [[inexplicably and unreasonably excited]] I used Titius' Law to generate the orbital parameters of the planets. / / Spanners: Hmm. That doesn't Bode well. http://irregularwebcomic.net/530.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #531 | Vader: [[gesturing at Luke]] There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father. / / Luke: [[hanging on to the gantry over a huge pit with his remaining hand]] He told me enough! He told me you killed him! / / Vader: No, I am your father. / / Vader: Now, go clean your room. / Luke: Noooooo! http://irregularwebcomic.net/531.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #532 | Monty: [[with a hand free from the ropes]] Yes! I've worked a hand free! We'll soon be out of these ropes. / / Prof. Jones: So do we go to the control room and take over the zeppelin? [[as Monty unties them, Minnesota Jones remains seated, back to the camera]] / / Monty: We have no weapons http://irregularwebcomic.net/532.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #533 | Ophelia: Will, these Nigerians are scam artists! You can't work for them! / / Shakespeare: But they're paying me. Look, they sent me a cheque. / / [sound]: [[Ophelia tears the cheque in two]] Riiiiip!! / Ophelia: Don't be ridiculous, their money's no good. I'm afraid you've been had. / / [[scene change: Nigeria]] / Nigerian Finance Minister: [[checking his computer]] Hmmm... Why hasn't that writer we hired cashed the pay cheque we sent him? http://irregularwebcomic.net/533.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #534 | [[scene: The tavern. As if it would be anywhere else.]] / Alvissa: Well I think we should go on this quest. / Mordekai: Not me. / Lambert: No way. / Kyros: Uh uh. / / Alvissa: You guys are forgetting one important thing... / Mordekai: And what's that? / / Alvissa: Chicks dig guys who go on quests. Look at Orlando, and Viggo... mmm... / / Mordekai: I'm in! / Kyros: Let's do it! / Draak: Draak like! / Lambert: Hey, no-one digs Elijah! http://irregularwebcomic.net/534.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #535 | [[scene: Zeppelin cargo room. The thunderstorm still rages outside.]] / Prof. Jones: Shall we wake Pop? [[Minnesota Jones still hasn't moved since being untied]] / Monty: No, he'll be safe here. Let him sleep. / / Monty: [[walking]] Now, the cargo hold should be this way. We release the dinosaurs to distract the Nazis and take over the zeppelin. / / Prof. Jones: I really think we should try some other method of defeating the Nazis, Junior. / / Monty: What other option do we have, dad?! / Prof. Jones: Our guns are on that crate there... [[pointing at the guns lying there]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/535.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #536 | Spanners: Okay, I just need to do a least squares fit to these planetary data, calculate the correlation coefficient, ... / / Spanners: ... estimate the linear parameters, and use them to plot the projected distances of the remaining orbits. / / Spanners: Goo goo, ga ga... / / Paris: What happened?! / Iki Piki: He's regressed to his childhood. http://irregularwebcomic.net/536.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #537 | Shakespeare: [[distraught at his cheque being ripped up]] O you gods! Why do you make us love your goodly gifts, And snatch them straight away? / / Ophelia: Calm down, Will. That Nigerian cheque would have bounced anyway. Come on, forget about it. let's go have lunch. / / Shakespeare: Thou know'st that all my fortunes are at sea http://irregularwebcomic.net/537.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #538 | Nazi 1: [[in the zeppelin control room]] Herr Kolonel, die thunderstorm is over. We are approaching die African coast. / / Haken: You see, Erwin, I told you there was nothing to worry about! / / Monty: [[appearing through a door]] Hands up, Haken! [[Monty and Prof. Jones have guns trained on the Nazis]] / / Erwin: Not even die ropes we used to tie up Herr Doktor Jones and his father? http://irregularwebcomic.net/538.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #539 | [[scene: The taver... oh why do I even bother?]] / Alvissa: Okay, so we're accepting the mission from the Duke? / / Mordekai: Yeah, I guess so. / Alvissa: Good. / / Alvissa: Now comes the most difficult, strenuous, time-consuming, mentally challenging - yet stimulating - part of our long and arduous quest. / / Lambert: Shopping for new equipment! / Mordekai: Score! http://irregularwebcomic.net/539.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #540 | [[scene: Death Star control room]] / Imperial Officer: We've analysed their attack, sir, and there is a danger. Should I have your ship standing by? / / Grand Moff Tarkin: Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances! / / [speaker]: Rebel base, three minutes and closing. / / [[scene change: a tropical paradise planet]] / Imperial Officer: [[lying on a banana lounge, sipping cocktails, chatting to a woman in a swimsuit]] ... So I took Tarkin's ship for myself. After the Rebellion won, I sold it off for ten million credits, and here I am! http://irregularwebcomic.net/540.html |
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