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| Irregular Webcomic! #481 | Me: [[to the reader]] You were expecting a Monty Jones strip today, right? / / Me: You wanted to know what happens now that the Jones expedition and the Nazis have finally bumped into each other. / / Me: You may also have been long wondering why Monty's theme is titled "Cliffhangers"... / / Me: Well, now you know! http://irregularwebcomic.net/481.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #482 | [[scene: the bridge of the Millennium Falcon]] / Leia: What are you doing? You're not actually going into an asteroid field? / / Han: They'd be crazy to follow us, wouldn't they? / / Threepio: Sir, the density of asteroids in a belt is actually extremely low, and quite easy to navigate. If you're hoping to evade pursuit, you're sorely mistaken. / / Han: Never tell me the facts! http://irregularwebcomic.net/482.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #483 | [[scene: outside Government House in Kingston, Jamaica]] / Stud: [[to a police guard]] Sergeant, make sure he doesn't get away. [[indicating the dead driver in his car]] / / [[scene chage: inside the office of Governor's assistent Pleydell-Smith]] / Pleydell-Smith: Ah, Mr Stud. How are you finding Jamaica? / Stud: Someone tried to kill me on the way here. News of my arrival was leaked! / / Sergeant: [[entering room]] Mr Stud, we IDed the body. It's the husband of a woman you tried to seduce last time you were in Jamaica. / / Stud: Okay, maybe not. http://irregularwebcomic.net/483.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #484 | Haken: Hands up! We are armed! [[brandishing guns]] / / Monty: We have guns too, Haken. [[also brandishing]] / / Haken: So, it seems we have what we call in die Fatherland a Bavarian standoff. [[the two groups face off across the stream]] / / Monty: Bavarian? / Erwin: Like a Mexican standoff, but with chocolate cake. / Haken: Erwin! http://irregularwebcomic.net/484.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #485 | [[scene: overlooking Mos Eisley from a clifftop]] / Obi-Wan: Mos Eisley starship landing facility. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. / / Threepio: He obviously hasn't seen Master Luke's bedroom. / / [[scene change: Me, talking directly to the reader]] / Me: Okay, I know what all you Star Wars fans are thinking. / / Me: But you do realise that's totally irrelevant to the joke? Geez, get a life already! http://irregularwebcomic.net/485.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #486 | Pleydell-Smith: I say, haven't I met you before, in London? / / Stud: That would probably have been 0x0B, James Shaken. He bears an uncanny resemblance to me. / / Stud: But I'm 0x0A, James Stud. / / Stud: That's Stud, not Shaken. http://irregularwebcomic.net/486.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #487 | Monty: [[still facing off with the Nazis across the stream]] So, Colonel Haken, how did you get here to this remote plateau? / / Haken: By superior Nazi-engineered air transportation! / / Prof. Jones: There, you see Junior? I told you we should have chartered a flight instead of climbing this blasted plateau. / / Monty: Dad, the Luftwaffe doesn't sell zeppelin tickets. / Erwin: You climbed?! Dummkopfs! http://irregularwebcomic.net/487.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #488 | Alvissa: What's that, Lambert? [[referring to a large green vase that Lambert has with him in the tavern]] / Lambert: It's an old vase. My mother told me it's an ancient Chinese dynasty antique. / / Lambert: Although a few years ago I had it appraised and the guy said my mother probably made it herself. / / Lambert: But still, I can't bear to part with it. / / Alvissa: Why not? / Lambert: It's hobbit faux-Ming. http://irregularwebcomic.net/488.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #489 | Ophelia: Will, I think this Harry Potter fan-fic is great. You should be a writer! [[hands it back to Will, who has come to her desk to get it]] / / Shakespeare: Thanks Ophelia. http://irregularwebcomic.net/489.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #490 | Prof. Jones: Junior, why are you talking with these Nazi thugs? / / Monty: Shhh, dad! I have a plan. I'll keep them occupied, then on a count of three, we run. / / Minnesota Jones: Are all his plans this well-considered? / / Prof. Jones: It's an improvement. When we found the Grail he let the Nazis shoot me. http://irregularwebcomic.net/490.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #491 | Me [thinking]: [[eating a banana]] Well, sophisticated meta-humour appears to be too complex for my audience. / / Me [thinking]: What else can I do to amuse them? Hmm. [[tossing the banana peel over my shoulder]] / / Me [thinking]: [[thought bubble shows images of me steeping on the banana peel and slipping over]] / / Me: Oh, you'd just love that, wouldn't you? http://irregularwebcomic.net/491.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #492 | [[scene: 3 days' sail from Tortuga]] / Wendy: Cap'n! There be a Spanish galleon off the port bow! / / Long Tom: Arrr! Pieces o' eight for all! Come about fer a broadside! / Wendy: She be at long range! / / Long Tom: Gi' 'er a triple charge o' powder! / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: [[manifesting suddenly]] CAPITAL IDEA. http://irregularwebcomic.net/492.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #493 | Monty: 1... 2... 3... Run! [[Prof. Jones, Minnesota Jones, and Sallah run]] / / Haken: [[stymied by the stream between them]] Joneses! You can't escape that easily! We'll hunt you down, catch you, and throw you in a Nazi prison! Do you hear me?! / / Haken: Teufel! How are we going to explain this to die Fuhrer? / Erwin: We can cross that river when we come to it, Herr Kolonel. / / Haken: We're at die river, Erwin! http://irregularwebcomic.net/493.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #494 | Jar Jar: So Ani hassa become Darth Vader, Amidala issa dead after having twins, and Yoda issa gone into exile on Dagobah. / / Jar Jar: Issa there anything else-a we be needing to know, Master Obi-Wan, muy muy? / / Obi-Wan: Well, I'd just like to take this opportunity to say that the guy who does Irregular Webcomic! sucks. / / [[scene change: George Lucas pointing at Me]] / George Lucas: Ha! Take that! http://irregularwebcomic.net/494.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #495 | Long Tom: Arrr! Be ye Death?! / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: I BE. / / Long Tom: Be we dead? / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: AS SOON AS YE BE SETTIN' OFF THAT INSANELY OVERPOWERED POWDER. / / Long Tom: Belay that broadside! Prepare to board! / Wendy: Aye cap'n! / / Death of Being Stabbed By A Cutlass: [[manifesting]] THANKS, FIREBALLS, I OWE YOU ONE. / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: SHIVER ME TIMBERS! STABBED BY A CUTLASS! http://irregularwebcomic.net/495.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #496 | Minnesota Jones: Look, I told you there were dinosaurs here! [[pointing at a small dinosaur, about the soze of a cat]] / Prof. Jones: I was expecting them to be big and fierce, pop. / / [sound]: [[the small dinosaur gets pounced on and eaten by a carnivorous dinosaur about the size of a cow]] Crunch! Munch! Munch! / Prof. Jones: Now that's more like it! / / [sound]: [[the cow-sized dinosaur gets pounced on and torn to shreds by a Tyrannosaurus]] RAAARRHH!! Crunch! Munch! Crunch! / / Monty: Dad! Where are you going?! [[as Prof. Jones runs away]] / Prof. Jones: That Nazi prison sounds really nice about now! http://irregularwebcomic.net/496.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #497 | Shakespeare: [[at his desk]] This Harry Potter fan-fic is going nowhere. / / Shakespeare: I need a new avenue for my writing. If only I could find someone who would pay me to write. / / Shakespeare: Aha! This e-mail looks promising. / / Shakespeare [reading]: "WRITERS! LOOKING FOR A NEW OPPORTUNITY TO USE YOUR SKILLS?! WORK FOR THE NIGERIAN FINANCE MINISTRY IN INNOVATIVE REVENUE-RAISING APPLICATIONS!" http://irregularwebcomic.net/497.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #498 | Head Death: [[at his desk on the unforgiving infinite featureless plane of Death]] Ah, Insanely Overpowered Fireballs. Sit down. / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Yes, sir. / / Head Death: Now what's this I hear about you palming your work off on to Stabbed By A Cutlass? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: It wasn't my fault! That pirate changed his mind about the cannons! / / Head Death: And if you'd waited 10 seconds longer before manifesting he wouldn't have had a mind left to change... / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Oh, good point. http://irregularwebcomic.net/498.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #499 | Haken: [[walking back towards the zeppelin]] Now we have to capture die Joneses and some dinosaurs! / / Haken: Erwin! Look! Eggs! [[pointing at the amazing find, a clutch of large eggs]] This is how we can transport dinosaurs back to Berlin without risking our own lives! / / Erwin: But Herr Kolonel, they might have inferior genetics. Surely fully grown, healthy specimens would be better. / / Haken: [[picking up an egg]] Nazi science sneers at die survival of die fittest! http://irregularwebcomic.net/499.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #500 | Me: [[looking at computer]] Wow, 500 strips. / / Me: 2,000 images, 30,000 words of dialogue, multiple complex interwoven plotlines... / / Me: Death, drama, character development, high-tech gadgetry, a little comedy relief, social commentary, romance... / / Me: Damn you, Spielberg! Where's my movie offer?! http://irregularwebcomic.net/500.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #501 | Ophelia: [[at Will's desk]] Will, would you like to see the new Harry Potter movie with me tonight? I have two tickets. / / Shakespeare: I'd love to Ophelia, but I have a deadline on this freelance writing assignment... / Ophelia: Oh, okay. / / Shakespeare: [[to himself, as Ophelia walks back to her desk]] Hermione would grace mine eyes this night/ but for this damn Nigerian deadline. / / Ophelia: [[at her desk, to herself]] Oh Will, these tickets were for thy delight http://irregularwebcomic.net/501.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #502 | [[scene: Back at the Nazi encampment. Several men are corralling dinosaurs into cages.]] / Nazi 1: Ah, there you are Herr Kolonel Haken. We were wondering where you had gotten to. / / Nazi 1: Die crew has captured and secured enough dinosaurs for die Fuhrer's plans. We can leave for Berlin at your command! / / Haken: You mean to tell me you were here catching dinosaurs die whole time? / / Nazi 1: Ja, of course. Did you think we were here to sit around in die zeppelin while you did it, Herr Kolonel? http://irregularwebcomic.net/502.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #503 | Head Death: Your problem is you have no patience. Insanely overpowered fireballs, by their very nature, are urgent and ephemeral. / / Head Death: You need to learn to bide your time. Wait for the right moment before you appear. / / Head Death: Maybe I should swap you with Death of Living For Over 900 Years. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Noooo!!! He hasn't had anything to do since Methuselah! http://irregularwebcomic.net/503.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #504 | Lambert: [[to an armoured knight in the bar]] You're competing in the grand tournament? Draak was thinking of entering. / / Knight: But you must be a knight or royal man-at-arms! / Lambert: Yeah, he's training to become a knight. / / Knight: But didn't you say he's your full-time bodyguard? / Lambert: Yep. / / Knight: So how does he have the time to train? / Draak: Draak go to knight school! http://irregularwebcomic.net/504.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #505 | [[scene: inside the zeppeling control room]] / Haken: Well, we have die dinosaurs, which is what we came for. Let's go. Up ship! / Nazi 1: Jawohl, Herr Kolonel! / / Erwin: But Herr Kolonel, what about Herr Doktor Jones and his father and grandfather? / / Haken: Die Fuhrer doesn't know they were here. And he won't know... Will he, Erwin...? / / [[scene change: exterior shot showing the bottom of the zeppelin lifting off the ground]] / Monty: [[hanging on to a rope dangling from the zeppelin, with his father and grandfather on the rope below him, Sallah looking on from the ground]] Hey!! Wait for us!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/505.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #506 | [web site]: Nigerian Federal Government - Mozilla / [web site]: http://www.gov.ng/ / [web site]: OFFICIAL WEBSITE!!! FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA. PAYPAL DONATE. PRESIDENT http://irregularwebcomic.net/506.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #507 | [[scene: Death Star control room]] / Imperial Officer: Orbiting the planet at maximum velocity. The moon with the Rebel base will be in range in thirty minutes. / / Vader: We can move this thing across the galaxy faster than light and we have to wait to orbit a planet? / / Imperial Officer: To increase speed we'd need to drop our orbital altitude below the Roche limit and the Death Star will be torn to pieces by tidal forces. / / Vader: Since when did physics become important in the Empire?! http://irregularwebcomic.net/507.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #508 | Monty: [[hanging on the rope below the zeppelin, high in the air]] Hang on dad, grandad! It's a long drop! / Prof. Jones: Junior, we left Sallah behind! / / Monty: I know dad... / Prof. Jones: But this is terrible! / / Monty: He knows how to take care of himself. / Prof. Jones: I lent him my hip flask of whisky! http://irregularwebcomic.net/508.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #509 | [sound]: Knock! Knock! / / Terry: Who's there? / / Charity Collector Guy: The Charity Collector Guy. / Terry: The Charity Collector Guy who? / / Charity Collector Guy: What is this, some kind of joke? http://irregularwebcomic.net/509.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #510 | Draak: [[in the bar]] ... then thief say, "Give me two pounds." So Draak hit him. Twice. / Lambert, Kyros, Alvissa, Mordekai: Ho ho ho! / / GM: [[angrily]] Okay, I've had enough of you guys lounging around in a tavern, making unconnected smalltalk and stupid puns. / / GM: [[now with a happy look]] I want to develop an ongoing storyline for this campaign. So, you're going on a quest! / / Lambert: Uh oh. I knew we shouldn't have let the GM watch all three Lord of the Rings DVDs back to back. http://irregularwebcomic.net/510.html |
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