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| Irregular Webcomic! #361 | Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: Finance Minister, have you seen the news from the King's trial in Australia? [[handing over a newspaper]] / / Nigerian Finance Minister: [[after reading it]] We're a republic?! Then who was the previous guy who claimed to be king and demanded access to the... / / Nigerian Finance Minister: ... federal... treasury... accounts... / Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: I checked the treasury. We're broke! / / Nigerian Finance Minister: [[throwing up his hand in frustration]] What is the world coming to when you can't even trust a Nigerian with bank account details? http://irregularwebcomic.net/361.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #362 | Stud: [[after winning at baccarat]] I admire your courage, Miss...? / Sylvia Ditch: Ditch. Sylvia Ditch. I admire your luck, Mr...? / / Stud: Stud. James Stud. / / Stud: Sorry, Miss Ditch, but our inevitable romantic liaison must wait. I have to go save the world. / / Sylvia Ditch: Damn. I thought he was a spy, but it turns out he's only a conceited womaniser. http://irregularwebcomic.net/362.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #363 | Judge: I've never seen such a ridiculous case in my life. Case dismissed! / / Steve: [[leaving the court]] Crikey! All's well that end's well, eh Terry? / / Terry: Well it's good to know you're free again, Steve. / / Steve: Yeah, I feel like all me troubles are behind me now. [[such as Cthulhu, who is indeed behind him, right now]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/363.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #364 | Geltschilling: James! Where have you been? I've been searching all over London for you. / Stud: Geltschilling! What gives? / / Geltschilling: Not me, that's for sure. And don't try to seduce me with that tuxedo either. / / N: [[over the intercom]] Omit the customary byplay with 0x0A, Miss Geltschilling. James, get in here. / / Stud: I'll be there in... oh... ten minutes should do, sir. / Geltschilling: I think I'm going to be sick. http://irregularwebcomic.net/364.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #365 | Prof. Jones: [[with Monty, riding an elephant]] Junior, are you sure this is the right way? / / Monty: The guide said the temple was just through the jungle. / / [[They ride through the jungle]] / / [[They ride through the jungle some more]] / / Prof. Jones: Are you sure he meant this jungle? http://irregularwebcomic.net/365.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #366 | Geltschilling: You'd better go straight in and see N right away, James. / / Stud: You know, Geltschilling, I've often wondered but never asked... / / Stud: Why is our boss called N? / / Geltschilling: With the high turnover in the position, we ran out of regular letters back in the 1950s. http://irregularwebcomic.net/366.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #367 | Han: We've got to find a safe port around here. Well. This is interesting. Lando. / Leia: Lando system? / / Han: Lando's not a system, he's a man. Bespin. It's pretty far, but I think we can make it. / / Han: Of course, with the hyperdrive offline, we're restricted to sublight speed, so it'll take us 35 years... alone in space... / / Leia: Is this your equivalent of running out of fuel? / Han: Hey baby, it's the laws of physics. http://irregularwebcomic.net/367.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #368 | Prof. Jones: So this is the fabled Temple of Rajpur. / / Monty: [[as they both climb down from the elephant]] Yes. Who knows what strange desires possessed the ancient builders to fortify this remote location... / / Prof. Jones: I would have thought the reason was obvious, Junior. / / Monty: Why, dad? / Prof. Jones: Well, it's a jungle out there! http://irregularwebcomic.net/368.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #369 | Stud: Good evening, sir. / N: It happens to be 3am. When do you sleep, 0x0A? / Stud: Never on the firm's time, sir. / / N: Sit down. Jamaica went off the air tonight, just like that. We've checked up, and Strangways has disappeared. / / Stud: Was Strangways on something... special? / / N: Some new form of reggae beat, I think. http://irregularwebcomic.net/369.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #370 | NASA Guy 1: Well, Opportunity is performing nicely. But are we still having problems with Spirit? / / NASA Guy 2: Yeah, but don't worry. We've put one of our best men on the job. / / [[Scene change: Mars]] / Steve: Crikey! This rover's a bit stroppy! [[while attempting to pin the Mars Rover]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/370.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #371 | Monty: Uh, dad, where did you park the elephant? / / Prof. Jones: Don't worry about that. / / Monty: Why not? / / Prof. Jones: It's irrelephant. http://irregularwebcomic.net/371.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #372 | N: Geltschilling, send in the armourer from U section. Give me your gun 0x0A. / / N: Yes, I thought so. This damn Beretta again. I've told you about this before. / / N: You tell him. / U: Nice and light... in a lady's handbag. No stopping power. / / Stud: Hey, if I'm anywhere near a lady's handbag I don't want stopping! http://irregularwebcomic.net/372.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #373 | Obi-Wan: Your father's lightsabre. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. / / Obi-Wan: [[as Luke activates the lightsabre]] Not as clumsy or as random as a blaster. An elegant weapon for a more civilised time. / / [sound]: Whoom! / Luke: Yow! [[cuts his own hand off]] / / Obi-Wan: Yes, well... As long as you don't put your hand too near the blade. http://irregularwebcomic.net/373.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #374 | Me: [[starting at a LEGO piece]] / / Me: [[frowning at the LEGO piece]] / / Me: [[glaring at the LEGO piece]] / / Me: [[contemplating the LEGO piece]] / / Me: [[thinking really hard about the LEGO piece]] / / Me: [[pointing at the LEGO piece]] Writer's block. http://irregularwebcomic.net/374.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #375 | N: If you carry a 0x0 number it means you're licensed to kill, not get killed. From now on, you carry a new gun. Ü? / / U: Walther PPK. 7.65mm with a delivery like a brick through a plate glass window. / Stud: A gun? Is that all? / / Stud: No homer? Exploding keyring? Laser watch? / U: This is only your first movie. We don't have the budget for those yet. / / Stud: But I get my Aston-Martin, right? / U: A car? Ho ho ho ho...! http://irregularwebcomic.net/375.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #376 | Me: [[yelled at a LEGO block]] Curse this writer's block! / / Me: [[stare at the block]] / / Me: [[turning the block over]] / / Me: [[puts another block on the first one]] Oh well, at least it's something I can build on... http://irregularwebcomic.net/376.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #377 | Lambert: [[pointing at a detached hand on the bar of the tavern]] What's that? / Kyros: The Hand of Vecna. It's a well-known artefact. / / Kyros: You cut your own hand off and press it to the stump. It grafts itself on and grants you immense powers. / / Lambert: Cut your own hand off? Nasty! But why does it have such a boring name? / / Kyros: The "Occupational Safety Standards Violating Body Part of Vecna" just doesn't have the same ring to it. http://irregularwebcomic.net/377.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #378 | N: You leave for Kingston tonight. You'll be working with the CIA. Contact is a man named Helix Leiter. / / N: See Miss Geltschilling on your way out for travel tips. / / N: She's been to the West Indies before so she knows the place like the back of her hand. / / Stud: Jamaica? / N: No, she went of her own accord. http://irregularwebcomic.net/378.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #379 | [caption]: Two days' sail out of Tortuga [[The pirate ship tosses...]] / / [[...and heaves...]] / / [[...and churns...]] / / [[...and spins...]] / / [[...and is thrown about by the waves...]] / / Me: [[looking green]] Sorry, I thought this would be a great comic, but I'm getting seasick... http://irregularwebcomic.net/379.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #380 | Emperor: The Force is strong with him. The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi. / / Vader: If he could be turned, he would become a powerful ally. / Emperor: Yes. Yes... He would be a great asset. / / Emperor: But remember what Yoda said of the Sith lords. Always two there are... a master and an apprentice. / / Emperor: So tell me, Lord Vader, exactly which one of us were you planning on getting rid of? Hmmm? http://irregularwebcomic.net/380.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #381 | N: So find out who's been toppling those rockets and what Strangways knew about it. Good luck. / Stud: Thank you, sir. / / N: Oh, 0x0A... Just leave the Beretta, would you? / / N: And the chair... [[to Stud, holding the chair]] / / N: [[sitting on the floor]] And my desk... [[to Stud, who is walking out the door with the chair, desk, and probably Beretta]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/381.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #382 | [caption]: A horse is a horse, of course, of course./And no one goes mad from a horse, of course./That is, of course, unless the horse is the squamous C-thul-Ed./Go right to the source and see the horse./Lose d20 SAN - it's par for the course./You can't resist his evil force./Obey C-thul-Ed!/People chittery-chat and scream and cry their lives away./But C-thul-Ed will never speak 'til the final mad'ning day!/A horse is a horse, of course, of course./And this one will gibber 'til you're a corpse./You never heard of a squamous horse?/Well listen to this: / / CthulEd: [[Cthulhu's head, horse's behind]] R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! http://irregularwebcomic.net/382.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #383 | [sound]: [[Charity Collector Guy knocking]] Knock! Knock! / / Charity Collector Guy: Show pride in your Australian heritage http://irregularwebcomic.net/383.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #384 | Erwin: Herr Kolonel Haken, I think we need to discuss die overall Nazi strategic planning. / Haken: Ja, ja. / / Erwin: I am thinking, perhaps we are too rigid in our approach to der struggle for ultimate supremacy. / Haken: What do you mean...? / / Erwin: Being just a brain is limiting die Fuhrer. We should look at replacing him. / Haken: Erwin! How dare you suggest... / / Erwin: Oh, come on Herr Kolonel! Remember he flubbed that crucial double play against der Fascisti in die final?! http://irregularwebcomic.net/384.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #385 | Martian 1: Morning. / Martian 2: Morning. Gosh, you look terrible. / / Martian 1: Yeah. Not enough sleep. / / Martian 2: Noisy neighbours? / / Martian 1: Yeah. Bloody Mars Rover in the next crater wakes me up at the crack of dawn with weird Earth music every day. http://irregularwebcomic.net/385.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #386 | Ric Olie: Coruscant. The entire planet is one big city. / Anakin: Wow! Let's see: population density of 50,000 per square kilometre... / / Anakin: That's 10^14 people and no arable land. You'd need to import the entire output of 10,000 agricultural planets to feed them. / / Anakin: At a cargo capacity of 2,500,000 metric tons each, you need 80,000 Super Star Destroyers delivering fresh produce every day. / / Ric Olie: Anakin, has anyone ever told you you're just an annoying little kid? / Jar Jar: Meesa agree... http://irregularwebcomic.net/386.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #387 | Alvissa: You're looking very clean today, Lambert. / / Lambert: Yeah, I've been taking bubble baths, with lots and lots of soap. The only problem is, I can't stop. / / Alvissa: Why not? / / Lambert: It's hobbit-foaming. http://irregularwebcomic.net/387.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #388 | Prof. Jones: So, we recovered the map from this Indian temple. What does it say? / / Monty: It shows the location of a mysterious plateau in Venezuela. We have to go there, dad! / / Monty: It looks like there could be living relics of past ages there. It might be some sort of Lost World! / / Prof. Jones: Well if the former owners were heading for Venezuela and wound up in India... that's certainly Lost at any rate. http://irregularwebcomic.net/388.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #389 | Martian 1: Right, I've had enough of this. I'm gonna teach that stinkin' Mars Rover a lesson. / / Martian 2: Be careful. It's semi-autonomous. / Martian 1: Oh, what's it gonna do? Run over me at 0.18 km/h? / / [[Scene change: Martian plateau]] / Martian 1: [[getting seriously drilled as he attempts to beat the Rover with a wrench]] Ow! Ow! Hey! Stop it! Ow! / / [[Scene change: Earth]] / NASA Guy 1: Hmmm. According to the latest Mossbauer spectrum, the rock abrasion tool has hit something really soft... http://irregularwebcomic.net/389.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #390 | [caption]: CBS Control Room, Super Bowl XXVIII. / / CBS Guy: What the...? Did you see that? / / CBS Guy: It's broken loose! Quick! Send in the wrangler! / / Steve: [[over the monitor]] Crikey! This breast is a bit stroppy! http://irregularwebcomic.net/390.html |
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