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Irregular Webcomic! #3187 Caption: The following is based* on real events. / / Lich: I teleport us back to the inn. But I want to make sure we don't 'port in on top of someone, so I'll have us appear ten feet off the ground. / / Rogueish DM: Okay. Except unlike you, the Blackguard doesn't have a ring of feather fall on him, so he fals like a boulder and lands on a guy coming out of the inn and takes some fall damage. / / Blackguard: Goddammit! You did that on purpose! / / Lich: Oh, don't be a baby. You have a hundred and ninety hit points and you can self-heal with Lay on Hands. You can take 1d6. / / Blackguard: That's it. I cast shatter on the Lich. / / Goblin: That only affects nonmagical objects, dumbass. / / Blackguard: Just because his character is undead doesn't mean that each of his individual bones is a magical item. And the rules specifically say he's considered an object for fortitude saves. / / Rogueish DM: Wait, you are? Where did you read that? / / Lich: I don't freaking remember, we have like eighty source books! / / Goblin: Make a call, DM. Would shatter technically affect him or not? / / Rogueish DM: There's some kind of weight limit for that spell, right? / / Blackguard: For me, I can shatter one object up to a hundred pounds, or every object ten pounds or less within a 10-foot diameter. So is he considered one object or multiple? / / Rogueish DM: Okay. First we need to find out the average weight of a human skeleton. I'll get on google. And someone look up in the monster manual whether a lich is considered just undead, or some kind of magical construct thingie. / / Caption: They then proceeded to look it up. / / Caption: Don't let this happen to your gaming group. Friends don't let friends be rules lawyers. / / Caption: * very loosely, anyway
Irregular Webcomic! #3188 SFX: cock-a-doodle-doo cock-a-doodle-doo / / Jane Goodall: Here chicken chicken chicken, here chicken chicken chicken. I swear if I find out who brought that damn bird into the camp I'll brain him. / / [[Jane leaves; an ape fiddles with a hidden control panel]] / / SFX: whirr whirr whirr / / SFX: click click / / Chimp: [[on view screen]] Ah, Ape, good. It appears there is trouble brewing in your sector. Some of our field agents have disappeared and there have been reports of one of Inferno's cyborgs around. Find the missing agents and deal with the cyborg. Good luck Ape. / / Ape: No problem Sir. And I might suggest you change the incoming message signal. It's driving Jane quite bonkers. / / Chimp: Very well, no more roosters. / / Caption: Watch out Inferno, Agent Ape is coming for you. / / Caption: Agent Ape, coming soon to a deranged mind near you.
Irregular Webcomic! #3189 Caption: These aren't the droids you're looking for... / / C-3PO: Protocol? Whyn that is my primary function. / / Caption: C-3PO. Protocol droid. / / R2-D2: Beep. Boop. Beep. / / Caption: R2-D2. Astromech droid. / / Battle droid: Roger. Roger. / / Caption: B-1. Battle droid. / / Fano Matroid: I'm no droid! I'm independent from them! / / Caption: F7. Fano matroid.
Irregular Webcomic! #3190 Caption: Tales of Lost Innocence: The Salad Bar / / [[Farmer approaches a pig pen with a bundle of dynamite]] / / SFX: Toss [[Farmer tosses lit dynamite ito pig pen]] / / SFX: BOOM! / / [[scene change: a restaurant]] / / Dad: And that, Billy, is where we get bacon bits from!
Irregular Webcomic! #3191 Draak: Draak have dull old mum's mum's son too, you know. / / Draak: 'Cos we cold bloods, his tales drag on. / / Draak: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! / / [[beat]]
 
Irregular Webcomic! #3192 [[a horde of LEGO soldiers lay siege to a castle]] / / Sign on castle: FORT RIEMANN / / Me: This is MAAAAAAAAATH!!!
Irregular Webcomic! #3193 Paul Blutrach: [[a witness]] I saw some dude running up the street there, then I found the body! / / Officer Frank McGillicuddy: Ah, Detective, I'm glad you're here. / / Officer Frank McGillicuddy: There's a medical examiner here already - it's a new guy. / / Detective Harry Georgeson: So? He didn't get sick on the stiff, did he? / / Officer Frank McGillicuddy: You'll see. He's in there with the body. / / Detective Harry Georgeson: Well, search the area for clues. I'll go inside and check things out. / / Caption: Inside... / / Medical Examiner Leland Jones: What? / / [[zoom out; we see the victim Chip Philson lying dead on the floor with a cutlass in his back. Leland is wearing boxing gloves]] / / Medical Examiner Leland Jones: I was taught you always wear gloves at a crime scene!
Irregular Webcomic! #3195 [[scene: The Infinite Featureless Plane of Death]] / / Johnson: Se we're... / / Williams: Dead. / / Johnson: And this is... / / Williams: The Infinite Featureless Plane of Death. / / [[beat]] / / Johnson: I thought it would be a little more... bumpy or something. / / Williams: What part of "Featureless" aren't you getting?
Irregular Webcomic! #3196 Caption: League of Good Guys agglomerate! A new mence arises, that threatens not just the world, but the very fabric of space and time itself. Sound off! Captain Spatula... / / Captain Spatula: In brightest day, indarkest night, no pancake shall escape my sight. / / Caption: Refractive Man... / / Refractive Man: Bend it like a rainbow, baby! / / Caption: Dino Boy... / / Dino Boy: Oh, man! Doorknobs - my only weakness! / / Caption: Last (and probably least) Worm Master! / / Worm Master: Arise, my conqueror worms! Duty beckons and we shall - wait, whaddya mean "least"? / / Caption: Do they have the resolve, the strength of will, the sheer power to face their gravest threat to date? Can they survive an encounter with... / / Caption: ... the Apathetic Artist? / / Dean Stahl: *sigh* / / [[the heroes are stupefied]] / / Caption: ... perhaps not. / / Captain Spatula: Stick a fork in us, we're done. / / Refractive Man: Uh, can we go back to fighting the Axis of Antagonists? / / Worm Master: Yeah, that's gonna happen... / / Dino Boy: Pardon me, gents, but extinction is beckoning. Again.
Irregular Webcomic! #3197 [[scene: a home somewhere]] / / Someone who doesn't even slightly resemble Me: I'm watching a Multiverse-TV episode where my name is David Morgan-Mar. / / Someone who doesn't even slightly resemble Me: He's been making "Irregular Webcomic!" for many years. / / Someone who doesn't even slightly resemble Me: I could have done that! / / Someone who doesn't even slightly resemble Me: I've got plenty of great ideas. / / Someone who doesn't even slightly resemble Me: It doesn't even look all that hard. / / Someone who doesn't even slightly resemble Me: I wonder what it'll be like to get fan mail... / / Someone who doesn't even slightly resemble Me: Maybe after the first book deal, the buzz will cause a battle over the movie rights... / / Someone who doesn't even slightly resemble Me: Wait, no. That's silly. / / Someone who doesn't even slightly resemble Me: [[Looking back at TV]] An HBO series. That's where it's all happening nowadays. / / [[Someone who doesn't even slightly resemble Me watches TV a bit]] / / [[Someone who doesn't even slightly resemble Me reaches for the remote, which is just out of reach]] / / [[Someone who doesn't even slightly resemble Me slumps back and just keeps watching the same channel]]
 
Irregular Webcomic! #3198 [[photo of a black felt hat on a small wooden box; a blackboard leans against the box, written on it are the words "THE END"]] / / Caption: ... and a new beginning
Irregular Webcomic! #3199 [[photo of a double rainbow over a storm-lit sea]] / / Caption: The Wonder of Science
Irregular Webcomic! #3202 [[photo of a juggler playing with fire, which is blurred out by the rapid motions]] / / Caption: Motion and Heat
Irregular Webcomic! #3203 [[photo of a mass of pipes running horizontally and vertically]] / / Caption: Series of Tubes
Irregular Webcomic! #3204 [[photo of a chemistry lab]] / / Caption: Clumps of Atoms
 
Irregular Webcomic! #3205 [[photo of some of the Lewis Chessmen]] / / Caption: Designing Games
Irregular Webcomic! #3206 [[photo of a giant chunk of glass in a museum room]] / / Caption: Bending Light
Irregular Webcomic! #3207 [[photo of an old piano]] / / Caption: Musical Genres
Irregular Webcomic! #3208 [[photo of tables and chairs arranged carefully outsidea cafe]] / / Caption: Organising the Elements
Irregular Webcomic! #3209 [[photo of Kitt Peak Observatory]] / / Caption: Looking up
 
Irregular Webcomic! #3210 [[photo of people descending into a large sinkhole]] / / Caption: Looking down
Irregular Webcomic! #3211 [[photo of a man's bare legs, as the man reads a newspaper]] / / Caption: Your pants are falling down...
Irregular Webcomic! #3213 [[photo of a model of an X-wing fighter in a museum display case, with people behind it]] / / Caption: A long time ago in a glaxy far, far away....
Irregular Webcomic! #3214 [[photo of Canterbury College in Christchurch, where Ernest Rutherford studied]] / / Caption: Probing the atom
Irregular Webcomic! #3215 [[photo of a street market displaying artwork for sale]] / / Caption: Sharing art
 
Irregular Webcomic! #3216 [[photo of Stonehenge with a couple of tourists looking at it]] / / Caption: Alien stonemasons
Irregular Webcomic! #3217 [[photo of Wilhelm Röntgen's laboratory in the University of Würzburg]] / / Caption: Unravelling the nucleus
Irregular Webcomic! #3218 [[photo of an ancient Egyptian stone with hieroglyphyic writing carved on it]] / / Caption: Writing together
Irregular Webcomic! #3219 [[photo of an old wireless telegraphy receiver with headphones and Morse code key]] / / Caption: Electromagnetic waves
Irregular Webcomic! #3220 [[photo of the Parkes Observatory Radiotelescope]] / / Caption: Stars on Radio
 

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