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| Irregular Webcomic! #3127 | Lambert: How does the power of Dwarven Might help us get home? / / Dwalin: A dwarf might want to travel hoom, ye ken. A dwarven might. Ye ken? [[translation: A dwarf might want to travel home, you know. A dwarven might. Get it?]] / / Mordekai: So, the entire power of the Ruby is based on a pune, or play on words? / / Dwalin: Hey, dwarves dinnae ha' truck wi' sorcery, ye ken. 'Tis the cloosest thing we got. [[translation: Hey, dwarves don't do sorcery, you know. It's the closest thing we have.]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/3127.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3128 | Jane Goodall: Correct me if I'm wrong, but a clone would take too long to grow anyway. We need a replacement body now. / / Jane Goodall: It doesn't necessarily have to be a clone. We could use any body with a passing resemblance to Hitler. / / [[beat]] / / Jane Goodall: Oh, that's right. I'm never wrong. http://irregularwebcomic.net/3128.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3129 | Jamie: Adam is testing the myth that it's possible to escape from a sealed, shark-infested tank of water while handcuffed and bound in chains. / / Adam: You know what would make this even better? / / Jamie: What? / / Adam: If the shark had a frikkin' laser beam on its head. / / Jamie: I'm way ahead of you. http://irregularwebcomic.net/3129.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3130 | [[scene: in a truck driving through northern Germany]] / / Monty: I still don't trust Erwin. / / Ginny: I'm married to him. / / Monty: I still don't trust you! / / Ginny: Ah, right then. http://irregularwebcomic.net/3130.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3131 | Mercutio: No, no, no... You see, history has gone askew. They told me Hitler is a brain in a jar! The Nazis are still using zeppelins to bomb London! / / Mercutio: We've been sucked into an alternate history! / / Mercutio: None of us were ever meant to be in this time period! / / Shakespeare: Forsooth. http://irregularwebcomic.net/3131.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3132 | Paris: Entering the time warp...! / / SFX: Shudder! / / Serron: What was that?! / / Iki Piki: It's just a jump... to the left. http://irregularwebcomic.net/3132.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3133 | Terry: How are we going to pass off a different body as Hitler? / / Isaac Newton: It is a little known fact that Mr Edmond Halley here is an expert make-up artiste. / / Terry: That isn't in any biographies of Halley! / / Isaac Newton: Hence: "Little known fact." http://irregularwebcomic.net/3133.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3134 | [caption]: ==Mythbusters== Houdini Shark Tank Escape / / Adam: So, Jamie lowered me into a shark tank with my hands cuffed and my body wrapped in chains, to see if I could escape. / / Adam: What did we learn from this one, Jamie? / / Jamie: Cutting away and not showing the action scene really annoys the audience. / / Adam: Myth confirmed. http://irregularwebcomic.net/3134.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3135 | Dwalin: To activate thu magic o' the Ruby, cloose yer eyes, clack yer hills togither three times, and rippit after me: [[translation: To activate the magic of the Ruby, close your eyes, click your heels together three times, and repeat after me:]] / / Dwalin: "Thar be noo pliss like hoom." [[translation: "There's no place like home."]] / / SFX: click click click / / Mordekai: There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. / / Mordekai: It's not working. / / Dwalin: Nay, ye ninny! Yer sayin' it wroong! "Thar be noo pliss like hoom." [[translation: No, you fool! You're saying it wrong! "There's no place like home."]] / / Mordekai: Thar be noo pliss like hoom. / / SFX: Flash!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/3135.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3136 | [[scene: in the back of a truck driving through northern Germany]] / / Prof. Jones: So Pop, what do you think about Junior's reaction to Dr Smith and Erwin being married? / / Minnesota Jones: The boy is flustered. Did you see that throbbing vein on the side of his head when he found out? / / Prof. Jones: Yes. It keeps reappearing whenever he talks to her. / / Minnesota Jones: That's trouble, mark my words. Montana Jones and the temple of doom. http://irregularwebcomic.net/3136.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3137 | Charity Collector Guy: So all we need is the body of someone, to implant Hitler's brain into. / / Isaac Newton: Do not look at us. We are all important scientists, with great contributions to humanity still to make. / / Isaac Newton: No. We need someone completely useless, whose place in history will never be missed. / / Jane Goodall: Steve! I knew you'd be good for something. / / Steve: Crikey! http://irregularwebcomic.net/3137.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3138 | Shakespeare: So if we're in a different timeline, how do we get home? / / Mercutio: In this version of history, the Nazis win the war. If we can prevent that, the timestreams will reconverge and we should all return to our original time. / / Shakespeare: Our original time? All of us? / / Mercutio: Yes! / / Winston Churchill: Shakespeare, where are you? You're a bloody genius! That speech was magnificent! I've never heard of anyone with such a command of the English language! http://irregularwebcomic.net/3138.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3139 | [[scene: a village]] / / Lambert: ... and that, my friends, is how we returned here to claim our reward from the Duke! / / Villagers: Huzzah!! / / Villager: I have a question. / / Lambert: Yes? / / Villager: Where are my horses?! http://irregularwebcomic.net/3139.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3140 | Charity Collector Guy: Steve is too important to history! Who else will keep Cthulhu at bay? / / Steve: 'e is pretty stroppy. / / Charity Collector Guy: No, we need someone utterly insignificant. Someone who can be erased completely from the timestream without so much as a ripple. / / Charity Collector Guy: Someone who's made absolutely no impact on the world. Someone useless, hopeless, and talentless. / / Me: Why are you all looking at me? http://irregularwebcomic.net/3140.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3141 | Haken: You know, Erwin, sometimes I wonder if die Führer has his head on right. / / Haken: It used to be we would chase Herr Doktor Jones all over die world to find archaeological relics to fuel his fascination with die occult. / / Haken: But now all die Führer seems to be interested in is conquering Europe. / / Haken: That is no fun at all! / / Erwin: Und bad for our reputations. http://irregularwebcomic.net/3141.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3142 | Me: Let me get this straight. You want to kill me, in 1933, and put Hitler's brain, which would otherwise be dead, into my body, in order to preserve history? / / Isaac Newton: Right. Except for the killing part. Us killing you would be barbaric and unconscionable. / / Me: Oh, well that's a relief. / / Isaac Newton: You're going to kill yourself. http://irregularwebcomic.net/3142.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3143 | [[scene: inside a comfortable home]] / / Lambert: [[writing in a book]] There, finished! / / SFX: Knock! Knock! / / Lambert: I wonder who that could be? / / SFX: Fwackoom! / / Lambert: Kyros! http://irregularwebcomic.net/3143.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3144 | Winston Churchill: That last speech you wrote and Miss Ophelia here recorded on film has roused our lads to repel the Nazi menace! / / Winston Churchill: We took out almost their entire fleet! No more will zeppelins drop bombs on London! / / Winston Churchill: And I hear you, Mr Mercutio, helped the chaps at Bletchley Park to crack the German Enigma code! Bravo! / / Winston Churchill: We'll soon retake France and be marching across Europe to victory! All because of you brave three! Our future history is assured! http://irregularwebcomic.net/3144.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3145 | SFX: Flash! / / Paris: There's no place like home! / / Iki Piki: Indeed. Sensors show we're back in our original timestream! / / Serron: How do sensors know that? / / Iki Piki: They... sense stuff. http://irregularwebcomic.net/3145.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3146 | Lambert: [[answering door]] Kyros! I haven't seen you in years. What have you been up to? / / Kyros: We can all answer that question tonight. I've organised a reunion. Alvissa, Mordekai, Dwalin... Is Draak still with you? / / Lambert: Yes, he's my gardener. / / Kyros: A lizard man gardener? / / Lambert: He plants a lot of snapdragons. http://irregularwebcomic.net/3146.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3147 | Me: Kill myself?! So you can stick Hitler's brain in my body?! No way! / / Isaac Newton: Mr Yeti? / / Yeti: I'm on it. / / Yeti: [[into phone]] Hello? Yes, we've got him here. In 1933. How soon can you be here? / / Death of Going Back In Time And Murdering Yourself: RIGHT AWAY. http://irregularwebcomic.net/3147.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3148 | Shakespeare: Ophelia, since we're about to return to our home time, I have a confession to make. / / Ophelia: What is it, Will? / / Shakespeare: I'm... not from the 21st century. I was born in 1564... / / Ophelia: What??!? / / Shakespeare: Through some bizarre accident I found myself in your time. / / Ophelia: Oh, phew. / / Shakespeare: You're okay with that? / / Ophelia: I thought for a second you were going to say you're over 400 years old. http://irregularwebcomic.net/3148.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3149 | Erwin: Herr Kolonel, I have just received die Führer's latest orders. We are to start rounding up und exterminating Jews! / / Haken: That... is horrible! / / Erwin: Ja... You don't say... / / Erwin: Und we are not allowed to use zeppelins to do it. Die Führer wants to scrap die fleet und turn them into fighter planes. / / Haken: Well that is just going too far! http://irregularwebcomic.net/3149.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3150 | Me: But I thought you were supposed to be taking me back in time to kill myself in order to restore history, not be killed by myself! / / Isaac Newton: But you are killing yourself. Just not the you that you thought would be being killed. / / Me: Wait, wait... give me a second to parse that sentence... / / SFX: SPLATCH! http://irregularwebcomic.net/3150.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3151 | Lambert: Come on Draak. We'll be late for the reunion! / / Draak: It be good to see old friends once more. / / Lambert: Here we are. The Green Dragon Inn. Let's go inside. / / Draak: One last look ere it go up in ball of flame... http://irregularwebcomic.net/3151.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3152 | Head Death: So let me get this straight. I sent you to the most significant insanely overpowered fireball in history... / / Head Death: ... and the only person who died did so because he came back in time and murdered himself? / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: Yeah. I thought those sorts of things shouldn't happen any more with the Frog dead. / / Head Death: Paradoxes should not occur, and pre-existing paradoxical states should resolve themselves gracefully. / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: Well he wasn't clumsy about it... http://irregularwebcomic.net/3152.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3153 | Serron: No, really, how do we know we're in our original timestream and not some alternate one? / / Paris: The computer scans incoming media and cross-checks against our ship's extensive banks of historical information. / / Serron: And why do spaceships routinely carry extensive historical data anyway? / / Paris: In case we come across an alien planet with a culture that bears an uncanny resemblance to a period in Earth's history. / / Serron: Ah, it all makes sense. http://irregularwebcomic.net/3153.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3154 | Shakespeare: I wanted to write poems and plays! But there's precious little work for a playwright in your time. So I got the only writing job I could. / / Ophelia: That's so sad. People should be able to chase their dreams and not end up in a dead-end job just to survive. Like my directing dream. / / Ophelia: Mercutio, what's your dream? / / Mercutio: I always wanted to be... a lumberjack! / / SFX: Slap! / / Ophelia: This is serious! http://irregularwebcomic.net/3154.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3155 | Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: [[entering]] Sir! Sir! I did it! I collected... Oh, sorry, I didn't realise you were busy. / / Head Death: Run Through The Spleen With A Toothpick, sit down. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Yes, sir. / / Head Death: I am seeing the folly of this newfangled scheme of promotions and demotions. It ends now. / / Head Death: Fireballs, you're Choking On A Giant Frog. Permanently. / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: What?! / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: What?! Oh, wait, him. http://irregularwebcomic.net/3155.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #3156 | [[scene: a tavern]] / / Alvissa: Lambert! Good to see you again! Have you finished your book about our adventures? / / Lambert: Yes! I've called it There And Back Again, or The Hobbit. / / Dwalin: Hobbit?? Ye shuld call it Thu Dwarf! [[translation: Hobbit?? You should call it The Dwarf!]] / / Alvissa: The Elf! / / Kyros: The Wizard! / / Draak: Cold Blood! / / Mordekai: The Lovable Rogue! http://irregularwebcomic.net/3156.html |
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