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Irregular Webcomic! #1411 Will: You want me to replace Harry Potter? I'm not sure I'm up to that... / Hermione: So modest! / Ron: But all Harry's good at is getting into trouble. You know a lot more than he does, about a lot of things. / Ron: Muggle history, rhetoric, European literature, psychology, theatre, Greek mythology,...
Irregular Webcomic! #1412 Townsman: Why are you raiding Port Royal? / Wendy: We be seekin' the treasure map me father be takin' from Greybeard the Pirate! / Townsman: He's just a senile old salt! What could his map tell you? / Wendy: I be knowin' that, but Greybeard be the one drawin' the map, not me father!
Irregular Webcomic! #1413 [[scene: The Legacy bridge, after it has landed at an open-air landing pad on Bune, showing a coast in the background.]] / Serron: I think we should discuss the arrangements for splitting the profits from this trip, given our unusual circumstances. / Iki Piki: This should all have been settled ages...
Irregular Webcomic! #1414 [[scene: A front door in Ancient Rome.]] / [sound]: Pulsus! Pulsus! / Charity Collector Guy: [[As Marcus opens the door]] Ave! I'm collecting for the fund to prevent Latin from becoming a dead language. / Marcus: [[to Julius]] What did he say? / Julius: I don't know; it's all Greek to me.
Irregular Webcomic! #1415 [caption]: Japan... / [sign]: [[on an ice cream stand, attended by a robed monk]] Zen Ice Cream / Steve: A vanilla cone, thanks mate. / Monk: We have ice cream today, so we can give you none. / Monk: If you come back tomorrow, we will have no ice cream, so we can give you some. / Steve: Crikey! What...
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1416 Gollum: [[in pitch blackness]] Ahh... We hass it! We shall eats it up! / Lambert: Aaaargh! / Gollum: Unlesss... unless it winss a riddle contest againsst uss! / Lambert: A riddle contest? Like how come you talk in the third person and are willing to let me go on such a flimsy premise? / Gollum: Argh!...
Irregular Webcomic! #1417 Monty: So what happened after you and Erwin jumped from the zeppelin? / Ginny: We didn't find the orichalcum - it's as good as lost. We wandered the back woods of Poland for a week. / Ginny: It got cold at night. We had to huddle together for warmth. / Monty: Eurgh! / Prof. Jones: [[leering from the...
Irregular Webcomic! #1418 [[scene: on board the Hogwarts Express]] / Hermione: So tell us more about yourself. / Will: Well, I'm a writer... / Hermione: Oooh! What do you write? / Will: Stirring tragic plays highlighting the eternal dilemmas and conflicts of the human condition. Historical dramas to educate and entertain. / Will:...
Irregular Webcomic! #1419 Serron: As he's a junior member of the crew, I vote Quercus gets a reduced share of the profits from this trip. / Paris: But without him, we all would have died! / Serron: Exactly! Either we're all dead, or he gets a reduced share! He gets more this way!
Irregular Webcomic! #1420 Me: [[writing equations on a whiteboard, in front of a group of people]] Divergence of the electric field is charge density on epsilon-zero. Divergence of magnetic field is, however, zero, meaning there are no magnetic monopoles. / Me: Curl of the electric field is minus the rate of change of magnetic...
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1421 Dirque: [[triumphantly holding aloft a map]] We be findin' the map! / Wendy: That be grand! Let's be abscondin' with it! / [[beat]] / Wendy: Let's be stealin' it! / Dirque: Arrr!
Irregular Webcomic! #1422 Lambert: [[still in darkness]] Riddle contest, eh? Okay then... What's green, has six legs, and will kill you if it drops on you from a tree? / Gollum: Too easy, it iss! A billiardss table! How did the man drown in his muessli? / Lambert: Erm... He got pulled under by a currant! How do you know when...
Irregular Webcomic! #1423 Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: But, but... I have a fireball victim waiting. That's a collection! / Head Death: Not any more. We'll let the victim off this time. / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: That's not fair! / Head Death: Immortality, freedom from normal constraints of space...
Irregular Webcomic! #1424 Terry: [[reading a book on the flight]] This says the Tibetan name for the yeti is "migou", which Lovecraft rendered as "Mi-go" in his 1930 story The Whisperer in Darkness. / Terry: He describes the "Abominable Snow-Men" of the Himalaya as pinkish things with crustaceous bodies, membranous wings, and...
Irregular Webcomic! #1425 Prof. Jones: For some reason this reminds me of the time your mother and I were excavating near the Step Pyramid of Djoser. / Prof. Jones: The artefacts we unearthed were very exciting. They got our blood racing and the next thing we knew, passion took over and... / Monty: On an important archaeological...
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1426 Serron: And speaking of profit sharing, Paris shouldn't get a share. She's dead. / Paris: I'm standing right here, you moron! / Serron: What are you going to do with money? / Paris: I can think of one good thing! / Spanners: Put it in a bank account just so Serron can't have it? / Paris: Two good...
Irregular Webcomic! #1427 Ophelia: Mercutio, I'm worried about Will. Since Loren left, he's buried himself in work. / Mercutio: Loren Ipsum, the U.S. Constitution ISO 9001 project leader? / Ophelia: Yes. With her gone, he's not socialising any more. / Mercutio: I wouldn't worry. He'll be over it soon. I reckon she was just...
Irregular Webcomic! #1428 [caption]: It came upon a midnight clear,/that colour out of space, / [caption]: From aliens bending near the Earth,/to suck life from a place. / [caption]: "Death on Earth, bad will to men,/from heav'n's chaotic things!" / [caption]: The world in ghastly stillness lay,/around it evil clings. / [caption]:...
Irregular Webcomic! #1429 [[scene: still pitch black darkness...]] / Gollum: Another riddle... What iss black and white and bouncesss? / Lambert: Black and white... and bounces? Um... / Gollum: Doess it gives up? / Lambert: No! Give me a second here. Black... and... white... / Gollum: And bouncesss, it doess. What isss it? /...
Irregular Webcomic! #1430 [caption]: Episode I / [caption]: THE PHANTOM MENACE / [caption]: Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic. The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute. / [caption]: Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of deadly battleships, the greedy Trade Federation has stopped all...
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1431 [[scene: The Infinite Featureless Plane of Death]] / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: Hello, Fireballs... Been to see the Head Death again...? / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Choking... Do you always hang around outside his office? / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: Only when demotion is...
Irregular Webcomic! #1432 Minnesota Jones: The Palladium of Troy. Well, well. So where in Rome are we going? / Ginny: We know the Romans brought treasures back from their Hellenic campaigns, possibly including the Palladium. / Minnesota Jones: That's never been proven. / Ginny: My research indicates a book in the Vatican Library...
Irregular Webcomic! #1433 [caption]: Tribhuvan International Airport, Kathmandu / Terry: Now let me do all the talking this time, Steve. / Customs Guy: Anything to declare? / Steve: We're here to see the yeti! / [[Terry holds her face in her hands]] / Customs Guy: I see. Security! / Customs Guy: [[as Steve is led away by Security]]...
Irregular Webcomic! #1434 Quercus: [[appearing on the bridge]] The Allosaurus has been unloaded and we've been paid. Let's hit the town and I'll see if I can find a new cargo. / Serron: See?! More reasons why Quercus should get a reduced profit share! / Iki Piki: What? He's the one actually doing all the work around here. / Serron:...
Irregular Webcomic! #1435 Me: It's been four years since I started this comic. That's a long time to be doing a single creative pursuit. / Me: I never imagined it would last this long, and it's been fun, but I think this is as good a milestone as any to move on. / Me: I want to thank everyone who contributed over the years....
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1436 [[scene: still in pitch darkness]] / Gollum: We will eats it anyway! Trick quesstion indeedss! / Lambert: Aaaargh! / Alvissa: Lambert! Is that you?! / Lambert: Alvissa!? / Gollum: Gollum! Gollum! / Draak: Draak smash! / Kyros: We need light. Channelling mana... / All: Noooo!
Irregular Webcomic! #1437 [[scene: Gryffindor common room, Hogwarts]] / Hermione: So Will, what are you planning to do after our final year of school? / Will: I thought I might stay on and try to become a teacher at Hogwarts. / Hermione: Amazing! That's what I want to do! / [[scene change: Shakespeare's office, where Shakespeare...
Irregular Webcomic! #1438 [[scene: The pirate ship Allosaurus, docked at Port Royal.]] / Long Tom: [[walkin' up the gangplank]] We be findin' the map! Cast off! / Swab: [[on board]] What? Now? / Long Tom: Be ye deaf, ye barnacled swab?! Cast off! / Swab: [[holding up a half-finished garment]] But I ain't be finished knittin'...
Irregular Webcomic! #1439 Minnesota Jones: When I was in Troy on Schliemann's dig, a carnival sideshow passed through. One act was these two men, covered head to toe in tattoos. / Minnestoa Jones: One had Egyptian hieroglyphs, the other Mayan symbols, which was interesting. They ate live bugs and goldfish. It was quite amazing. / Minnesota...
Irregular Webcomic! #1440 [[scene: Outside, on a street of the starport]] / Quercus: Bune's major export is a spice extracted from the native giant water worms. I've secured a load, but we have two days until it's delivered. / Paris: Good work, Quercus. While we're waiting, we can enjoy the local attractions. / Quercus: {approaching...
 

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