You're browsing the archives of Irregular Webcomic!.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Irregular Webcomic! #961 | [[scene: the main room of an inn in the town of Footcrag]] / Alvissa: Innkeeper! Three rooms for the night and five of your finest meals! / Lambert: I'll have five too! / / Lambert: So, what sort of food is the speciality of these parts, my friend? / Innkeeper: Stew. / / Lambert: Ah. Especially fine stew? / Innkeeper:... http://irregularwebcomic.net/961.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #962 | Prof. Jones: [[walking down a street in Kiev]] Kiev is a big city. How are we going to find Dr Smith? / / Monty: We check out all the hotels near the railway station. Smith may be a common name in the West, but it'll stick out like a sore thumb here. / / [caption]: [[hotel with sign]] Palast-Hotel. Welcome... http://irregularwebcomic.net/962.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #963 | Spanners: Well, the aliens have completely eaten Paris' brain. There's no point delaying any further. I'm venting Serron's cabin to space. / / Serron: Wait! What if that's really me in there, and I'm the xenomorph?! / / [[silent beat]] / / Iki Piki: Vent away, Spanners. Only the real Serron could say something... http://irregularwebcomic.net/963.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #964 | [[scene: The Death picket line, only all the Deaths have left except for the one in the fine top hat, who clings to a protest sign]] / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Hey! Where is everyone? / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: They've all scarpered. / / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: What'choo... http://irregularwebcomic.net/964.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #965 | [[scene: an anonymous swamp somewhere on Dagobah]] / Luke: I'm not looking for a friend. I'm looking for a Jedi Master. / / Loda: Oohhh. Jedi Master. Yoda. You seek Yoda. / / Luke: You know him? / / Loda: On other side of planet he is. His eighth cousin twice removed Loda I am. How you expect to find anyone if... http://irregularwebcomic.net/965.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #966 | Mordekai: [[by the bar in the inn]] Mmmm... nothing like a cleansing ale after hard days on the road. / / Lambert: [[observing the large mug of ale on the bar by Mordekai]] What's that? / Mordekai: This, my friend, is a pint. / / Lambert: [[incredulous]] They come in pints? / / Mordekai: Er... of course. What size... http://irregularwebcomic.net/966.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #967 | Marlowe: [[approaching Will's desk]] Shakespeare, office B down on level 2 has become free. You're next in line. / / Shakespeare: Thanks, Mr Marlowe, but isn't that the one near the photocopier? That's always really noisy? / / Marlowe: Look, do you want it or not? / / [caption]: This punchline blocked by PunGuard... http://irregularwebcomic.net/967.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #968 | [[scene: inside a zeppelin. The windows show a snowy landscape passing underneath]] / Erwin: I am still not convinced zeppelins filled with hydrogen are entirely safe, Herr Kolonel. / / Haken: Didn't you hear about die Luftwaffe officer who thought die same thing? He took a train from Berlin to Paris und... http://irregularwebcomic.net/968.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #969 | Spanners: Okay, Paris and the aliens have been spaced. They'll hit that star there in a few days. Farewell, Paris. From the stars we come, and to the stars we return. / / Serron: Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light http://irregularwebcomic.net/969.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #970 | [[scene: Head Death's desk on the infinite featureless plane]] / Head Death: Ah, Fate Worse Than Death. I see you've realised the futility of your little revolt. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: You haven't won yet. As a Fate and not a Death, I can carry on alone. / / Head Death: I'm reinstating... http://irregularwebcomic.net/970.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #971 | Captain Spatula: To the crime scene! / / [[The Worm Mobile racing through traffic. As usual, mayhem follows in their wake: a citizen's car has swerved and destroyed a fire hydrant.]] / / Policeman: [[at the crime scene, where dead fish lie scattered around a broken armoured car]] Well it's about time you guys... http://irregularwebcomic.net/971.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #972 | Alvissa: Now guys, don't drink too much. Remember what happened last time. / Kyros: Actually, we don't. / / Farmer: [[bursting into the tavern with news]] The apple harvest is in! A bumper crop! / Innkeeper: Cider and apple brandy all round, on the house! / / Alvissa: Why are you doing this? / / GM: Inevitability... http://irregularwebcomic.net/972.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #973 | [[scene: inside the Palast-Hotel, at the reception desk]] / Monty: We're looking for a Dr Smith... / / Hotel Clerk: In Kiev every hotel with Smiths booked solid! / / Minnesota Jones: We'll never find her hanging around here. She could be anywhere in this vast, teeming metropolis, if she hasn't already skipped... http://irregularwebcomic.net/973.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #974 | Me: [[looking at a graph on computer screen]] Hmmm, this is interesting. / / Me: A histogram of the distribution of annual number of deaths due to improperly prepared fugu in Japan. / / Me: Interesting stats, but I don't understand why people would risk eating such a dangerous food. / / Me: I guess one man's... http://irregularwebcomic.net/974.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #975 | Iki Piki: Okay, forget technology. Is there some way we can travel to the afterlife to bring Paris back? / / Spanners: No, anything but that. The very idea fills me with dread. / / Iki Piki: Why? / / Spanners: It's just too Orpheal to consider. http://irregularwebcomic.net/975.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #976 | Head Death: Now think about what you have wrought. The horribly mutilated, the starving, the terminally ill, all caught in incredible and unending pain. / / Head Death: [[standing up from his seat at his desk]] Gangsters, insurgents, terrorists, and mass murderers getting up from fatal wounds to endlessly... http://irregularwebcomic.net/976.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #977 | [[scene: some sort of dungeon, with stone floor and walls]] / Mordekai: Ooh, my aching head.... Wh... where are we? / / Draak: We all drink much free booze and now we... / Lambert: ... are in some sort of dungeon? / / Kyros: Nothing to worry about. We've been in worse situations than this. / Mordekai: Right! / / Lambert:... http://irregularwebcomic.net/977.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #978 | [sound]: Knock! Knock! / / Steve: Crikey! D'you know how late it is? / / Charity Collector Guy: No, I'm collecting for people who don't know how to tell the time. / / Steve: Come back in the morning! / Charity Collector Guy: When's that? http://irregularwebcomic.net/978.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #979 | Monty: [[to Palast-Hotel reception clerk]] Wait a minute. What about Hvorostovsky? / Hotel Clerk: Dr Hvorostovsky we have. Room 203. / / Prof. Jones: Let's go wait for her in her room. / / Monty: Not in the lobby restaurant, dad? / / Prof. Jones: [[walking off to the lifts]] Room service, Junior. And it'll go on... http://irregularwebcomic.net/979.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #980 | Jamie: Adam, you should rest, after an experience like that. / / Jamie: Where are you going?! / Adam: Just something I have to take care of. / / [[Adam walks over to a sign on the wall which says "Nothing is certain but Death and Taxes"]] / / Adam: [[crossing off "Death"]] Myth busted! http://irregularwebcomic.net/980.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #981 | Iki Piki: Incoming e-mail. Hmmm... notice of a CyberSpace(TM) 7.1 software patch. / / [e-mail]: Dear CyberSpace 7.1 customer, Release 7.1 contained a bug that resulted in the consumption of several hundred petabytes of memory cube space under certain circumstances. This memory was used to temporarily store... http://irregularwebcomic.net/981.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #982 | Refractive Man: [[peering intently at a large flake of brown material]] My refractometric vision indicates this is cockroach chitin. / Captain Spatula: [[examining a dead fish ]]This fish was last flipped over at Johnson's Seafod Mart - the Hippo's old haunt. / Worm Master: [[concentrating]] Sea Dog's nematode... http://irregularwebcomic.net/982.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #983 | Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: [[defiantly to the Head Death]] You may have won this battle, sir, but the war for Deaths' rights has barely begun. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: I may once again be compelled to collect souls when they are ready... / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs:... http://irregularwebcomic.net/983.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #984 | GM: You're in a 20 foot by 20 foot stone room. A stout oaken door banded with iron affords the only visible egress. / / Kyros: He's dropped us into a commercial dungeon adventure. No GM makes up a sentence like that on the spot. / / GM: You know, it really hurts when I put all this effort into an adventure,... http://irregularwebcomic.net/984.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #985 | [[scene: The lobby of the Palast-Hotel in Kiev]] / Ginny: Curses! They're going to break into my room. Fortunately I have the orichalcum with me. / / Ginny: This makes it imperative that I get out of Kiev and back to Moscow as soon as possible. / / Ginny: But all transport links are cut by the weather. Still,... http://irregularwebcomic.net/985.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #986 | Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: Finance Minister! Visa and MasterCard just called. They said we have just the expertise they need! / / Nigerian Finance Minister: This is a proud moment for Nigeria! What do they want? / / Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: Their computers crashed and lost all their customer data. They... http://irregularwebcomic.net/986.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #987 | [[scene: Head Death's desk]] / Paris: So uploading this mindscan into a clone of me will work? I'll return to life? / Head Death: YES. / / Paris: What about the philosophical implications? My existence here in the afterlife is evidence of a non-material soul, independent of my body. / / Paris: Even if recreated... http://irregularwebcomic.net/987.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #988 | Ophelia: Mercutio, I need a word with you about the comments in the production source code. / / Ophelia: This is being released to clients. These swear words all through it are unacceptable. "Workaround needed because Windows is a piece of..." / / [[Will walks by and overhears the conversation]] / Mercutio:... http://irregularwebcomic.net/988.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #989 | Marcus: Eheu! / Julius: Quid est, Marce? / / Marcus: My mobile phone bill is astronomical, and I've no idea why! / Julius: Well... where have you been lately? / / Marcus: Hmm. Florentia, Octodurum, Lugdunum, Massilia, Burdigala, Mediolanum, Lutetia, Durocorturum, Londinium... / / Julius: Ah. You haven't been paying... http://irregularwebcomic.net/989.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #990 | [[scene: Second floor corridor of the Palast-Hotel, Kiev.]] / Minnesota Jones: Room 203. Now, if we can just break in. / / Prof. Jones: Let me try. Back when I knew Houdini, we used to do this sort of thing all the time. / / Monty: You knew Harry Houdini?! / / Prof. Jones: No, John Houdini, my college room-mate.... http://irregularwebcomic.net/990.html |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 >>