You're browsing the archives of Chronillogical.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| It Begins... After Lunch | Jen: Hmmm... / Milo: Hey Jen!! Lunch!
/ Roy: Lunch lunch lunch! / Jen: Hold on, let me shut this down first.
/ Milo: Ah, don't bother. No one cares. It'll be fine.
/ Roy: Quickly now, chop chop! Lunchward ho! / Jen: Seriously, just give me a sec.
/ Milo: Jen, look: are science experiments delicious?
/ Jen:... http://chronillogical.com/2008/06/10/it-begins-after-lunch/ |
| Failure At Life | Roy: So, how's the research going?
/ Jen: Well, it turns out all my work for the past year has been complete CRAP. But aside from that, everything's SUPER-PEACHY-KEEN.
/ Milo: Come now, Jen. You've only produced seven months of crap. Eight, max. / Roy: Oof. Well, look at it this way: the moment you guys... http://chronillogical.com/2008/06/13/failure-at-life/ |
| It's Mister Skeleton! | [Ext.: Mister Skeleton's restaurant] / Milo: So why didn't you want to eat here?
/ Jen: The manager just freaks me out. / Roy: Oh, give the guy a break. So he has a skin condition.
/ Jen: How can you have a skin condition without SKIN? / Roy: I'm sure—
/ Jen: ... OR ANY OTHER ORGANS?
/ Mr. Skeleton: Ahem / [Mr.... http://chronillogical.com/2008/06/20/its-mister-skeleton/ |
| Someone Keeps Moving My Explosion Machine | Roy: Guys, I think you forgot to turn off the explosion machine!
/ Jen & Milo: SHUT UP / Milo: Okay, Roy, stay here. I'm going to check the lab.
/ Jen: "CHECK THE LAB"? Oh, please, ALLOW ME. / Jen: Why, it appears as though the lab has suffered a MASSIVE EXISTENCE FAILURE! How INTERESTING! / Jen: This... http://chronillogical.com/2008/06/24/someone-keeps-moving-my-explosion-machine/ |
| Extraneously Obfuscatory Terminology | Jen: Put that down! / Roy: Why? Is it dangerous?
/ Jen: ... Just put it down. / Roy: At least tell me what it's called. You scientists always have fancy names for stuff. / Jen: We just call it—
/ Roy: "Temporal ectoplasm"! Yes? Or "epochal residue"! / Jen: Roy—
/ Roy: "High fructose chrono syrup"! / Milo:... http://chronillogical.com/2008/06/27/extraneously-obfuscatory-terminology/ |
| …Or A Seat, Or A Stand, Or The A-Train | Jen: Why are we running?
/ Milo: Oh, seems like the thing to do after you've stolen something. / Jen: Stole? We STOLE something?
/ Milo: We didn't steal anything! / Jen: But you said—
/ Milo: I said we TOOK something!
/ Jen: How is taking at all different? / Milo: It's like taking a nap! Or a break. We're... http://chronillogical.com/2008/07/01/or-a-seat-or-a-stand-or-the-a-train/ |
| It Gives Him Power | Dean: JEN! MILO!
/ Jen: Oh crap, it's the Dean! And he's got his jetpack with him! / Dean: STOP RIGHT THERE / [Roy, Milo, and Jen recoil] / [Dean SCREECHes to a halt] http://chronillogical.com/2008/07/04/it-gives-him-power/ |
| Maybe Some Duct Tape? | Dean: Milo! Jen! You ... Who are you? / Roy: I am a GIANT!
/ Dean: No! No you're not! Shut up! / Dean: What the HELL happened to my lab?!
/ Jen: Dean, there may have been a ... SMALL explosion. / Roy: Don't you mean ... GIGANTIC?
/ Jen: Please ignore him—he's an idiot.
/ Dean: I don't know about that;... http://chronillogical.com/2008/07/08/maybe-some-duct-tape/ |
| Dr. Harding, You Genius | Milo: You can't expel us, we quit!
/ Jen: What? No, we don't quit! / Jen: You can't just expel us like this! Isn't there a committee that decides this kind of stuff?
/ Dean: Yes, there used to be—before they all were zombified by Dr. Harding's BRAIN JUICER.
/ Milo: Oh yeah, I remember that... / Dean:... http://chronillogical.com/2008/07/15/dr-harding-you-genius/ |
| Traveling On A Budget | Jen: Where are you going? We still need to talk!
/ Dean: What? I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the deafening cacophony of me EXPELLING YOU. / Jen: But ... with all we've done for the university—
/ Dean: Jen, I've had it up to HERE with your PETULANT NINNERY! / Dean: And now that you're leaving, let's... http://chronillogical.com/2008/07/18/traveling-on-a-budget/ |
| I Don't Recommend The Stabbing District | Milo: Hot damn!
/ Roy: You see that sucker fly?
/ Milo: That's a mean left hook you got there.
/ Roy: Can you see where he's going? / Milo: Looks like he's headed for Shivtown.
/ Roy: Oh. Ooh.
/ Milo: Well. Let's wave goodbye to academia, Jen. / Jen: Oh God, what have I DONE?! / Jen: [running down the... http://chronillogical.com/2008/07/22/i-dont-recommend-the-stabbing-district/ |
| SDCC: We Have Seen The Future | Caption: At the "How to Tell a Story" panel...
/ Panelist: In order to tell an interesting story, your characters have to grow, they have to change. / Greg: I have a brilliant idea that will revolutionize the newspaper comics industry. / [[A shot of a panel of the newspaper comic "Blondie".]]
/ Caption:... http://chronillogical.com/2008/07/25/sdcc-we-have-seen-the-future/ |
| It Is A Very Good Jar | Roy: So what now? You wanna play some Skee-ball?
/ Milo: No time for Skee-ball! I've got to put all this stuff somewhere. Notes, designs, black hole in a jar, snacks ... I'm ready to go build me some time machines. / [Roy stares at Milo]
/ Milo: What? What is it? / Roy: ... Black hole?
/ Milo: Yeah, in... http://chronillogical.com/2008/08/01/it-is-a-very-good-jar/ |
| Hazardously Clean | Milo: Soy Roy, do you mind if I set some of this stuff up at your house?
/ Roy: Uh ... yeah, kinda. Why can't you use your own place? / Milo: It blew up.
/ Roy: That seems unlikely.
/ Milo: Unlikely? You just saw it happen!
/ Roy: Wait. So you LIVED in the LAB? / Roy: Because—IF SO—that would make you... http://chronillogical.com/2008/08/05/hazardously-clean/ |
| Adventure Thru Personal Space | Roy: Fine, you can stay with me. Just... keep that black hole thing away from my hat collection, I guess. / Milo: [hugging Roy] Aw, jeeze—thanks, Roy! You're the best. / Roy: Please ... please stop touching me. / MEANWHILE / [A sign: Welcome to Shivtown! Stabbing Capital of the World]
/ Jen: What... http://chronillogical.com/2008/08/08/adventure-thru-personal-space/ |
| Sharp Economic Inquiry | Jen: Excuse me, but have you seen a tiny man anywhere? A furious tiny man crashing through your ceiling. He has a jetpack.
/ Shivtown Shopkeep: Hmmm ...no, no tiny men 'round here, ma'am. / Jen: Figures. Well, thanks anyway.
/ Shivtown Shopkeep: Before you go, could I interest you in a stabbing? / Jen:... http://chronillogical.com/2008/08/12/sharp-economic-inquiry/ |
| Meow Mix | Jen: I can't believe I couldn't find a single piece of the dean. This is so bad. This is the worst. / Leonard: Oh, hey Jen!
/ Jen: ... Leonard. / Leonard: So, how've you been? Yeah, so, I read this pretty interesting book yesterday about time travel.
/ Jen: Was it THE TIME MACHINE?
/ Leonard: No, I don't... http://chronillogical.com/2008/08/15/meow-mix/ |
| Again, Try The Duct Tape | [outside Jen's apartment]
/ Leonard: Oh, uh, Jen, before you go in there, you should really know—
/ Jen: Leonard, if you're asking to trade Pokémon, I'm really not in the mood. / [Jen opens the door with a CREEEEEAK and sees her apartment, destroyed and littered with debris] / Jen: WHO DID THIS? DID... http://chronillogical.com/2008/08/19/again-try-the-duct-tape/ |
| A Very Tidy Apocalypse | Roy: So, Milo. I'm sort of concerned that there's a black hole in my trunk.
/ Milo: Like I said: you don't have to fret, as it is in a protective jar.
/ Roy: But you opened it. Shouldn't you not do that?
/ Milo: Not to worry! I only displaced the lid in three of the jar's eleven dimensions. / Roy: So it's... http://chronillogical.com/2008/08/22/a-very-tidy-apocalypse/ |
| That Darn Cassie | Roy: Just be careful with this time travel nonsense. Knowledge of the future can be dangerous. I'm reminded of the story of Cassandra—
/ Milo: Yeah, I know it.
/ Radio: Sources say an enormous explosion at Micimek University has claimed five physics professors... / Roy: No, see, Cassandra was a prophetess... http://chronillogical.com/2008/08/26/that-darn-cassie/ |
| Bric-A-BRAC | Milo: You don't actually live here, do you? What is this, a warehouse?
/ Roy: It is an AIRFIELD, simpleton. I live in the old control tower yonder. / Milo: How could you afford something like this? Did you strangle a leprechaun?
/ Roy: Almost. After the BRAC commission shut down this place in the 90s,... http://chronillogical.com/2008/08/29/bric-a-brac/ |
| Raid-ing The Premises | Roy: Move in anywhere you want. Except, of course, the top of the tower, for that is Mission Control, the nerve center of CASA DE ROY. It is my personal Cockaigne, my Shangri-La—my Laughing Place, if you will.
/ Milo: Eh? / Roy: My room is there.
/ Milo: Oh. Funzies. Ooh, hey! Can I set up in one of these... http://chronillogical.com/2008/09/02/raid-ing-the-premises/ |
| Beep Boop Bop | Leonard: You know, you're laways welcome to ... live with me. Up at my place.
/ Jen: No, no, don't trouble yourself. I have better places in mind. Less IRRITATING ones.
/ [Jen dials her phone: *beep boop bop*] / *ring ring...*
/ *ring ring...*
/ KRREEEGH
/ *CRASH!* / Jen: ... Roy?
/ Roy [on the phone]: Hey... http://chronillogical.com/2008/09/05/beep-boop-bop/ |
| Far Out Mantis Mush | Jen: Are you guys alright? On the phone you sounded a little—uhh...
/ Roy: [covered in goo] What? We're just spring cleaning.
/ Milo: [covered in goo] By any chance, do you need a nine-foot-tall exoskeleton? / Jen: For...?
/ Milo: Body armor? Puppetry? Anyway, it's there if you need it. Hmm... [Milo licks... http://chronillogical.com/2008/09/09/far-out-mantis-mush/ |
| Seriously Now | Jen: Okay, seriously. I'm moving in.
/ Roy: Okay, seriously. No.
/ Jen: What the hell! Stop being a dick. / Roy: Jen, look at how I've let Milo stay with me. I am a paragon of charity.
/ Jen: You're a paragon of WISEASS.
/ Roy: ... And normally, I'd give as much as I could. But there just isn't any ROOM... http://chronillogical.com/2008/09/12/seriously-now/ |
| Excessively Delicious Madness | [Int. Roy's room]
/ Jen: Knock knock.
/ Roy: Hmm? / Jen: All moved in. It might've taken longer if most of my stuff hadn't been INCINERATED.
/ Roy: How convenient! See? There's an upside to every story! Every horrible, horrible story. / Roy: So what will you do now?
/ Jen: Probably head back to Micimek... http://chronillogical.com/2008/09/16/excessively-delicious-madness/ |
| From the Files: A Classicist's Petition To Hollywood | [Roy has scrawled the following scenes onto a legal pad] / [A rugged action hero torches a group of skulls with his flamethrower; plumes of smoke rise from the mountain in the background]
/ Prometheus II: Unbound
/ He's tasted revenge and it tastes like liver / [A T-Rex cringes in horror at the brooch... http://chronillogical.com/2008/09/19/a-classicists-petition-to-hollywood/ |
| Fuzzy Madness | [[Milo is pushing in a large piece of equipment, presumably a Lorenzian Manifold Projector. He is stuffing to a stuffed bear.]]
/ Milo: Hey Stanley, I'm back with a shiny new toy! / Milo: It's a Lorenzian Manifold Projector.
/ Milo: I borrowed it. From Argonne.
/ Milo: Yes, they said it was fine. Or at... http://chronillogical.com/2008/09/23/fuzzy-madness/ |
| Fuzzy Justice | Milo: Stanley, the council has reached its verdict.
/ Milo: Before we proceed, any last remarks? / [[A shot of Stanley propped up on an unadorned wooden chair, bathed in the harsh light of a bare lightbulb.]] / Milo: Well, I'm sorry, but you should have considered that before immigrating to the Most... http://chronillogical.com/2008/09/26/fuzzy-justice/ |
| Please, Mr. Postman | Roy: So! You ever make it back to Micimek?
/ Jen: Yeah, I argued for readmission... They just pointed silently at Hibbard Lab's cratered remains. / Roy: A-ha. Well if it helps, I saved you a trip to the post office.
/ Roy: The towers of our lives may succumb to shifting sands, but a postman's missive... http://chronillogical.com/2008/09/30/please-mr-postman/ |