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| Episode 151: I Love the Smell of Plasma in the Morning | Ric Olié: There's the Trade Federation headquarters, on the scanner. / R2-D2: Finally, something to blow up! / [SFX]: < bip bing poppity > / Jar Jar: Nosa. If theysa has da Orb, theysa protected. Wesa needs to get da Gungans to help. / Obi-Wan: And if we alert the Trade Federation, they might start killing civilians. / R2-D2: Oh come on! Can we at least strafe the planet? / [SFX]: < bloop poppity bebedooby ping > / Obi-Wan: I hate to bring up the civilians again... / Jar Jar: Land nearsa Otoh Gunga. / Ric Olié: Right you are, commander. / R2-D2: Let me clear a landing site. / [SFX]: < doop bleep dooby > / R2-D2: I'll recalibrate the ion cannons. / [SFX]: < beep whrooop > http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0151.html |
| Episode 152: Miss Communication | Qui-Gon: So Annie's in your drama class? She's really good at the roleplaying stuff. / Obi-Wan: Yeah. I wasn't sure if she'd be into it. / Qui-Gon: Great idea of yours to bring her along. / Obi-Wan: She was the only one who didn't laugh when I said I took the class to improve my gaming skills. / Qui-Gon: Does her... boyfriend go to the drama class too? / Obi-Wan: She... Oh, Sally, that was quick. / Jar Jar: Mesa brungs da snacks! When da others getting here? / Obi-Wan: Any minute. Ah, there's Pete now. / R2-D2: Hey guys. Oooh, jelly babies. / Obi-Wan: So Jim, er... regarding our earlier conversation... Were you interested? / Qui-Gon: In what? / Obi-Wan: In... that game... with that person? They aren't in a game at the moment. / R2-D2: Game? What game? / Qui-Gon: Why would I start another game? This one's exciting enough! http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0152.html |
| Episode 153: The Will of a Mere Wisp | GM: Right, everyone ready? Jar Jar is back from Otoh Gunga. / Obi-Wan: So will the Gungans join forces with us? / Jar Jar: Gungans not there! / GM: What? / Jar Jar: Theysa gone! To da secret hidey place in da swamp. / GM: Swamp? / Obi-Wan: They abandoned the safety of their underwater city, to go to a place where the droid army can reach them? / Qui-Gon: There's obviously a brilliant plan behind it. / Jar Jar: Wesa making explody soap bubbles for da big fight! / GM: What? / R2-D2: Using swamp gas, right? Totally workable. / Qui-Gon: Yeah, cool. The gas transfer equations support it. / GM: http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0153.html |
| Episode 154: Du, Where's My Kaa? | Jar Jar: Da secret hidey place is dissa way. / Qui-Gon: Lead on! / R2-D2: [[aside]] First sand, now mud... / GM: Captain Tarpals meets you, riding on a kaadu— / Obi-Wan: What's a kaadu? / Qui-Gon: A small Russian motorbike modified with skids for snow travel. / Jar Jar: No, silly! It's a baby dinosaur pony! / R2-D2: [[aside]] Should have let me bake it from orbit... / GM: —and escorts you past ranks of Gungans into a clearing, where Boss Nass awaits. / Jar Jar: Theysa lookin' mighty hungry. / Boss Nass: Ah, da Jedi! Did yousa bring back my bongo? / Qui-Gon: What's a bongo? / Obi-Wan: It's a kind of fishing lure. http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0154.html |
| Episode 155: Queen's Gambit | GM: Queen Amidala steps forward and— / Qui-Gon: Who? / GM: The Queen. You know. The... Queen. / Qui-Gon: We sold her to get weapons, didn't we? / Queen Amidala: Oh great Boss Nass, the humans of Naboo need your help to defeat the evil Trade Federation. Will you help Us? / Boss Nass: Nosa. / [[beat]] / R2-D2: We're screwed. / [SFX]: < doosquee bebebloop > / Obi-Wan: Right, it's up to us then. / Qui-Gon: Oh, that's right... it was her clothes we sold. / R2-D2: Don't make me repeat myself. / [SFX]: < doosquee bebebloop > / Queen Amidala: Help Us, Jar Jar Binks. You're Our only hope. / R2-D2: Only Hope!!! http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0155.html |
| Episode 156: Soylent Auction | Boss Nass: Jar Jar? What yousa has to say? / Jar Jar: Muy muy. Mesa thinks yousa should be helpin', because these issa good peoples. / Boss Nass: Hmmm. Does you has a plan? / Jar Jar: Wesa join forces with da Naboo and fights da droids and beats dem. / Jar Jar: Then wesa gets da Lost Orb back from da Trade Federation! / Boss Nass: Good plan, Jar Jar. Okay, wesa helpin' you. / Jar Jar: Not so fast! Yousa should demand payment! / Obi-Wan: Um... / Boss Nass: Good thinking, Jar Jar! What do you suggest? / Jar Jar: Ten peoples a day! Da Gungans never has to worry about food again! / Boss Nass: Hmmm. What say yousa Jedi? / Qui-Gon: Six people a day! / Obi-Wan: What?! / Anakin: It's a small price to pay for freedom. / Qui-Gon: I roll a 15 on Bargaining! / R2-D2: Should have countered with four a day. http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0156.html |
| Episode 157: Regina ex Machina | Obi-Wan: Is everyone in this party insane? We can't bargain the lives of innocent humans on this! / R2-D2: Yeah we can. / Obi-Wan: Queen Amidala is their leader. It's up to her. / Queen Amidala: I... er... / Qui-Gon: I'll decide. 1-3: we don't bargain with human lives— / Padmé: [[stepping forward]] Great Boss Nass. I am the real Queen Amidala. / Padmé: This is my loyal decoy. / Qui-Gon: I rolled a 17. / Qui-Gon: Wait... What?! / Obi-Wan: Aha! I knew it. / R2-D2: You knew?? Why didn't you tell us? / Obi-Wan: I knew, but Obi-Wan didn't. / [[beat]] / Qui-Gon: I don't follow. / R2-D2: So... you don't follow or Qui-Gon doesn't follow? / [[beat panel: Qui-Gon really confused]] http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0157.html |
| Episode 158: Queen As Mustard | Padmé: I cannot allow my people to be used as food. But I offer myself if you will help save them. / Jar Jar: [[aside]] Mmmm... Royal jelly. / Obi-Wan: You can't sacrifice yourself. There must be another way. / [[beat]] / R2-D2: Well? / Obi-Wan: [[aside]] Unfortunately they probably don't eat metal. / Qui-Gon: Wait!! Do they eat giant fish? / Anakin: Boss Nass, the Gungans can't get to the Trade Federation's orbital headquarters without our help. / Boss Nass: Whysa we caring about that? / Anakin: That's where your Orb is. It'd be a shame if someone's fighters accidentally destroyed it. / Boss Nass: Hmmm. / Boss Nass: When yousa put it that way... Wesa be helping you. / Qui-Gon: Cool. In that case, do you know where the Lost Orb of Phantasmic Opulence is? / Boss Nass: Um. Yes. / Obi-Wan: Seriously, man. Focus. http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0158.html |
| Episode 159: MacGeyser | Boss Nass: Jar Jar, whatsa yousa battle plans? / Jar Jar: Okay. Wesa know da droids don't work underwater. / Jar Jar: So wesa make big bubbles around da Gungan army and fills them with water! / Jar Jar: Gungans okay, but if da droids come near wesa, theysa 'splode! / Obi-Wan: How are you going to fill a hemispherical force field with water? That would take— / Qui-Gon: The geysers! Jar Jar, you're brilliant! / Qui-Gon: We take the battlefield just before high tide. / Jar Jar: And when da bubbles full of water, wesa breaks them. Da flood destroys da droid army! / Jar Jar: Kaboomies!! / R2-D2: That might actually work. / [SFX]: < tong fop-jing > / Obi-Wan: Astromech droids should be back in the ship, not out here in a swamp. / R2-D2: Do you see any paper in this universe? Someone has to project this stupid hologram for you! / [SFX]: < squee bop pading boodle bebebedooby ping bedoop bleeping bop > http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0159.html |
| Episode 160: They May Take Our Advice | Obi-Wan: Right then. While the Gungans hold off the droid army, we take a strike force to infiltrate the palace and capture the Trade Federation leaders. / Qui-Gon: You mean that Goatee Guy! We'll rough him up until he tells us where the Lost Emerald of Castafiore is. / Panaka: We can force the army to stand down, and wait for the Republic fleet to arrive. / Obi-Wan: Then we don't need to attack the heavily guarded orbital headquarters. / R2-D2: You're kidding, right? / Qui-Gon: But think of the XP! / Padmé: We can get into the palace by this route. / R2-D2: Let me guess. Up an exterior wall and in a window? / Padmé: No, through the hangar. We should be able to take out any guards. / R2-D2: Damn. / Obi-Wan: You can drink some beer without waiting for an RPG trope, you know. / R2-D2: That's no fun! http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0160.html |
| Episode 161: ... But They'll Never Take Our Giant Dinosaur Ponies!! | Jar Jar: Listen up, Gungans! / Jar Jar: Wesa outnumbered and outgunned. Thissa fight bein' tough. / Jar Jar: Mesa thinkin' many of yousa bein' afraid. Mesa been afraid before. Mesa bein' scared of heights. / Jar Jar: But mesa had lots of adventures and learnin' heights not so scary. / Jar Jar: Droids not so scary either! Look at Artoo... / Jar Jar: well, yousa can't see him now, but he'sa short and cuddly. / Jar Jar: And wesa has a secret weapon! Wesa brave! / Jar Jar: Don't worry if yousa fail. Yousa gets to roll again. / Jar Jar: And makes sure yousa takes the +2 flanking manoeuvre whenever yousa has initiative! / Jar Jar: If a droid attacks yousa, take an immediate feint and counter-strike action, because that gives yousa +1 to hit without sacrificing yousa next turn's defence bonus. / GM: Pete's been coaching you, hasn't he, Sally? / Jar Jar: He'sa so smart! / R2-D2: The cuddly part was all her. http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0161.html |
| Episode 162: Mean Queen, Fightin' Machine | Qui-Gon: ... and then R2 can project a hologram of me behind the droids to distract them— / R2-D2: My projector range is only 10 metres. / Obi-Wan: Hmm. Is that tree within 10 metres? / Qui-Gon: Annie, you check the ventilation ducts and see if you can disable the security system. / Anakin: Is that before or after I set up the mirrors? / Obi-Wan: Wait until I'm on the roof, otherwise they'll spot me. / R2-D2: Shouldn't someone competent climb the vines? / Obi-Wan: Hands up everyone who has hands. / Qui-Gon: Right. If we're all ready, I'll walk up and Bluff the droids. / R2-D2: Wait! / R2-D2: Can we lure one around the corner and use it as a disguise? / Qui-Gon: We'll have to rethink the mirror placement... / Padmé: Oh for crying out... [[steps out and opens fire on a droid]] / [SFX]: Blam! / [SFX]: Krapow! [[droid explodes]] / Qui-Gon: [[running after Padmé]] Ooh. She's dual-classed? / R2-D2: Apparently she's a Monarch/Rogue. http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0162.html |
| Episode 163: Hangar Bout | GM: You fight your way into the hangar. / Obi-Wan: Are there any ships in here? / GM: Yes, the Naboo palace fighter squadron. / Qui-Gon: Great, we take them all. / GM: The controls are highly specialised. Only trained fighter pilots can fly them. / R2-D2: [[aside]] Pity none of you have fighter pilot software. / Qui-Gon: We'll sell them later. / Obi-Wan: Wait, what happened to all those pilots we rescued when we were last here? / GM: Err... / Obi-Wan: They've just been sitting in the ship since we left Naboo, haven't they? / Qui-Gon: They make a diversionary attack on the space HQ! / [[beat]] / [[Pilots suddenly appear running through the hangar to their ships]] / Ric Olié: There's our fighters. / Pilot 1: Finally! Some action! / Pilot 2: Three weeks stuck in that ship. / Pilot 3: I was going nuts. / Pilot 4: Damnit, I had three aces. / R2-D2: They get to fly into a suicide space battle?? http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0163.html |
| Episode 164: Beaten By A Sprue | GM: The droid army's heavy weapons can't penetrate the Gungan force field. / R2-D2: Awesome. / Jar Jar: Yay! Now wesa just has to wait for da geysers. / GM: Droid troop carriers arrive and start disgorging thousands of combat droids. / Jar Jar: Thissa not so good. / R2-D2: That's... a lot of minis. Want a hand separating them from the sprues? / GM: No, they're marching in formation. / [[droids start walking through the bubble wall]] / [SFX]: [[droid army chanting]] We are badass through and through! / [SFX]: [[droid army chanting]] Now it's time to take Naboo! / GM: By the way, the force field design you gave me didn't include the "low velocity impacts" enhancement. / R2-D2: Nobody ever needs that! / [[droids begin firing]] / Captain Tarpals: Hold da line! / Jar Jar: Protect da shield generators! / [SFX]: [[droid army chanting]] We are tougher than the Hutts! / [SFX]: [[droid army chanting]] We will kick these Gungans' butts! / R2-D2: And it would have put the dinosaur ponies over their encumbrance limit! / Obi-Wan: Great saving throw versus admitting you screwed up. http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0164.html |
| Episode 165: The Narm Before The Storm | Qui-Gon: We should split up. / GM: Oh god... / Qui-Gon: We'll storm the palace and get Goatee Guy. Jar Jar, you take— / Obi-Wan: Jar Jar's holding off the droid army on the battlefield. / Qui-Gon: Right. Annie, you take that fighter and infiltrate the orbital samurai hideout. / Anakin: Um— / Qui-Gon: Your job is to assassinate the space samurai boss. / Obi-Wan: Oh, sure. Why don't you get her to single-handedly destroy the base, and deactivate the Lost Orb and bring it back while she's at it? / Qui-Gon: Ooh, yeah, good idea. Do that too. / Anakin: But I'm just a boy! / R2-D2: Don't worry, kid. I'll drive. http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0165.html |
| Episode 166: Bubble's Stubble, Foil is Double; Qui-Gon Learns that Maul is Trouble | Qui-Gon: Come on, Bubble! Show your traitorous goateed face! / GM: The door opens to reveal a figure in a black robe. You recognise him as the guy you attacked while escaping from Tatooine. / Qui-Gon: The bounty hunter! We draw our swords! / Obi-Wan: Wait... how did he get here? / Qui-Gon: He followed us, obviously. That's what bounty hunters do. / Obi-Wan: But how— / Black-Robed Figure: Out of my way, Jedi. / Qui-Gon: Attack!! / Obi-Wan: No, wai— / Qui-Gon: I roll a 19! / GM: He fires up his red laser sword. / Qui-Gon: All right, we've got him this time. Two of us to one of him! / GM: Did I mention it's a double-ended laser sword? / Qui-Gon: I knew we should have bought the 10-foot laser poles! http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0166.html |
| Episode 167: Split Second Decision | Qui-Gon: We'll handle the bounty hunter. Queenie, you go to the throne room. / Padmé: He's blocking the way! / Qui-Gon: Use your Rogue skills. Climb up a wall or something. / Padmé: Hmmm, all right then. Guards, this way! / Qui-Gon: Right, do I hit? / GM: Huh? / Qui-Gon: The 19 I rolled. / GM: That was five minutes ago. / Qui-Gon: I had to think about our tactics and tell the Queen what to do. / GM: In between launching an attack and seeing if that attack hits? / Qui-Gon: Coming up with detailed battle plans and discussing them don't require any time or concentration! / [[beat]] / R2-D2: Don't look at me. You're all thinking it. http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0167.html |
| Episode 168: Sparring Partners | [[the black cloaked figure parries Qui-Gon's laser sword blow (that he initiated two strips ago)]] / [SFX]: Kzzrzkk!! / [[laser sword fighting between the Jedi and the mysterious cloaked figure]] / [SFX]: Whooom!! / [SFX]: Whooom!! / [SFX]: Whooom!! / [SFX]: Whooom!! / [SFX]: Whooom!! / [[R2-D2 and Anakin have a conversation in the Naboo fighter while the Jedi fight the mysterious figure in the background]] / R2-D2: So, you and me, eh? Ah, what the hell. Got a boyfriend? / Anakin: Yes. / R2-D2: Is that in fact a lie to dissuade me while sparing my feelings? / Anakin: No, not at all. / R2-D2: Oh. / [[Droidekas enter hangar, pinning Padmé, Captain Panaka, and their troops under fire]] / [SFX]: Pow! Pow! Pow! / Anakin: The last part didn't come into it. / R2-D2: Ah. Right. Fair enough. / [SFX]: [[more laser sword fighting in background]] Kzzrzkk!! / [SFX]: Whooom!! / [SFX]: Whooom!! / [SFX]: Kzzrzkk!! / Padmé: We're pinned down! / [SFX]: Kzzrzkk!! / Anakin: You took that surprisingly well. / R2-D2: See those combat droids?... / [SFX]: Whooom!! [[the Jedi drive the mysterious cloaked figure back into an open doorway]] / [SFX]: [[R2-D2 fires the fighter's guns at the droidekas]] Kapow! Kapow! / [SFX]: Kaboom!! [[droideka blows up]] http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0168.html |
| Episode 169: A Little Brunt-work | [[Free from the pinning fire of the droidekas R2-D2 destroyed, Padmé and the guards race off into the palace]] / R2-D2: All right, the Queen's safe. Let's take off. / Anakin: No, let's wait until the other fighters have taken the brunt of the defences. / R2-D2: Taking the brunt is half the fun! / [[the ship takes off and an ion cannon shoots at it]] / [SFX]: Vrrrow! / [SFX]: Kzzzow... / [SFX]: vreeeeoooWWWW!! / Anakin: What are you doing?! Take us back! / R2-D2: Out here in the space battle is where all the action is. This is what I was built for. / Anakin: [[putting on a helmet]] Stop being so macho! / [[fighters fly through space towards the Trade Federation headquarters ship]] / [SFX]: Vooom... / [SFX]: Vooom... / [[a fighter gets destroyed by a shot from enemy fighters]] / [SFX]: Kzzzow... / [SFX]: Kabooom! / R2-D2: Nobody's ever called me macho before... / Obi-Wan: [[in the laser sword fight]] I never would have guessed... http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0169.html |
| Episode 170: Maul, Interrupted | [SFX]: [[Qui-Gon attacks]] 13! / [SFX]: Krrzzkzk! / Black-Robed Figure: Look, I just want to— / [SFX]: [[Qui-Gon attacks]] 8! / [SFX]: Krrzrzk! / Black-Robed Figure: If you'll just— / [SFX]: [[Qui-Gon attacks]] 16! / [SFX]: Krrzrzk! / Obi-Wan: Hey Qui-Gon! / Qui-Gon: Yeah, I know, that was a great move! Annie, are you watching this? / Obi-Wan: No, I— / [SFX]: Kick! / [[the mysterious robed figure kicks, Obi-Wan falls off the platform and hangs on precariously]] / Black-Robed Figure: Can I talk?! / Qui-Gon: Talk to the laser sword! http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0170.html |
| Episode 171: The Goggles, They Do Nothing | R2-D2: Let's do a spin, that's a cool move. / GM: R2, you detect incoming fighters on your tail. / R2-D2: Incoming fighters on our tail! / GM: Okay, you've been getting away with this long enough. That's definitely in character. Beeping only. / [SFX]: < doing bing bak-jing > / Anakin: What's that R2? Timmy's trapped down a gravity well? / R2-D2: Ha. Ha. / [SFX]: Kaboom! [[R2 blows up a fighter]] / Ric Oli?: That's a hit! / Anakin: How are we going to get the Orb? / [SFX]: < bip bing poppity > / Anakin: What was that? / Ric Oli?: It sounds like he's beeping in droid language! / Anakin: You want me to eject you into space? / [SFX]: < boop! > < boop! > < boop! > / Anakin: So that's a yes? / [SFX]: < BOOP! > http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0171.html |
| Episode 172: Maxwell's Force Field | Black-Robed Figure: Can I get a word— / [SFX]: 18!! / [SFX]: Whooom! / [SFX]: Krzrzrkkk! / [SFX]: 6!!! / GM: Oh for crying out— / [[force fields appear, separating the combatants]] / Black-Robed Figure: Right, now I can finally talk. / Obi-Wan: Force fields? What on earth are these here for? / GM: Airlock. / Obi-Wan: Why are there so many of them? / GM: Um... it's a redundant system. / Obi-Wan: But we're in an atmosphere. / GM: ... They do vacuum testing of fighters in the hangar. / Obi-Wan: The hangar with the huge open-air entrance? / GM: It also has a force field. / Obi-Wan: I wonder why the Trade Federation didn't raise it to trap our fighters. / GM: It... blocks air but lets metal through. / Qui-Gon: I disguise myself as a robot and walk through! 17 for Bluff! / GM: No. http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0172.html |
| Episode 173: Utter Lunacy | Black-Robed Figure: Listen you fools! I have to get up to the Trade Federation headquarters! / Obi-Wan: What for? / Qui-Gon: To bring our heads to his evil masters, no doubt. / Black-Robed Figure: Do you chumps think the Lost Orb is just some fancy MacGuffin? Look, do you know what they're planning to do with it? / Black-Robed Figure: They're going to foil the Gungan battle plans! / Qui-Gon: Not listening! Lah lah lah... / Obi-Wan: How? / Qui-Gon: It's a trick! Don't listen to him! / Black-Robed Figure: They're going to blow up the moon! / Obi-Wan: WHAT?! / Qui-Gon: Now that... is the silliest thing I have ever heard. http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0173.html |
| Episode 174: im in ur bubble, killin ur gunganz | [[Scenes of destruction on the battlefield as the Gungans and the droid army engage in fierce combat.]] / [[The droids blow up a shield generator on the back of one of the giant dinosaur ponies, letting the droid tanks into the battle.]] / Captain Tarpals: General Jar Jar! Thissa fight not going so good! / Jar Jar: Use da explodey soap bubbles! / [[The Gungan troops launch explodey soap bubbles at Jar Jar's command.]] / Combat Droid 1: Danger! Danger! / [[A soap bubble hits a droid tank, releasing electric mosquitoes which short out the tank and cause it to crash.]] / [[The droids, however, are overwhelming the Gungans through sheer force of numbers.]] / Jar Jar: Wesa needs some help to squash thesa droids! / Qui-Gon: [[off-screen]] I cast Summon Bigger Fish. / GM: You're not there! You're in the laser sword fight in the palace! / Qui-Gon: Oh, darn! / Obi-Wan: That's your reason for not letting him do that?? / Jar Jar: When are da geysers gonna erupt...? / [[The droids start getting the upper hand in the battle.]] / Combat Droid 2: Man, these Gungans are feeble. / Combat Droid 3: When are we gonna get a stand-up fight and not just another bughunt? http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0174.html |
| Episode 175: Grinding to a Halt | [SFX]: Kabooom! [[R2 destroying an enemy fighter]] / R2-D2: Take that, sucker! / Anakin: There's the headquarters ship. Fly into the hangar. / GM: It's protected by a force field. / Anakin: That'd be one of those ones that keeps air in and lets ships through, right? / GM: ... Yeeess. Of course. / [[they land in the hangar]] / R2-D2: So... The Trade Federation didn't buy the force field enhancement either, huh? / Anakin: Right. Let's get out and find the Orb. / R2-D2: Wait, there are droids out there. Let me kill them first. / Combat Droid 1: Some cushy post this turned out to be. / [SFX]: Kabooom! / [SFX]: Kabooom! / Combat Droid 2: Join the Trade Federation, they said. See the Galaxy, they said. / [SFX]: Kabooom! http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0175.html |
| Episode 176: Strictly Maul-room | GM: The force fields deactivate for two rounds. / [SFX]: Whoom! / Qui-Gon: Attack! I use the spin-thrust manoeuvre! 14! / [SFX]: Krrzrzrkk! / Obi-Wan: No! Wait! Listen to him! / Qui-Gon: Reverse parry! Critical! / [SFX]: Whoom! / GM: A critical parry, huh? / Qui-Gon: Yeah, he hits himself! / GM: Let me just look that up... / Obi-Wan: Do I make it past the force fields? / GM: It's eighteen hexes. See if you're fast enough. / Obi-Wan: Ah. I don't think I make it. / GM: The last force field cuts you off from the fight. / Qui-Gon: You and me, bounty hunter! Bring it on! / [SFX]: Whoom! Whoom! / GM: He rolls a critical pirouette. / [SFX]: Krrzrzrkk! / Qui-Gon: Oooh! I'm learning that when I level up! http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0176.html |
| Episode 177: Let Qui-Gons be Bygones | Qui-Gon: I cast Suggestion to make him stop parrying my blows. / Obi-Wan: For the last time, it's not magic. Don't say, "I cast such-and-such". Use the Force, you idiot! / GM: He rolls a 20 to hit! You need to Parry at -3. / Qui-Gon: Ooops. / Obi-Wan: What? / R2-D2: What? / Anakin: What?! / Qui-Gon: I rolled a 1. / [[the mysterious black-robed figure stabs Qui-Gon]] / [[long drawn-out silence as Qui-Gon collapses to the ground, accompanied by a horrified reaction by Obi-Wan]] / R2-D2: Should have pre-rolled the ones out. http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0177.html |
| Episode 178: That's No Moon | Captain Tarpals: Wesa outnumbered! / Jar Jar: Wesa has to fight on. Throw mesa da explodey soap bubble! / GM: Captain Tarpals throws badly. Make a fumble check. / Jar Jar: 14! / GM: You catch it. / Jar Jar: Mesa throws it at da driver droid! / GM: The tank careens out of control. / Captain Tarpals: General Jar Jar! Look! The moon! It's asplode! / Jar Jar: Oh nosa! Everyone take cover! / [[Jar Jar hides under a vehicle]] / R2-D2: So much for the geysers. We're screwed. / Jar Jar: Wesa surrender! Gungans, lay down yousa weapons! / Combat Droid 1: All right! / Combat Droid 2: Now we can all go back to the drop-ship for a pint of oil. / Captain Tarpals: Mesa knew we couldn't win... / Jar Jar: [[softly, to Tarpals]] It'sa okay. Wesa take them by surprise later. Mesa knows how to make them break down. / Obi-Wan: I don't think droids eat sashimi, Sally. http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0178.html |
| Episode 179: The Cliffhanger | Black-Robed Figure: For pity's sake, listen to me, kid! / R2-D2: Listen to him! / Obi-Wan: Noooo! You killed my master! / GM: The force field deactivates again. / Obi-Wan: Arrrhhh! [[attacks]]} / R2-D2: Great time to stick to character roleplaying. / [[Obi-Wan keeps fighting]] / [SFX]: Whooom! / [SFX]: Krrzzrzrk! / [[The black-robed figure pushes him into the pit]] / [SFX]: Shove! / [[Obi-Wan is hanging precariously and the black-robed figure appears at the edge of the pit to glower over him]] / Black-Robed Figure: Well, now I've got you where I want you... / Black-Robed Figure: Name's Maul. Darth Maul, Private Detective. I'd give you my card, but... well, y'know. http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0179.html |
| Episode 180: Minus Seven and the Ragged Tiger | Obi-Wan: So you weren't out to kill us? / Darth Maul: What? No. I'm on the trail of the Lost Orb. I'd have nailed it a lot earlier if you boobs hadn't been larking around for a week on that desert planet. / Darth Maul: I finally tracked you down but— / Obi-Wan: [[realising]] We thought you were a bounty hunter... / Qui-Gon: [[dying]] Working for Bubble! / Darth Maul: No no no, I work for Senator Palpatine. / Obi-Wan: We're on the same side... / Darth Maul: And now you've ruined everything! / Obi-Wan: Why are we hanging around here then? We need to go stop the Trade Federation blowing up the moon! / Darth Maul: You schmuck. It's too late now! You're a Jedi; didn't you feel that disturbance in the Force a minute ago? / Obi-Wan: I must have been distracted by you killing my master. / Qui-Gon: I'm still on -7 hit points. Hey, can I Summon... / Qui-Gon: No wait, I punch him in the foot! / GM: While you're unconscious and bleeding? / Qui-Gon: It's a reflex. http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0180.html |
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