You're browsing the archives of Darths & Droids.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Episode 181: The Anagnorisis Begins Darth Maul: Listen, kid, you're obviously in over your head. I dunno what you think you know, but here's the gen, straight from the horse's mouth. / Darth Maul: [[voiceover, flashback shot of Palpatine and Maul talking on Coruscant]] "Palpatine hired me to do some digging into this Lost Orb. I used...
Episode 182: Looking for Trouble [[flashback panels showing hologram video-phone conversation between Nute Gunray and Palpatine]] / Darth Maul: [[voiceover]] "Palpatine figured the Feds couldn't possibly know your true mission since he hadn't given it to you yet." / Nute Gunray: We will not torerate your spies. / Palpatine: Spies?...
Episode 183: Plot, Plot, Plot, Plot, Plot [[flashback scene of Trade Federation Headquarters control room]] / / Dofine: Sir, the Jedi. It rooks rike they're... pranning to search the loom. / Nute Gunray: That settles it. Destloy their ship and flood the loom with knockout gas. We'll intellogate them once we have them lestrained. / Trade Federation...
Episode 184: And You Thought We Were Near The End [[flashback scene of the Queen's audience chamber on Naboo]] / Darth Maul: [[voiceover]] "Well, the jig was up. Palpatine contacted Queen Amidala." / Palpatine: [[hologram]] Your Highness, I have news of the Lost Orb. / Queen Amidala: You've located it then, Senator? / Palpatine: Unfortunately, there...
Episode 185: On His Excellency's Secret Service [[flashback scene of the Trade Federation Headquarters bridge]] / Darth Maul: [[voiceover]] "Palpatine called the Feds again:" / Palpatine: [[hologram]] This is all an unfortunate misunderstanding. / Darth Maul: [[voiceover]] "But they weren't fooled. Canny S.O.B.s." / Nute Gunray: Don't pray innocent...
 
Episode 186: The Yellow Planet Black Cloak Blues Darth Maul: Then you maroons blundered into the middle of things and dragged the Queen off to that desert backwater. / Darth Maul: Luckily Bibble managed to sneak a message out to you, and you radioed back with some malarkey about planting a bomb in the throne room. / Darth Maul: [[voiceover]] "I traced...
Episode 187: Turncoats in Trenchcoats Darth Maul: [[voiceover]] "All I could do was tail you to Coruscant." / Palpatine: The Jedi are with the Council now; did you catch up with them? / Darth Maul: ... I wasn't able to talk with them, no. Why do you want them involved, anyway? They're loose cannons. / Palpatine: We need the Jedi Council...
Episode 188: We Now Return You to Your Regularly Scheduled Program Obi-Wan: Wow. There was a lot more going on than we realised. / Obi-Wan: But how did the Trade Federation know the Gungan battle plans? / Darth Maul: There's a snitch amongst the Gungans— / Qui-Gon: Bubble! I told you that goatee was trouble! / Obi-Wan: He's not a Gungan. / Darth Maul: Nah... one...
Episode 189: The Root of All Chaotic Neutral Obi-Wan: Maybe we can work together to recover the Orb. / Darth Maul: Finally, some sense. / Obi-Wan: For the Gungans. / Darth Maul: Ah. That could be a problem. / Darth Maul: Listen, kid. I've been in this game a long time. You can't trust these idealists. Palpatine's got the moolah and the smarts...
Episode 190: Grinding to the Next Level [SFX]: Pew Pew / [SFX]: Kabooom! / R2-D2: All right! Another hundred droids and I can level. / Anakin: Is that what you're doing? What about our mission? / R2-D2: Next level I can get Enhanced Environmental Sealing. I'm obviously not going to infiltrate an enemy HQ without that. / Anakin: It's so...
 
Episode 191: I <3 My Little Dinosaur Pony GM: The droids inexplicably shut down. / Jar Jar: Wesa won! Wesa won! / Captain Tarpals: Mesa so relieved. Mesa family safe now... / Jar Jar: What yousa mean? / Captain Tarpals: Mesa so ashamed. Da Trade Federation was threatening mesa family. Theysa made mesa tell them our plans. / Jar Jar: Yousa...
Episode 192: Give in to Your Anger R2-D2: Awesome! Now let's get some reinforcements up here to flush out the boss. / Anakin: Okay, I suppose that's the best you can do. / R2-D2: Yeah, th— / R2-D2: Wait. What? / Anakin: We came here to destroy the ship. / R2-D2: Well... we came here to stop the invasion. I was thinking we could keep...
Episode 193: The Devil and The Deep Black Pit Darth Maul: [[into phone]] Hello? Hello? Damn connection... / Darth Maul: Well, seeya round, kid. I gotta scram. / Obi-Wan: Wait! What does Palpatine want with the Orb? / Darth Maul: I dunno, and frankly I don't care. As long as I get paid. / Obi-Wan: You must know something. / Darth Maul: There...
Episode 194: The Devil Went Down the Gorge, Eh? Darth Maul: So what's it gonna be, kid? / Obi-Wan: Helping Palpatine bring peace to the Galaxy would be good... / Obi-Wan: But a Jedi knight is bound by honour. I promised to return the Lost Orb to the Gungans. / Darth Maul: Ah well. In that case, seeya round. I got an Orb to get. / Obi-Wan: I'll...
Episode 195: Dicing with Death Obi-Wan: [[running to check on Qui-Gon]] Master Qui-Gon! / Qui-Gon: Whu? How did you do that? / Obi-Wan: Force Jump. / Qui-Gon: Oooh! I'll take that instead of Critical Pirouette! / GM: Uh... / Obi-Wan: I try to stop the bleeding. / Qui-Gon: Wow, that Darth guy really liked to talk, didn't he? / GM:...
 
Episode 196: You're Always a Day Away Jar Jar: Doesn't yousa get to roll again? / Obi-Wan: Jar Jar's right! Your Fate Manipulation ability lets you reroll! / GM: That's right. / Qui-Gon: No. Only once per game day. I've used it already. / GM: What? When? / Qui-Gon: When I set up my brilliant plan to win the pod race. / GM: That was...
Episode 197: The Rest is Silence Obi-Wan: Master Qui-Gon! Stay with me! / GM: It's no good, he's dead. / Qui-Gon: I get heroic last words, right? / GM: You can't use a Force ability or anything. / Qui-Gon: No, that's cool. I just want to say something important. You know, some real "roleplaying drama" stuff. / GM: Okay, I'll allow...
Episode 198: Reincoronation Qui-Gon: [[dead]] I think I'll build a ninja for my new character. / GM: Um. It'd be a bit awkward introducing a... new character at this point in the adventure. It'll be better if you take over an NPC. / Qui-Gon: Cool. Captain Tarpit! / GM: Er... no. / Qui-Gon: Senator Puppeteen then. / GM: I don't...
Episode 199: I Never Metagamer I Liked Ric Olié: It's blowing up from the inside! We didn't hit it! / Anakin: We need to get out of here. Where's the Orb? / R2-D2: If you wanted the Orb, why did we blow the ship up? / Anakin: You blew the ship up. You find it. / R2-D2: Fine. I do a multispectral scan. Any sign of it? / GM: You read a...
Episode 200: Rush 'Em On GM: Okay Jim, you're Padmé now. / Padmé: Right. What have I been doing while Qui-Gon was heroically saving the day? / GM: You got captured by some droids in the palace. / Padmé: I lay down covering fire and dive out the window with my guards! / [SFX]: Pow! / [SFX]: Pow! / GM: Um. This has already...
 
Episode 201: Let Them Eat Cake Padmé: I think you can kiss your Trade franchise goodbye. Now get out of here. And don't mess with this badass Queen again! / Nute Gunray: Savour this victory as you would your rast. / [[Nute Gunray and Dofine turn and are led away by Naboo guards. Palpatine appears from his transport ship.]] / Palpatine:...
Episode 202: Nine-Tenths Obi-Wan: What happened to Valorum? / Palpatine: He's disappeared; we've been trying to find him, but he's proving elusive as a phantom. I fear he may become a menace in the future. / Padmé: Rebel scum! And speaking of things that disappeared, we found that thing! / Palpatine: Thing? / Padmé: You...
Episode 203: Sith Happens Obi-Wan: Master Yoda, I have failed. How can I go on without my master? / Yoda: A master no longer do you need. Confer on you, the level of Jedi Knight the Council does. / Obi-Wan: Even after I couldn't save Qui-Gon? / Yoda: More Jedi knights, we need. Of the Sith, know you? / Obi-Wan: Uh, no. / Yoda:...
Episode 204: In The Dark [[Qui-Gon's funeral. His body is being burnt on a pyre.]] / Obi-Wan: He is one with the Force, Anakin. You must let go. / Anakin: What will happen to me now? / Obi-Wan: I'm to train you as a Jedi. You should find it... a bit more instructive than the training you've received so far. / Mace Windu:...
Episode 205: James Bond will Return in: The Silence of the Clones [[Great celebration parade in the main square of Naboo]] / Padmé: My fellow beings of Naboo! Today is a great day! / Padmé: We have defeated the evil plans of the Trade Federation! / Padmé: And, thanks to the incredible bravery and cleverness of the Cheddar monk Qui-Gon Jinn, we've recovered the Lost...
 
Episode 206: Best Waylaid Plans [[A page showing the GM's handwritten notes]] / Heading: CAMPAIGN PLAN / List item: Ben / List item: Jim / Paragraph: The PCs are two Xagy {"Xagy" is crossed out and "Ceda" inserted, which is also crossed out, and "Jedi" inserted} Knights, guardians of peace and justice throughout the Galaxy. Chancellor...
Episode 207: The Jedi Master's New Groove GM: You're in Theed, the capital of Naboo. It's a beautiful city of monumental architecture, with verdigris roofed stone buildings lining public squares filled with marble statuary. / Obi-Wan: We head to the royal palace. / GM: You're still in your bongo, on the river. / Obi-Wan: Uh-oh. / Qui-Gon:...
Episode 208: Fish Fall. Everyone Dies. GM: You reach a balcony. You see the Queen and her retinue being led away by combat droids. / Qui-Gon: I cast Summon Bigger Fish. / GM: What? / Obi-Wan: What? / Qui-Gon: I roll 17. I drop it on the droids! / GM: You know what? Fine. A giant fish appears in the air above them. / SFX: SPLAT!!! [[a...
Episode 209: The Saga Continues GM: Right, the old team reassembled. Good to see you again, Annie. / Annie: Thanks. I kind of missed you guys and the game. Sally, you've really grown. / Sally: I like your earrings. / Annie: Thanks. Hi, Jim. Pete. / Jim: Hi! It's been, what, two years? / Pete: I'm only here because you said it...
Episode 210: Poetry in Demotion Lieutenant: We are making our final approach into Coruscant. / Padmé: Cool. I'm the Queen, right? / R2-D2: Oh great, royalty again. / GM: Your... term expired and you've been appointed Senator for Naboo. / Obi-Wan: The Queen's term expired? / GM: She was elected, remember? / Obi-Wan: Oh, that's...
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 >>