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Episode 361: A Cerodon, a Sliver, and an Atog walk into an Arena Count Dook?: Release ze wahld beeasts! / Nute Gunray: Rearry? / Count Dook?: Mais oui! Zey 'ave not been fed in a monse! / Nute Gunray: We should simpry shoot them. This Geonosian plocrivity for drama is a preposterous waste of time. Worse. The Separatist arriance will rook on this as barbalic. / Count...
Episode 362: Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Dice Obi-Wan: All right, those didn't work... I try Force Pull to grab the keys off the guard's belt. / GM: That could work. Roll. / Obi-Wan: 5. / GM: Do you want to use your Fate Manipulation reroll? / Obi-Wan: 3 again, oh man. / Obi-Wan: Okay, I try Force Levitation to lift the pillar out of the ground. / GM:...
Episode 363: Happy Feat GM: The acklay attacks. / Obi-Wan: What's an acklay, exactly? / Padm?: It's a breed of giant penguin. / Obi-Wan: Ixnay on the acklay of owledgenay... / Padm?: What? / GM: It's a 4 metre tall crustacean with dagger-like fangs and razor-sharp spikes on each of its six powerful claws. / GM: Obi-Wan,...
Episode 364: This Is A Spinal Trap Padm?: I climb the chain to the top of my stone pillar. 12. / GM: As you reach the top, the nexu?a savage manticore-like beast covered in spines?aims a claw at you. / [SFX]: Snaaarrrl! / Padm?: I twist around to evade! 5! / Obi-Wan: Uh oh. You'll probably get knocked right off the column. / [SFX]:...
Episode 365: The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living GM: Anakin, the reek charges you. It's a huge bull-like creature with three horns. / Nute Gunray: This is barbalic. / Anakin: I wait until the last second and Force Leap on to its back. / [SFX]: Graaahhhr! / Padm?: Awesome, that's phase 3. / Nute Gunray: But quite exciting. Tell me, has a particurar...
 
Episode 366: Children's Crusade Jango Fett: Finally, we'll have our revenge against Kenobi. / Boba Fett: Our revenge? / Jango Fett: This is your crusade too, Boba. Remember, his negligence killed your mother. / Boba Fett: How did she die, dad? / Jango Fett: She was doing a job for me. Kenobi cut her hand off and captured her. / Jango...
Episode 367: Abridged Too Far Obi-Wan: Hang on. How can I hear Jango and Boba? / [SFX]: Ryyaarrrk! [[the acklay screeches as Obi-Wan fights it with a spear taken off a guard]] / GM: Jango's still carrying your listening device. He wants you to hear it. / Obi-Wan: But that means I should have heard everything he's said since the...
Episode 368: I Am Not a Crook! Padm?: I swing on my chain and kick the Nixon as it tries to attack. / GM: Nexu. / Obi-Wan: You neglected to get Sally's help with these creature names, didn't you? / GM: [[aside]] Although that gives me a good idea for a political campaign. / [SFX]: 13! [[Padm? whacks the nexu]] / Nute Gunray:...
Episode 369: The Regal Has Landed [[The reek stops dragging Anakin, he gets up and approaches it]] / [SFX]: Graaarrrh! / Anakin: I dominate the reek's feeble mind with Force Suggestion. 16. / GM: Okay, you can leap back on. / [[The reek kills the nexu]] / [SFX]: Graaarrrh! / Anakin: Jump, Padm?! / Padm?: How high am I? / GM:...
Episode 370: Second Windu Count Dook?: Zis is not good. Ze crowd, zey are booing ze beasts. / Nute Gunray: The clowd is arrowed to participate? Excerrent. Send in my dloidekas. / [[Droidekas arrive and surround the PCs]] / Obi-Wan: Oh man. I thought we'd managed to save ourselves. / GM: Sally, it's time for your big entrance....
 
Episode 371: Dire Hire, Robes on Fire GM: Dozens of Jedi appear and an all-in battle breaks out in the arena. / [SFX]: Whooom! / [SFX]: Whooom! / Mace Windu: Quick, Mr Fett! Help my friends! / Count Dook?: Ah, Monsieur Windu. Ah do not think zat Zhango will entertain your offer. / Jango Fett: He means: No. / Mace Windu: Give me the...
Episode 372: Aggressive Negotiations Mace Windu: I jump into the arena. / GM: The droid army marches in and starts firing. The Jedi fight back. / [SFX]: Pow! / Mace Windu: Fight! Fight! / Mace Windu: Fight! Fight! / Mace Windu: Fight! Fight! / [SFX]: Whooom! / Mace Windu: Fight! Fight! / Mace Windu: Fight! Fight! / GM: Anakin,...
Episode 373: With Friends Like These, Who Needs A Nemesis? GM: Jango Fett appears next to you, shooting at Jedi. / Mace Windu: I run up and hit him! / GM: He fires at you... but the shot goes wide. Make an attack roll. / [SFX]: Whooom! / [SFX]: Krtshhh! / Mace Windu: 20! I cut his head off!! / GM: Er... okay. His helmet falls to the ground and he falls...
Episode 374: Jedi and Droids and Monsters, Oh My GM: One of the droids in the arena has C-3PO's head. / Mace Windu: [[aside]] I never meant to kill him. / Padm?: Nobody hit the butler robot halves! / Combat droid on C-3PO's body: Roger roger. / Padm?: It's a good thing I'm in charge. / [SFX]: Ryyaarrrk! / Obi-Wan: I disarm the acklay. [[cuts...
Episode 375: Half Time Anakin: We need to find some cover. You can't dodge blaster fire forever. / GM: A droid shoots the beast and the chariot tips over. / [SFX]: Kapow! / [SFX]: Krash! / Anakin: Good enough, I guess. / Padm?: You hide here, I'll shoot the robots! / [SFX]: Pow! / Anakin: It's my job to protect you,...
 
Episode 376: The Prodigal Robot Padm?: Pete! You're back! / R2-D2: Yeah. I just want to say something... / Anakin: Yes? / R2-D2: The factory session was... poorly run. / Padm?: It was? / R2-D2: I shouldn't take it so seriously. / Padm?: You were taking it seriously? / R2-D2: It's just a game. / [[beat, Padm? looking confused]] / R2-D2:...
Episode 377: Re-pair-ations GM: The fight continues to rage in the arena. / [SFX]: Pow! / Padm?: Pete! Help us out. / [SFX]: Pow! / R2-D2: I remove C-3PO's head from the combat droid body. / C-3PO: I bite him! / R2-D2: I tow the head across the arena. / C-3PO: Hey everyone! R2-D2 thinks combat droids are poopy-heads! Shoot...
Episode 378: S?misch versus Nimzowitsch Obi-Wan: We're being slaughtered here. There are too many attackers. We need to coordinate. / [SFX]: Pow! / [SFX]: Whooom! / Padm?: I had a plan? / [SFX]: Pow! / Obi-Wan: Our laser swords can deflect everything from the direction we're facing. Let's form a tight circle. / [SFX]: Whooom! / Anakin:...
Episode 379: Siege Mentality Padm?: So, you're saying... impersonating robots can't work? / GM: Okay, that's another hour. Everyone make another Fatigue roll. / Anakin: This is hopeless. We need to try something else. What about cutting our way into the tunnels under the arena? / GM: Finally. / Padm?: Oooh, that's a good plan. / R2-D2:...
Episode 380: Sulk Addiction Mace Windu: I can't do this any more. I'll just walk the Galaxy. / Padm?: What do you mean, walk the Galaxy? / Mace Windu: You know, walk the Galaxy, meet aliens. / GM: Maybe you should play someone else, Sally. But you can't keep swapping characters every time you get bored or annoyed. That's not...
 
Episode 381: Send in the Clones GM: Yoda arrives above the arena in his ship. / Yoda: I brought all the clones from Kamino! / GM: The... what? / Padm?: Awesome! / GM: Actually, Yoda, as you discovered on Kamino, Jango built in a failsafe to keep control of his army. / GM: If he died, millions of clones would suddenly hear a lone...
Episode 382: The Wonderful Jedi of Oz Yoda: Listen up, clones! / Yoda: These Jedi we must save. / Yoda: Form a circle around them and keep the droids away. / Yoda: Your thoughts I sense: It's a big drop! / Yoda: But Jango flew around with a jetpack, and you're all like him. Fine you will be. / Yoda: Droids are not so tough. They get...
Episode 383: Fly, You Fools Nute Gunray: Curious. Jango's crones are attacking my dloids. Where is Jango? / Count Dook?: Er... uh... / Nute Gunray: Oh. Never mind, I see him now. / Nute Gunray: Well, that is an annoyance. We shall have to call in the hailfire dloids. / [[The clone troopers descend in ships and clear a zone...
Episode 384: Death Is Underlined R2-D2: So. / R2-D2: It comes to this. / R2-D2: Abandoned again. / R2-D2: Right when a nice big land war is starting. / R2-D2: Guess I'll go back to the ship and get into the action. / R2-D2: Through the droid factory. / R2-D2: Which was totally doable, by the way. / Boba Fett: Goodbye, adopted...
Episode 385: With Sugar on Top Obi-Wan: Master Yoda, Master Windu, I discovered how Jango Fett financed the clone army. / Obi-Wan: He misappropriated funds from the Jedi Council. That's why the Kaminoans thought the Council had ordered the army. / Yoda: Taking money from the Jedi Council this Jango Fett was? How is this possible? / Yoda:...
 
Episode 386: Legends of the Fall Anakin: So I'm reinstated too? / Yoda: What have you done to deserve such an honour, young Padawan? Hmmm? / Anakin: I've deduced vital information. I think Dook? might be a Sith Lord. / Obi-Wan: Sith? But they're just legends. / Anakin: Remember, Yoda, you told Obi-Wan that fanatics are dedicating...
Episode 387: Food Fight GM: On the plain outside the arena you see a vast army of droids and troop ships. / Yoda: Everyone shoot at the Coke can! / GM: It's a Hardcell-class Techno Union interstellar transport. / [SFX]: Whooosh! / [SFX]: Kaboom! / Yoda: Now it's a piece of junk! / GM: Okay... Someone get some paper towels. / Padm?:...
Episode 388: When Push Comes to Shove GM: Padm?, Anakin, Obi-Wan: Make a Spot check. / [SFX]: Roll / [SFX]: Roll / [SFX]: Roll / Obi-Wan: I rolled highest. 15. / GM: You see Count Dook? speeding away into the desert on a hoverbike. / Padm?: After him! / Anakin: A war zone is no place for a Senator. We have to get you to safety. / Obi-Wan:...
Episode 389: Desert Desertion Dissertation Obi-Wan: What are you doing? We need to go back and pick up Padm?. / Anakin: I won't put her in danger! / Obi-Wan: Anakin, we don't have the authority to deal with Dook? alone. We need Padm?. / Obi-Wan: If we negotiate with Dook? on behalf of the Senate we can end this war right now. She has a job...
Episode 390: Pick Up Lines Padm?: Hey, Yoda, come and get me. We have a fight to get to! / Yoda: Okay! / GM: You can't hear her? / Padm?: HEY YODA!! / GM: ?she's out in the desert and you're commanding the troops. / Yoda: I use my Force powers! / GM: Oh... you're playing a powerful Jedi Master. I keep losing track. / R2-D2:...
 

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