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| Subliminal Message | [[Alp is holding a weird contraption with an antenna on top and a large red button.]]
/ Alp: Ferd, this may be my spiffiest invention ever!
/ Ferdinand: What is it? / Alp: Behold the subliminal message machine!! / Ferdinand: What does it do?
/ Alp: What doesn't it do?
/ Alp: I point it at someone's TV,... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=1 |
| Leader Shmeader, Page 1 | [[Aaron and Harold sit on lounge chairs on a deck behind their house. The sun is setting in the background.]] / Harold: You know what really depresses me? The lack of great leaders these days.
/ Aaron: What do you mean? / Harold: In the past we had the likes of Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Jefferson,... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=2 |
| Leader Shmeader, Page 2 | [[Ferdinand pops his head over from the door.]]
/ Ferdinand: Hey guys, just wanted to let you know I'm gettin' the popcorn ready for what should be a great night of news! / Ferdinand: At 8 there's an in depth investigation into which U.N. Secretary Generals most enjoyed whipped cream massaged between... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=3 |
| Bird Brains, Page 1 | [[Ferdinand and Alp are walking in the forest on an autumn day. The trees and bushes are red, orange, and yellow.]] / [[Ferdinand looks up at the sky.]] / [[Ferdinand sees birds flying in a V-formation]] / Ferdinand: Alp, you know a lot of stuff, right?
/ Alp: That is true. / Ferdinand: I've always... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=4 |
| Bird Brains, Page 2 | [[Ferdinand and Alp are walking through the forest at fall time. The leaves are orange, red, and yellow.]]
/ Alp: Well, it's a very little known fact that birds are literate. They enjoy showing off their knowledge of the alphabet. / Ferdinand: Really? Then why don't they use any letter besides v? / Alp:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=5 |
| It's About Time | [[Aaron and Ferdinand are watching television. Ferdinand is sitting in the cushy chair, while Aaron stands behind him.]] / Aaron: Have you ever noticed how long time scales are in nature? It takes light millions of years to travel between galaxies. / Aaron: Dinosaurs became extinct 65 million years... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=6 |
| A Hairy Situation, Page 1 | [[Harold is laying on a hill top on a beautiful, blue sky day.]] / Harold: Ahh...this is the life. Just peace and quiet. Absolutely nothing could ruin this perfect day. / Ferdinand: Hey HAROLD!! http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=7 |
| A Hairy Situation, Page 2 | [[Ferdinand approaches Harold, who has been sitting out on a grassy hill on a beautiful, blue sky day.]]
/ Ferdinand: Hey, how's it going? I'm not interrupting anything, am I? / Harold: Well actually -- / Ferdinand: -- What A funny coincidence that we run into each other here! What's new with you? / Harold:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=8 |
| A Hairy Situation, Page 3 | [[Harold and Ferdinand are talking on a green, grassy hill, out on a blue sky day.]]
/ Harold: I don't know ... those things are always so crowded. I just feel out of place. / Ferdinand: Really? I never knew! / Ferdinand: You know what you need?! Something to boost your confidence! / Harold: Oh yeah?... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=9 |
| A Hairy Situation, Page 4 | [[The scene is outside Alp's lab. The signs read: Danger. Stay out!! That means you! It's a pretty messy place, with a full mailbox, trashcan tipped over and overflowing, and barb wire.]]
/ Alp: I'm so glad that you guys are visiting!...
/ Alp: ...It's been awhile since I saw you last... / [[Cut to... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=10 |
| A Hairy Situation, Page 5 | [[Alp is holding a bottle full of some sort of glowing, blue concoction. The label of the bottle says "Alp's chest hair tonic. Do not mix with fertilizer. For ages 3 years and older. Children under 3 should consult a physician.]]
/ Alp: My amazing new, chest hair tonic! Just a dab of this stuff and get... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=11 |
| A Hairy Situation, Page 6 | Alp: You really don't want to try it Harold? You just want to give up? Where's your sense of obligation to help the less fortunate? / Alp: Maybe you get to live in a nice house, eating a preservative-laden tv dinner, curled up on your couch, all warm and cozy and without a care in the world! / Alp:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=12 |
| A Hairy Situation, Page 7 | [[Alp and Harold stand in a messy room in Alp's lab.]]
/ Alp: Fantastic! I'll just pour a little out so you can rub it onto your chest.
/ Harold: Great.
/ < http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=13 |
| A Hairy Situation, Page 8 | [[Ferdinand raises his arms in triumph.]]
/ Ferdinand: You did it Alp! You did it! This is awesome! You'll be rich! You'll be famous! / Harold: Wow. It's so soft and velvety. You know what? I think it's really working. I'm feeling more confident already. / Harold: I have the sudden urge to try calling... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=14 |
| A Hairy Situation, Page 9 | [[A tropical beach full of beach goers.]] / [[Ferdinand, Harold, and Alp sitting at the beach with their new chest hair.]] / Ferdinand: What a fantastic day at the beach! I can feel the cool salty air blowing against my chest hair! / Alp: Yeah, I look back now and I can't believe I lived so many years... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=15 |
| A Hairy Situation, Page 10 | [[Ferdinand, Harold, and Alp wave at women passing by at the beach.]] / [[Ferdinand, Harold, and Alp continue waving at women passing by at the beach].] / Ferdinand: That's odd. I wonder why everyone is smiling and laughing.
/ Alp: There must be some clowns on the beach somewhere. / Harold: By the... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=16 |
| A Hairy Situation, Page 11 | Alp: I hate to break up your love fest, but can we just have a fun day at the beach *without* all this mushy stuff?! / Ferdinand: Mushy stuff?!--
/ Harold: Hey look! Aaron's here!
/ Harold: I bet he'll be jealous of our chest hair!! / Aaron: Hey guys! Ha! Ha! I heard you were out here and I just *had*... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=17 |
| A Hairy Situation, Page 12 | Aaron: Firstly, you should realize that chest hair hasn't been cool since the early 1980s! / Aaron: Secondly, if you invent something that can instantly grow hair, shouldn't you use it for balding men?!...
/ Aaron: ... That's a guaranteed goldmine! / Aaron: I'm outta here! See you around! Ha! Ha! Ha! / Aaron:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=18 |
| A Hairy Situation, Page 13 | [[View of Harold lying on a hilltop, more hills in the distance. The sun is beginning to set.]] / [[Ferdinand, off panel]]
/ Ferdinand: Hey Harold! I *knew* I would find you out here! / Ferdinand: Is your chest hair gone?
/ Harold: Yeah... / Harold: It all fell our a couple of hours ago. You too? / Ferdinand:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=19 |
| A Hairy Situation, Page 14 | Ferdinand: ...So are you goin' to Aaron's party right now?
/ Harold: Of course.
/ Ferdinand: Really? That's great! Why the change of heart? / Harold: The whole business with the chest hair made me appreciate that I don't need to change my appearance to boost my confidence!
/ Ferdinand: Because you've decided... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=20 |
| Pathetic Apathetic, Page 1 | [[Ferdinand and Aaron at the kitchen table, reading separate newspapers.]]
/ [[Ferdinand's paper says: REALLY IMPORTANT NEWS -- Because we said so!]]
/ [[Aaron's paper says: SUPERFICIAL COVERAGE]] / Ferdinand: That's it! I can't take it anymore! / Aaron: What's with you?
/ [[Aaron's paper says: SUPERFICIAL... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=21 |
| Pathetic Apathetic, Page 2 | [[Ferdinand and Aaron at the kitchen table]]
/ Ferdinand: I'm going to...
/ Ferdinand: ... * / [[Ferdinand checks his wrist watch]] / Ferdinand: Oops!... I almost forgot that "American Idol" is on! / [[Ferdinand walks to another room]]
/ [[Aaron's newspaper says: FEAR MONGERING -- Because it sells]] / Aaron:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=22 |
| To the Point | [[Aaron and Ferdinand at the beach, Ferdinand with a surfboard.]]
/ Aaron: How was the surfing today?
/ Ferdinand: Sharp. / Aaron: Sharp? / [[Shark hanging off Ferdinand's butt says...]]
/ Shark: Sharp. http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=23 |
| Popcorn for the Eyes | [[Marquee says: Now Playing: Popcorn for the eyes. People are gathering around to enter the movie theater.]] / Ferdinand: What do you want to watch? / Aaron: I have no idea!
/ Aaron: This is the *worst* summer for movies ever! / Aaron: There is *no* innovation!
/ Aaron: Shrek III, Spider-man III, Pirates... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=24 |
| Branded | [[Aaron and Ferdinand outside a movie theatre]]
/ [[Ferdinand and Arron, outdoors. Ferd's shirt says "GAP"]]
/ Ferdinand: How do you like my new shirt?
/ Aaron: *GAP?!* What's with the logo? / Ferdinand: I think it adds something extra to the *boring* gray shirt I usually wear. / Aaron: You people with... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=25 |
| Spacin' Out | [[Alp and Harold are standing at a table while Alp works on an invention in Alp's lab.]]
/ Harold: Alp, if you could do anything in the world, what would it be? / Alp: Hmmm... let's see... it'd have to be going to outer space. / Harold: That's a good one! So few get that kind of opportunity. It must... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=26 |
| Higher Ground, Page 1 | [[Scenic nature view: Ferdinand and Aaron walking a path along a stream. Path crosses a bridge in the distance. Rocks, trees, hills.]] / Ferdinand: Being out in nature gives one a chance to relax and think.
/ Ferdinand: For example, I was just thinking to myself how *proud* I am that this country doesn't... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=27 |
| Higher Ground, Page 2 | [[Scenic nature view: Ferdinand and Aaron walking a path, now crossing a bridge over a stream. Rocks, trees, hills.]]
/ Ferdinand: Well if we can learn about terrorist plots and make our citizens safer then it's worth it!
/ Aaron: But does it ultimately make us safer if we lose our integrity in the process?
/ Aaron:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=28 |
| Hot Dog!, Page 1 | [[Aaron at the kitchen sink]]
/ Aaron: This is ridiculous! Why am I always the one washing dishes?!
/ Aaron: If I could find Ferd I would wring his scrawny neck! / Ferd: There you are Aaron! I was lookin' everywhere!
/ Ferd: I should have known you'd be washin' dishes *as usual*! / Ferd: Take a good... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=29 |
| Hot Dog!, Page 2 | [[Aaron and Ferdinand in the kitchen, Aaron doing the dishes in the sink.]]
/ Ferdinand: It's the next great American sport!
/ Ferdinand: What's more patriotic than consuming large quantities of unidentifiable meat products?! / Aaron: A *sport*, huh?
/ Aaron: What kind of training do you do for this so-called... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=30 |
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